Spirtual Misadventures
by eban
Summary: A teenage boy dies and takes on the body of one of Dragonball Z's characters during the Dragon ball Timeline. Now expanded to include bits of the Dragonball Z storyline. Please C
1. Chapter 1

Spiritual Misadventure  
By: Agasaki Ishano  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my ideas and myself, take them and die.  
  
"Speech" *Thoughts * _Emphasis _  
  
(My notes)  
  
Chapter one: In The Beginning  
  
A dark haired boy, 16 years of age, walked down the moderately busy streets of Lindsay, Ontario. His large black coat, barely keeping the harsh winter winds from his vulnerable skin, he entered Archie's, a comic, cards and video store. He nodded to the man at the counter, whose name he had never bothered to get or remember if he had asked for it before. "Hey." He muttered as he glanced at the comic shelf, not seeing any new ones, he turned to the man. "Do you know when you'll be getting some new X-treme X- men?" He casually asked of the storekeeper.  
  
The keeper shook his head, "I don't know. They should have been in last week. Try again next week Ok?"  
  
The youth shrugged slightly, "Ok, sure. Anything new for Magic." He questioned as he looked over to the clear glass case that held the boosters and starter sets of one of the only games that kept his attention for a long period of time.  
  
Again the storekeeper shook his head, "Apocalypse is still the only new set out so far."  
  
The boy nodded and attempted to start up some small talk to avoid going home to face the horror of studying for exams. "Got any favourite cards from the set?"  
  
The storekeeper began to respond but a teenager in a black trench coat entered and walked towards the magazine rack. The guy at the counter kept one eye on the new kid while still talking to the first youth. "Not really, they all have their perks. But if you're running a green/black I'd add a few penumbra creatures and some regenerator spells."  
  
Another kid walked into the store, "Hey Evan." He said, perking up a bit as he saw his friends face.  
  
"Hey Paul. What's up?" Evan responded. "You getting some magic or something?"  
  
Paul nodded and asked the storekeeper for a starter pack. Soon after he left, the other two teens still in the store.  
  
Just then, the trench coat kid pulled out a 9mm automatic pistol, and yelled out, "Both of you!! On the floor!!" Evan and the teller responded quickly, dropping to the floor. The gun toting kid rang in a purchase and started to empty the cash register. Evan began his attempt to escape. He slowly slithered towards the door of the store, but the trench-coated teen noticed him and squeezed off five rounds. Evan convulsed in pain as each hollow pointed round cut through his flesh and ripped up his internal organs, spraying blood on the floor as they exited the other side. Evan screamed as the boy released another six shots that shattered his cranium and brought darkness.  
  
*******************  
  
Evan awoke in a void, with small specks of light smattering the background. *I must be dreaming. This can't be real. * Evan felt his stomach lurch as the points of light closed in on him and engulfed him in bright whiteness. *Uhh, did I take acid or something? Cause this is crazy trippy. * He thought as he felt another lurch and the light giving points shot back to their previous position. *What the hell is going on!?! It feels like I'm in some sort of weird catapult that won't fire at an angle. Down then up and down again. Man this is tiring. * Then he felt a new sensation, much like feathers covering his body, sort of tingly. *Ok, I thought the broken catapult bit was weird, but this takes the. * Evan never finished his thought as the 'catapult' launched him at an incredible velocity towards the points of light. When he hit the light, instead of stopping and falling again, he broke through it and picked up speed. Strange voices, or at least Evan thought they were voices, started calling out in different languages, or at least tones of voice. Then everything became like some strange, real life science fiction movie as oddly shaped space craft of various designs began moving around, flying from planet to planet and occasionally shooting at each other with beams of energy. Then Evan spotted something strange, something he recognised.  
  
******************  
  
"King Vegeta! You must believe me!!" a man with large, black, spiked hair yelled at a larger man with larger, spikier hair.  
  
"Bardock, Frieza will not destroy us, we are to powerful and to large an army. I have nothing to fear for my son." King Vegeta stated and put a hand on a smaller version of himself that looked up to his father and nodded.  
  
"Yes Bardock, we will defeat Frieza." The young prince said in agreement with his father.  
  
"Please. Allow me to help you sire. I can save your son, I have already sent my boy Kakorotte to a distant planet known as Earth. There he will dominate and keep the planet for the race until needed if we survive. But he could use the prince's help as he is much more powerful than my son." Bardock bowed as he attempted to change his lord's mind.  
  
King Vegeta paced, with Vegeta standing back to allow his father to think, "You raise a good point Bardock, to long have I gone without a vacation. Of course your boy will save some of the planets life forms for target practice." Bardock nodded a smile on his face.  
  
"Of course your highness, my boy would not think to disobey, he has been well trained." The king nodded and brushed his hand over his Saiyan armour, taking away a small speck of dirt that had fallen from the ceiling.  
  
"Good, then if Vegeta wishes to accompany your boy he shall." King Vegeta turned to his son. "What do you wish Vegeta?" Vegeta held a hand to his chin.  
  
"I think it would be fun to destroy a planet. I want to go." He answered in a raspy voice. Bardock nodded.  
  
"I'll set up the second pod to the same coordinates Kakorotte went to." King Vegeta nodded.  
  
"See that you do. Vegeta, go with Bardock. You will launch as soon as possible." Vegeta smiled.  
  
"Yes father."  
  
*******************  
  
Evan's eyes grew large, *That's Planet Vegeta. And Frieza. * Evan was to caught up in the moment to notice the Saiyan space pod headed from the planet and towards him. *That means I'm in. * Once again he couldn't finish his thought as the pod rammed through him, and he felt himself again for the first time before some gas poured out of a vent in the pod. Evan outstretched his now small hand and tried to stay awake, but the gas was to powerful and Evan fell into hyper sleep. Small hand collapsing, limp onto his dark Saiyan armour.  
  
**********************  
  
BOOM!!! Evan awoke to the bomb shell of a collision, wondering if he was awake. But strangely everything was dark. *Uh, my head is killing me. * He thought as he felt around for his bed light, which was no where to be found. He passed his hand over some sort of switch and the lights went on. He groggily looked around and snapped to awareness. "WHERE THE HECK AM I!?!?!" He screamed as he pounded on the metallic sidings of the sphere he currently inhabited. Then he noticed his hands. *They're so small, like. a child's. What's going on here? * He looked himself over. *I look familiar, but not the way I should. Something is definitely wrong. I have. Saiyan arm or. Oh god. * he thought as he grimaced when his hand touched a small tail. *As I suspected. I knew I recognized that scene from somewhere. Frieza must have been just about to blow Planet. Evan wiped his forehead and almost screamed. *Ok, this cannot be happening. I cannot be who I think I am. Please God let me wake up. PLEASE!!! * He brought his hand up further, running it smoothly over the large spikes in his hair. Then he swiftly brought his hand down and smacked his face once, then twice when the first blow didn't awaken him from reality. "I guess I'll just have to deal with it." He pushed a hand up against the space sealed door to the pod and it glided open.  
  
"OH MY WORD IT'S A SPACE MAN!!!" A lady screamed, and many others, all yelling about the space man, followed her cry.  
  
Vegeta put a hand on his forehead and brought his head down. "It's going to be a long day." He muttered as he started out of the large crater his pod had made in the downtown area of Orange Star City.  
  
Some police officers leapt behind their cars and drew pistols. "STAY WHERE YOU ARE!!! WE WILL SHOOT!!!" Vegeta shrugged.  
  
"Fine by me, I've already been shot a couple times today." The cops lowered their weapons in confusion.  
  
One officer turned to his partner. "Did he just say 'I've already been shot today?'" He asked. The other officer nodded.  
  
"I think so." Vegeta shook his head.  
  
"Incompetent fools. Can't even arrest a kid." One policeman looked interested.  
  
"Did you just say you were only a kid. Not a space man?" He asked with genuine curiosity.  
  
Vegeta put a hand to his chin. *If I tell these idiots that I'm just a kid who got caught in a Capsule corp. experiment gone wrong, my identity would be safe and Goku would be able to handle the entire Dragonball series without me messing things up. Cause that series is the best part about this universe. Wait I'm still treating this like reality. that I guess it is, cause I was shot and died, maybe that would explain the whole broken catapult. What was that about anyway? * One of the cops had already walked up beside the young Saiyan and was about to put a hand on his shoulder to break off his trance when Vegeta spoke up.  
  
"Yup, I'm just a kid. I was testing this new space pod for Capsule corp. Pretty nifty eh?" *God I feel dumb. * Vegeta thought as he awaited the officer's answer.  
  
The policeman cheered up instantly and placed a firm hand on Vegeta's shoulder. "Ok sonny. You're free to go. But tell Dr. Briefs not to fire any of his contraptions at Orange Star City again please Ok?" Vegeta nodded.  
  
"Sure thing mister!" *I'd like to vaporize him for gene pool cleansing reasons alone. * Vegeta gave of a large phony smile and began walking backwards attempting to get away from the policemen.  
  
"Cute kid eh?" One officer asked his partner.  
  
"Yeah, but someone should cut his hair." The other officer said, both men nodded and let out a simultaneous "Mmhmm" Vegeta just walked away and started to pick up speed.  
  
He stopped three blocks later and considered the second officer's suggestion. "I probably should cut my hair, although it suits me, a nice Gohan in cell series cut would do me fine." He approached a random lady and in a childish voice asked. "Excuse me lady, I'm supposed to meet my mommy at the barber shop. But I don't know where it is. Can you tell me?" He asked, giving off puppy eyes and looking like he was about to cry.  
  
The lady bent down and kindly pointed the way for the Saiyan. "Just down the street dear, you can't miss it. It has a big red and white pole out side of it." She smiled and Vegeta thanked her and started towards the barbershop.  
  
*Oscar please. Thank you, I would like to thank Akira Toriyama for writing these people as mindless buffoons that I may bend to my every will. * He started to walk with a bit of pride in his step, *Oh, I da man. *  
  
As he neared the barbershop he noticed that he would need money to get a trim. *What can I do that isn't to demeaning, such as begging. Stealing is out of the question at the moment, as I don't want to raise any more suspicion with local law enforcement, though they would die at my ha. Got it. Fighting tournaments. * The spiky haired Saiyan looked around, and conveniently enough there was a flyer for a children's anything goes martial arts tournament hosted in another district. *Look out tournament, here comes the prince of the remainder of the Saiyan race. Which reminds me, Radditz and Nappa will be of great aid once I am older. Hehehe. * Vegeta let out some of his evil laugh without realising it and scared away an old lady. *Now I need to know the full power range of this body, cause I haven't seen Vegeta chibi ever. well there was GT but that was his grandkid. *  
  
*****************  
  
Later that day in an abandoned warehouse in Orange Star city. "HA!!!" Vegeta threw a punch that shattered a wooden beam with ease. "Man, I am good. Now to try some ki." Vegeta put one hand in front of him and aimed at another beam. He started to push some energy into that hand and attempted to make it fly at the beam. He began to sweat, pushing harder and harder at the ki that was building in his hand. "Must. shoot. pole." Vegeta grunted as he kept on pushing the ki. "Must. find. out. how." He let out a yell of anger and pushed harder, a ball of bluish green ki appeared out of his hand. He pressed harder and the ball started to grow, then he released the pressure he had been putting on the ball, it expanded ten fold and shot towards the beam at breakneck speed. Vegeta realised what was going to happen and his eyes went wide. "Uh oh." He stated and crossed his arms in front of him to defend against the blast as he had seen some of the characters do in the normal DBZ series.  
  
THUD!. THUD!.. THUD! THUD! THUDTHUDTHUD!! Vegeta panicked when he realised that the thuds where support beams breaking in half and that his ki blast was still going. Just at the most inopportune time, the exhaustion of firing such a blast caught up to the young warrior and he felt weak at the knees. *I have to get out of here!! But my knees are about to collapse, and just as I found out how to control some of my power too!! * Vegeta allowed his knees to go out and he slumped down to the floor, accepting defeat at his own hands. There was a loud cracking sound and the black haired boy looked up to see the roof starting to cave. *I have to do something. I must live. * the cracking grew louder and the roof sagged even lower. *I have to live. I can't die. Not again. * Another loud crack echoed dully through the building and Vegeta attempted to stand. He got up on shaking knees and took four steps towards the doorway that was over 20 feet away. Vegeta became determined and started slithering towards the exit on his stomach. Another dull crack, this time longer and harsher, Vegeta didn't even bother to look up to estimate how much time he had left before the roof collapsed on him. Then, just as Vegeta was 2 feet from safety, a long ripping sound forced him to look up and regret that he did, a large wooden beam fell from the ceiling and landed right on top of him. Vegeta called out for anyone to hear, "HELP ME!! PLEASE!! HELP ME!!" He began to sob. "Not again, please. Not again."  
  
******************  
  
When the small Saiyan awoke he found that he was in front of a desk, an incredibly large desk, with an equally huge man sitting behind it. The titan of a man looked over his massive desk and down on the short prince. He then returned to his desk and flipped through some files. "Your name is Evan William McNeely, correct?" Evan/Vegeta nodded. "And you were thrown into this body after you died?" Again Evan nodded to in awe of what was happening to say anything.  
  
"Well Evan, your in luck. King Kai wants to see you, he wishes to help you deal with your current situation and train you. You may become a great fighter in that body, but always remember to fight with your heart, stay pure Evan. I realise that you may not be ready to run snake way right now, but try to make your way to King Kai, You do have eternity you know." Evan nodded, still to amazed at what was happening to him. The large man pointed towards the road of Snake Way. Evan walked up to the long road and adjusted his Saiyan armour.  
  
*This is going to take some doing, but if I'm stuck in this body, Kai training will definitely help. Better be off. * Vegeta thought as he started to jog down the road to King Kai's planet.  
  
*********************  
  
Three days later, Vegeta fell to the ground for the umpteenth time in three days, he gasped for breath and reviewed his situation. "Jogging is not helping, though I feel more in shape. I still have like a bazillion miles left. Goku flew there; maybe I can do that too. I mean, my ki level has been rising, I can feel that. If I can use that huge blast, I just might be able to fly." Vegeta stood up after his short breather and spread his legs and arms. He let out a scream and watched as blue ki erupted around him. *Little power up and I should be good to go. * He stopped powering up after a few minutes and jumped into the air, projecting his ki at the ground, sure enough he stayed in air. "WHOH!!! THIS IS COOL!!!" He yelled as he did an in air summersault. He started to laugh at attempted o project himself down snake way. After a few bad attempts involving a few crashes, a couple scarps and a close call at landing in the home for infinite losers he started off in the direction of King Kai's planet at a moderate speed.  
  
"This sure beats walking" he noted as he rocketed down the twisting path. "I could get used to this."  
  
*********************  
  
Six days later.  
  
Vegeta stopped flying as he saw a small planet and the end of Snake way, just in the distance. He laughed and jumped into the air clicking his heels in delight. "I MADE IT!!!" He fired up his flying ability and shot towards the planet. "YEEEEHAAAAAHH!! I MADE IT!!!" He came to a halt just before the miniature planet and remembered the gravity. *I should approach it sort of slow and try to land gently. * He thought as he floated towards the orb.  
  
He slowly made his way to the ground, using more and more ki to keep himself from crashing into the side of the rock. *Slowly, slowly. * He thought as he felt the ground beneath his feet. He stopped projecting ki and stood straight up with only minor difficulty. "Not so bad. Man, Goku must have been a wimp not being able to stand on this planet. Vegeta attempted a step and was sucked, like a vacuum, straight to the ground.  
  
"Oh man, that hurts." He groaned as he attempted to push himself off of the side of the planet and onto his feet.  
  
Then a voice called out, kind of nasal, but familiar to Evan. "henh henh." The voice laughed as Evan felt footsteps approaching him. "Finally someone pays respect to me." He voice started laughing again.  
  
Evan laughed, "Hi King Kai. How are you today?"  
  
King Kai stopped, "A yes. You must be Evan, The one who was trapped in another's body. Correct?"  
  
"Yes, that's me, and you should be glad I got stuck in this body." Evan replied with a strain in his voice.  
  
King Kai looked interested. "Oh, and why would that be Evan?" Evan attempted to shrugged but hurt himself instead and let out a yelp of pain.  
  
"ARGH!!" He yelled, gritting his teeth. "Because. this one. would have caused some nuisance to Earth and put some innocents up here when they could be living. And we wouldn't want overcrowding would we?"  
  
King Kai laughed. "Hey. You just passed the test. You made me laugh. Now shall we start with your training, or do you think you should adjust to the gravity here first?"  
  
Evan screamed and projected ki at the ground, straightening himself in front of King Kai. He grunted roughly. "Let's begin."  
  
King Kai seemed surprised that such a small boy could have that much control over his ki and was silent for a second. "First, you must catch Bubbles." Evan shrugged, this time not hurting himself.  
  
"That could take some doing but I'll try it." Then Bubbles ran up beside the large catfish of a man named King Kai and eeped once.  
  
"Ok, begin." The Kai said and started back to his house to steep a pot of tea.  
  
"ALRIGHT MONKEY!! YOUR MINE!!!" Evan lunged at the simian and projected more ki at the ground, making him fly farther but still missing the monkey, who easily evaded. "Damn monkey." Evan muttered and then remembered his own tail and laughed. "I just dissed myself." He said between laughs.  
  
Bubbles turned around and noticed that Evan was no longer attempting to catch him and climbed the only tree on the planet and picked an apple and started to eat. Evan got an evil grin.  
  
He aimed one hand at the tree and started to charge a small shot of ki at it while powering up enough to fly over and grab the monkey before it knew what was going on.  
  
Evan crawled closer to the tree and cradled the half-formed ball of ki in one hand while using all of his remaining strength to push himself into a jumping position. "heh heh heh." Evan laughed silently as he aimed the blast at the top of the tree so not to destroy King Kai's tree, only a portion of it.  
  
Evan released the blasted and launched himself at Bubbles at about the same time, the blast hitting the tree and knocking Bubbles out of it and Evan catching Bubbles before the monkey even hit the ground. "GOT YA!!!" He yelled as he grasped the chimp with every last ounce of strength he could muster.  
  
King Kai walked out of the house and almost jawdropped. "HOW COULD YOU!?!? YOU HAVEN'T EVEN ADJUSTED TO THE GRAVITY!!!" Evan just smiled and released the confused simian.  
  
"I call it strategy. You should look into it." He laughed a bit and soon King Kai and Bubbles joined in.  
  
"Well you passed this round of training, but the next trial will be much more difficult. You have to." Evan cut him off.  
  
"Give me the hammer and point me towards Gregory." King Kai literally jawdropped this time.  
  
"How the heck did you know that!?!?" He asked in utter confusion,  
  
"Anime. In my world you are just an anime character." King Kai pondered this.  
  
"So you know exactly what will happen before it happens here?"  
  
"Not quite. You see, my being here may throw the entire continuum off. But I'm trying to stay out of Goku's life until absolutely necessary. Like when Radditz comes."  
  
King Kai nodded, "Then this world owns you thanks for saving us." Evan nodded.  
  
"I guess they do don't they. Now on to Gregory." King Kai shook his head.  
  
"First, we eat." Evan's stomach growled in agreement.  
  
"I guess that's a yes from Vegeta. Let's eat!!"  
  
******************  
  
two weeks later.  
  
Vegeta/Evan had adjusted nicely to the gravity and had been hunting the evasive cricket for two days now. Mallet in hand he silently stalked the small planet over and over. He had grown much more muscular because of this invigorating game of cricket chasing.  
  
"Here Gregory. Come here Gregory. I don't want to bash you with this over sized hammer. No of course not. I just want to give you some nice warm tea King Kai made you." Evan called out hoping to get the insect's interest.  
  
Sure enough a small bug head pooped out from the tree and looked Vegeta over, "Hey, you don't have tea!" He squeaked as Evan prepared a mallet strike.  
  
"No. But I have MALLET!!" Evan swung the large hammer at the bug who skimmed off the side and off around the other side of the planet. "DAMN BUG!! I WILL HIT YOU!!"  
  
"No you won't!" a small voice responded from the other half of the planet.  
  
Vegeta's eyes narrowed. "damn bug." He muttered as he sat down to think up a strategy to hit this bug.  
  
*Tried tricking him, probably won't work again. Hmm, what to do with a bug. * "AH HA!!" Vegeta triumphantly yelled as he rushed to King Kai's house and rummaged through the pantry till he found some sugar. *Ants are drawn to sugar, why not crickets. * "heh heh heh. * Vegeta laughed as he walked out side and began humming a happy tune, spreading sugar in a line up to the tree and putting a large patch right underneath the shade of the apple tree. *Cricket is going to die. *  
  
A few long hours of waiting and not moving, Gregory finally started to eat at the sugar. *Come my pretty, there is a large patch of the sweet stuff right here, underneath my mallet. *  
  
Gregory looked suspicious, not quite comprehending why there was a large row of sugar. He looked down the row and noticed a heaping pile of sugar and didn't question it. He ran at a high speed towards the granulated goodness and started feasting. Then, out of nowhere, a large, wooden mallet connected with the cricket's head, knocking him unconscious.  
  
Vegeta jumped from the tree where he had been hiding. "ONCE AGAIN EVAN IS VICTORIOUS!!!" then he pondered this for a minute. "Or am I now Vegeta? Hmm, I'll ask King Kai after I show him my latest conquest." Evan/Vegeta picked up the small bug and cradled it in his small arms. He then set out towards the house.  
  
In a few minutes Evan encountered King Kai with Gregory just starting to regain consciousness. "I got him good." Vegeta said proudly. "And I was wondering, am I Vegeta or Evan? Cause it's confusing me. I have traits of Vegeta and still retain my conscious memories." King Kai put a hand to his chin and thought about this for a second.  
  
"Well I'd say you're a bit of both." He stated in a sure of himself voice.  
  
Evan/Vegeta stared blankly at him, "Thanks. You are so much help."  
  
King Kai just shrugged. "I suppose you will be called Vegeta more often than Evan so I'd take on the name Vegeta just for simplicities sake." Vegeta thought about this.  
  
"Makes sense, seeing as that's what Nappa and Radditz will call me. Ok then, I am Vegeta." He looked himself over, "Not the Vegeta I hated during DBZ, but still Vegeta. Oh yeah! How will I get back without being wished back to life? I mean nobody knows me down there and If I remember correctly, the Dragonballs are few and far between."  
  
King Kai smiled. "That's the best part. I can contact Guru on Namek and have you wished back to Earth once you have finished some more heavy training." Vegeta looked optimistic.  
  
"Great!! That's some of the best news I've ever heard!!" He jumped up and down creating small craters due to the extensive gravity. He then looked down at his holes. "Oops. I have to fix that don't I?" King Kai nodded.  
  
******************  
  
Vegeta stood outside the house one week later, with one hand in the air, King Kai close beside him, coaching him in the art of the Spirit Bomb. "Focus Vegeta!! Focus!! Draw from life you have never seen, draw from the planets around you, draw from untapped power inside yourself!" The walking catfish yelled out.  
  
Vegeta groaned as he kept the 40 foot ball of ki floating above his head. "Uhh, King Kai. We've been at this four days now. Can't I get a break. I mean I know I'm dead but I still need sleep." King Kai took this moment of weakness and broke Vegeta down even more.  
  
"A BREAK!! WHEN YOU ARE FACING THE MOST POWERFUL VILLAIN IN THE UNIVERSE." Vegeta cut him off.  
  
"There will always. be one stronger." He grunted as the ball grew another good foot.  
  
King Kai was amazed. "You are wise, you know never to think yourself the best, because there is always one that will best you." Vegeta let out a strained laugh.  
  
"I'm just a kid King Kai. I can't be that wise."  
  
King Kai let out a throaty laugh. "You are the wisest 5 year old I have ever met. Perhaps it's the inner teenager." Vegeta laughed this time with more of a strain as he forced more ki into the large ball making it now about 50 feet in diameter.  
  
"How big did you want this thing? The universe is endless I know. but I can't reach that far." He stated with a small peep of a scream escaping his lips.  
  
King Kai sat down. "I know, I only want it to be about ten times bigger than my planet. That's ten times bigger than you have it now." Vegeta groaned.  
  
"You know Kai. You should start a torture business. you're a pro."  
  
King Kai lay down on his back. "I know, but only for you Vegeta."  
  
Vegeta forced a smile. "What are you intending to do with this anyway?" He asked curiously.  
  
Kai smiled broadly. "Well, with your power, in a few days lets just say I will have a nicer tan." He started laughing in his nasal way and Vegeta just stared at him.  
  
"Your making me create a Spirit Bomb sun!?!?" He almost tossed the ball aside in confusion and anger. "WHY?"  
  
"Because you can." King Kai calmly said as he hopped to his feet. "I'm going to put a kettle of tea on, you want some?" Vegeta nodded.  
  
"And can you throw some Chinese spices in there, cause that's the way I had it at home, and to tell the truth, I kind of miss it." Vegeta started reminiscing as King Kai nodded and made his way to the house.  
  
*I'm never going to see home again so I might as well live with it. Come on!! Don't even think about your past life!!" Vegeta scorned himself, *You are Vegeta now!! You don't have to act like him but at least get over the fact that your name isn't Evan any more, you have no siblings! So stop torturing yourself!! * Vegeta broke down into tears and fell to one knee, still keeping the sprit bomb afloat.  
  
A tear rolled down the Saiyan's face, he let it roll off his face and splash against the hard earth softening a small spot for a few seconds before it evaporated in the heat of the energy ball hovering over the planet, which unbeknownst to Vegeta was increasing greatly with his agony. A few more tears followed the first on a path down the young prince's face, with each one the bomb doubled, drawing from the pain of planets across the universe and beyond. Vegeta looked to the now incredibly bright sky and realised that the bomb was the right size and then some.  
  
"KAI!! GET OUT HERE!!" He yelled, still a slight sob in his voice. "I'M DONE!!"  
  
King Kai ran outside. "You're. not joking." King Kai was clearly amazed. "H- How did you." Vegeta looked almost proud of his tremendous accomplishment if not for the tear lines down his face.  
  
"Kai, I want to fast track my training, I have to get back to normal people. I need to have a social life other than you, a monkey and a talking cricket. It's not normal for a growing boy."  
  
"Ok Vegeta, I will teach you the rest through telepathy on Earth. I'm going to miss you. And please put the sun a bit away from the planet, it's really bright!" Kai said squinting his eyes and attempting to shield himself from the intense heat that amazingly didn't seem to affect the teenager in a child's body.  
  
"Sure thing Kai. We should get a telepathic bond so we can keep in touch. Plus I'll try to send you a few good fighters so you can show off to Grand Kai." Both Kai and Vegeta began laughing.  
  
After a bit Kai started to bond his mind to Vegeta's.   
  
Vegeta thought back to his mentor.  
  
Kai laughed mentally.  
  
Vegeta smiled, sending a wave of happiness to King Kai.  
  
King Kai laughed out loud, "You can't win em all Vegeta!" Vegeta smiled again.  
  
"Guess not Kai. Now are we going to get me alive or what!" He playfully yelled at his friend.  
  
"Sure, I'll get Guru on it. You can take a look around, say good bye to the guys and stuff." King Kai suggested.  
  
Vegeta nodded, "Call me back when the wish is about to be made Ok Kai?" The catfish-man nodded and Vegeta started to take a walk around the small planet.  
  
He approached Bubbles, "Hey buddy! Come here and give me a hug goodbye!!" The monkey lunged at the spiky haired boy and toppled him over, giving him a crushing hug, which Vegeta returned. The two then got up and pretended nothing had ever happened and soon after fell on their backs laughing. Gregory snuck up behind the pair with a bag of sugar a mallet.  
  
"It was a nice trick Vegeta." The small bug admitted, "It will be quiet without you here."  
  
Vegeta smirked, "Don't worry, I'll send a bunch of warriors up here to bash you with a hammer." Gregory looked worried.  
  
"Oh no, I wouldn't want to put you to any trouble." He stammered as he started to back away.  
  
Vegeta lunged at the bug and caught him in his arms, "I was joking Greggy. I won't send people to bash you!" Gregory sighed in relief. "I'll send people and King Kai will make them bash you!" Gregory squirmed out of the boy's grasp and rushed away trying to find a good hiding spot for later use. Vegeta turned back to Bubbles. "We didn't get to play around much Bubbles, but I'm sure I'll come back sometime, I mean I _am_ Vegeta, somebody has to want to kill me!" The monkey laughed and eeped back a conversation that Vegeta didn't understand.  
  
"Um sure Bubbles, what ever you just said." Vegeta mentally complained.  
  
Vegeta smiled and waved to Bubbles, He thought spoke as he started running towards the other side of the planet, using bits of ki to speed his retreat from the monkey.  
  
"Hi King Kai! I said my goodbyes and I'm ready to go! I'll miss you." Vegeta extended his hand for King Kai to shake, which he did.  
  
"It was nice training you Vegeta, you were one of my best students." Vegeta released Kai's hand and bowed before his tutor.  
  
"It was an honour being trained by you." He rose from his deep bow, and then added. "But we can still train telepathically." King Kai nodded, his eyes getting misty.  
  
"Guru says it's time to go. You will be exactly where your body was when you died."  
  
Vegeta nodded. "Ok. Oh, and about that, was my death accidental, or did you have a hand in it, cause I don't think I could use that much ki at such a young age." King Kai smiled.  
  
"Although I wanted you to be up here to train you for the coming troubles, I didn't play any part in your death. You did that quite well on your own." The spiky haired Saiyan shook his head as he remembered the incident at the warehouse.  
  
"I am quite the reckless kid eh?" King Kai nodded.  
  
Vegeta felt a tingling, much like at the 'catapult' before. "I guess this is goodbye for now, but I'll see you later."  
  
"Not too often I hope." Kai said with a chuckle.  
  
"No not too often." The a bright light rushed towards Vegeta, sucking him into it and spitting him outside of the warehouse which apparently had just been rebuilt and had a plaque with a copper engraving of his face and some writing on it.  
  
"Ok, that is weird. I wonder if I can visit my grave? Or did they bury me?" Vegeta shook his head to clear the questions and started to read the plaque.  
  
*This new Orange Star City warehouse is dedicated to the little boy with the tail, whose life was cut short when this building collapsed on him. God rest his soul. * Vegeta laughed, *God rest my soul indeed! I just seem to be immortal!! Who needs to wish for it when I can just body hop! * The young Saiyan started laughing loudly, which drew the attention of workers inside the warehouse.  
  
One of the men poked their head out and quickly pulled it back in. "You guys!" Came a slightly muffled voice from behind the large steel door. "I think I just saw a ghost!!" Some masculine groans of disbelief echoed out of the warehouse shortly after. "SERIOUS!! I SAW A GHOST OF THE KID!!"  
  
"What! The kid!?! The one who was killed at this very building?"  
  
"NO WAY!! Let me see!"  
  
A large amount of heads popped out the side of the half opened door, just to see a set of Saiyan armour lying on the ground.  
  
*heh, that'll keep em wondering for a while. Now then, I am trained so I can fight in that Kid's martial arts tournament. Then I will finally get my haircut! * Vegeta walked down the street and received many different remarks about him bearing a resemblance to the kid who had died over at the new warehouse.  
  
*Man these people take everything to heart! One little kid just happens to shoot the support beams out of a large building and get crushed and they make a massive deal out of it. One that lasts just over a month! * He approached the barbershop he had visited before and found the flyer for the tournament. *Well, better prepare. I don't want to disappoint the public with a bad battle do I? * Vegeta thought as he strolled casually towards the outskirts of the City and out into the farmlands. *I'll just train out here, what's the worst that could happen? *  
  
****************  
  
Author's notes: (well that's the first of many chapters of me being trapped in Vegeta's body. The fact that he, and Krillen, are my least favourite characters in the entire anime just happened to suit seeing how most people would go for one of their personal favourites, such as Goku or Trunks, or if you have seen Ranma ½ a lot of writers go into Ranma. Anyways, I wanted to point that out so you don't think I am liking this. I mean, it's not bad, but it's now Piccolo. Now if I was going easy on myself, that is who I would have chosen hands down. I mean the man, although there are no men in Namekian culture because of asexual reproduction, leads a hard life. First he, as Kami, gets rejected from the position of Earth Guardian, then he gets kicked out of his own body just because he is evil! IS THAT A CRIME!!. well it generally leads up to one or more crimes but now I'm contradicting myself. Anyway, he is booted from his body and then this little runt of a kid rips straight through his gut, forcing him to shoot of an egg, which becomes the Piccolo we know and love. Anyways he keeps getting his ass handed to him, and then he has to go through King Kai's madness! WILL THE EVILS NEVER STOP FOR THIS POOR SOUL!! But back to Spiritual Misadventures. I will be fighting in a tournament over in another district as you may have guessed, but before that there will be a complication, and a bit of a twist on the story. I think you'll enjoy it. Well see you when I get the next chapter done! BYE!)  
  
Agasaki Ishano e-mail- agasaki@crystal-tokyo.com website- 


	2. Chapter 2

Spiritual Misadventures  
By: Agasaki Ishano  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my ideas and myself, take them and die.  
  
"Speech" *Thoughts * _Emphasis _  
  
(My notes)  
  
Chapter Two: Practicing For The Tournament  
  
A young boy in a black jumpsuit walked down the dusty country road, singing at the top of his lungs. "ON THE ROAD AGAIN!!! OH!! I DON'T KNOW THIS SONG!! BUT I'LL SING IT ANYWAY!!! BLAH!!!BLAH BLAH BLAH!! SOMETHING THAT RYHMES WITH AGAIN!!!"  
  
He stopped singing as he eyed an empty wheat field. He shifted his eyes back and forth a few times and then hopped out into the field of wheat. The spiked haired kid started running to about the center of the field. Once again he shifted his eyes and then let out a deafening yell, suddenly a fiery blue aura engulfed him. He let his yell die down and his aura settled down a bit, small wisps of energy swirling around the small boy. He closed his large, expressive eyes and bowed his head slightly.  
  
The short Saiyan projected telepathically.  
  
A voice in his head responded shortly after.  
  
The boy nodded and his eyes snapped open, and he got into a stiff martial arts stance.   
  
Suddenly the boy's aura turned red and his muscled bulged and began growing at an incredible rate.  
  
Again the boy nodded, continuing to force his life energies into power for his rapidly growing frame. He stopped abruptly, feeling as though he would explode.   
  
Vegeta shrugged his shoulders in a halfhearted agreement.   
  
King Kai jokingly responded, Vegeta sighed.  
  
He thrust one hand in the air with a straining look on his face. *Last time I thought of home and sad things my Bomb expanded. Perhaps emotion fuels my attacks like It does the Super Saiyan transformation, which I haven't even bothered to try. Later. * He thought to him self as he brought up memories of rejection and anger from his past life. Pictures of almost failed report cards and teachers who didn't believe he would amount to anything flowed like water to his already 100-foot ball of ki. Only then did he begin attempting to actually draw ki from other life forces. Starting with the wheat around him and the farmers standing amazed in the neighbouring fields. His reach moved out, through and past Orange Star and out into the mountain range beyond.  
  
The young Saiyan braced himself on one knee as he realised how to shock the old Kai.  
  
He began to focus on the 'catapult' which he soon found had more than enough ki to spare. His 110-foot ball of ki rocketed in size multiplying itself by at least 100 every second, which was a little more than Vegeta had expected, or King Kai for that matter and he expressed himself quite loudly.  
  
Vegeta almost looked scared.  
  
Vegeta thought as he gazed at the quickly withering plants all around him. Vegeta projected as he stopped drawing from the 'catapult', which he mentally noted to use only for extreme situations.  
  
Vegeta waited for King Kai's answer as he shifted the 110000-foot diameter ball of pure blue ki to his other hand. Finally King Kai responded. Kai nervously joked.  
  
Vegeta nervously nodded, knowing that if he were even off by a second, millions of innocent lives would pay. Sweat dripped from the boy's brow as he anticipated his sensei's command. After a few seconds that seemed to drag forever Kai telepathically gave the command, Vegeta thrust both hands into the air and watched as the ball slowly moved upwards, increasing speed every few seconds.  
  
After about a minute the bomb was out of sight and Vegeta collapsed on the heat hardened ground. "That was freaken COOL!!" He yelled as he charged a small bal of ki and mocked it's massive forefather, shooting upwards at a slow speed and making jet noises as it disappeared into the stratosphere.  
  
Vegeta then held a hand to his chin. "I wonder if anyone saw my bomb in other countries? That would be cool! I'd be famous all over the place! This ki stuff is the best!!" He said as he flattened out on the field and stretched out, letting out a small yawn. "But it does make me kind of tired." the small boy said in a sleepy voice. "Well, I had better find a place to rest for the night."  
  
Vegeta rolled backwards, handsprung onto his feet and shot up into the air. "I wonder if it's kids stay free night at the Holiday Inn?" low whistling cut off the young Saiyan's train of thought and he noticed a glint on the horizon. "Now what the heck is that?" He said squinting to get a better look, "It seems to be going pretty fast."  
  
The glint turned into a silvery orb as it shot past Vegeta at an almost physically impossible speed. "HOLY!!!" Vegeta turned around, just catching sight of the orb crashing straight into the spot he had been resting only moments ago. "I could have seen King Kai again if I didn't fly." he mumbled amazed at his good fortune. "But what is that thing?" The spiky haired kid floated carefully down to the Earth and walked cautiously towards the large crater the orb has made.  
  
"Well I'll be a monkey's uncle. which I could have been if planet Vegeta wasn't so totalled." Vegeta laughed at his own joke and climbed down the steep slope towards the Saiyan space pod.  
  
"Now who could this be? Radditz isn't due for another good twenty years and Nappa is supposed to go with me after Radditz. It couldn't be Brolly. I don't think any other Saiyans were shown. Unless of course my being here screwed everything up so bad that they sent another kid. Hopefully it's a chick, cause I personally don't want to create Trunks. Damn bastard thinks he's better than his father." Vegeta approached the pod and kicked the door in.  
  
*No need for the subtle approach now, I already know it's one of my 'loyal followers'. * Vegeta thought as he ripped the door off the pod. *Well what do you know? It's exactly what I had hoped for! * Vegeta picked up a young female Saiyan in his arms and carried her up the slope of the crater, setting her down just outside of the hole. *She must be about my age, or maybe a bit older. Her hair isn't quite as spiky as mine though. It's kind of weird how it hangs normally at the back and spikes strangely at the front, I wonder why." He thought as the girl stirred from her hyper sleep.  
  
"Where am I? Shouldn't I be in my pod?" She thought out loud.  
  
"Nope. I got you out of the pod." The girl looked the young Saiyan over and her eyes went wide. Instantly she got to one knee and bowed her head.  
  
"Prince Vegeta, it is you. I-I was sent with a message, our planet has been destroyed along with all remaining Saiyan warriors. Your aides Radditzsu and Nappa are on course for this planet although it is believed that Nappa is in Frieza's clutches." Vegeta nodded.  
  
"You may rise." The female Saiyan did so, putting one hand on her slim waist. "I already know of our planet's destruction at the hands of Frieza. When do you think Radditz will be here? We may have use of his services."  
  
"He should arrive in approximately three years sire." Vegeta blinked.  
  
"Three years! Where was he?"  
  
The other Saiyan shrugged, "I believe he was on assignment with a raiding party over in another sector." Vegeta put a hand to his chin.  
  
"Ok, so that tells me when we will receive some backup. Now then, what is your name?" The girl looked confused.  
  
"Sire, I am Shira. The one you are engaged to." Vegeta's eyes bugged out.  
  
"ENGAGED!?!"  
  
"Yes sire, your father and mine decided that our combined genes would create powerful rulers."  
  
The young boy started to pace nervously. "Ok, so this is an arranged marriage correct?" Shira nodded, "And we would need a Saiyan minister of some sort right?" The girl shook her head.  
  
"According to a scouting report on this planet, the marriage ceremonies are almost identical to the ones on planet Vegeta."  
  
The black haired boy started to pace faster, his gravity training on Kai's planet showing as he moved back and forth at 40 miles per hour. "Ok, but we don't have the Saiyan vows." He said, brows furrowed, contemplating any ways to get out of a forced marriage.  
  
"Our fathers thought we might be stranded and sent the vows along with me. Vegeta what's wrong? Only months ago you had you heart set on marring me, and now it seems like you are a whole different person." She said as she stepped in the path of the speedy Saiyan, stopping his pacing. "Answer me Vegeta! Are you dedicated to me or not!"  
  
Vegeta looked shocked that such a young girl could have her mind made up about who she was going to marry. He looked her over, she was a beautiful young lady, but the fact that she was so young made him feel like a pervert and he averted his eyes. "I don't know Shira. I mean I am a different person in more ways than you know. give me time."  
  
"How are you different Vegeta? I want to help you, but I can't if you won't let me." She said, trying to win him over with kindness.  
  
Vegeta grabbed his head with his hands and ran his fingers through his hair, "Ok, I'll tell you! I am _NOT_ Vegeta. Well I am but I'm not. It's confusing." Shira smiled.  
  
"No worries Prince Vegeta, We will have a lifetime to figure it out." Vegeta leapt backwards a few feet and waved his hands as if attempting to stop his own murder.  
  
"NO!! You are not getting the point! I can't marry you!! I-I don't even know you!!" He stammered.  
  
Shira blinked and smiled cutely. "Oh master Vegeta, I have already told you. You have a lifetime to get to know me and I you." The spiky haired boy rolled his eyes and caught his head in his hands.  
  
"_Women_!" he muttered as he shook his head. "Look, we are both way to young to even think about marriage. I mean in this body I'm only like five and you can't be any more than that right?" Shira nodded.  
  
"Five and a half sire."  
  
Vegeta put his hands on his temples and closed his eyes as if trying to rid himself of a bad head ache. "Stop calling me sire!" Shira looked confused.  
  
"Then what should I call my prince?" She asked, pushing back a strand of hair from her deep blue eyes.  
  
"My name is Vegeta. You can call me that. I honestly don't care if you call me Vegetable cause that's what I used to call me on occasion." Shire snickered.  
  
"Vegetable, that's funny." Vegeta rubbed his temples again.  
  
"Yeah, hilarious. Now then, I can't marry you. I mean I don't love you and I would think that love would have some sort of worth on the home planet, right?" Shira nodded.  
  
"Love is for the weak Vegeta. Your own father taught me that. Don't get attached to anything because it could die the next day, live for the moment and nothing more." The male Saiyan tapped his fingers against his cranium.  
  
"Man, us Saiyans are dumb. I mean love used to be all that I cared about. Finding the one that I could stand to be with for the rest of my, unfortunately cut short life. I say we need to re-educate you, first; love _is_ important in a marriage arranged or not. Second; You are cute and all, but I cannot marry you for reasons I'd rather not delve into. Third; . I'll think of more later." Shira seemed to jot these notes down, wording all of them shortly after Vegeta spoke them.  
  
Vegeta started walking in circles, trying to think of what he was attempting to do before this marriage freak popped out of the sky and would have killed him had he not moved. "Ok, right now I need sleep. I'll salvage some farms around here and build a shack. I'm going to go do that. You, I don't know. It's a free planet, do whatever." He pushed some ki towards the ground and surveyed the area for abandoned farms. He spotted a broken down farm only a short distance away and shot off in that direction leaving Shira to do what she would. *Man! That chick is freaken weird. I mean 'the one you are engaged to.' GEEZE! I wouldn't be surprised if she was following me now, she obsessed or something. It's some weird stuff Vegeta had to go through as a kid. * Vegeta thought as he stopped and scanned the horizon for his follower. He couldn't see her, but he sensed her ki signature somewhere below him. He waited a moment and homed in on it, then dropped down exactly in front of her.  
  
"What are you doing?" He asked her with a hint of irritation in his voice.  
  
Shira looked surprised at her prince, "Well I'm helping you, but I can fly so I ran below you." Vegeta laughed.  
  
"So you're that dedicated?" The girl nodded. "Alright then. Grab hold of me and I'll give you a lift." She did so without question, holding tightly to his shoulders and smiling from ear to ear. Vegeta attempted to hold back a smile of his own and launched himself and his passenger into the air. Taking a slow turns to reach the destination of the broken down barn. He set down lightly and Shira lingered to let go. Vegeta smiled. "Let's grab some wood and go K?" girl adjusted her Saiyan armour and nodded.  
  
"Ok! But can you teach me how to fly after we're done our house?" Vegeta brushed a hand through his large, spiky hair and nodded. "YEAH!! THANKS A LOT!!!" Shira jumped up and down and Vegeta couldn't help but notice that the girl was oddly already 'budding' and seemed to have been doing so for a good year.  
  
*Ok, we Saiyans must have a lot of chicks with big hooters, cause if this is a five and a half year old, twenty year old must be Pamela huge! * Vegeta thought as he started to instinctively scratch the back of his neck.  
  
Shira started punching down boards and tossing them into a pile before the young boy. "I feel like I'm about to be burned at the stake." He muttered as he slowly walked towards the barn and cracked his knuckles to prepare. "Um, Shira, stand back." He said as he got into a stiff fighting stance, arms and legs spread. *I'm going to have to break this building down myself, Shira just isn't fast enough. * He thought as he focused a small amount of ki to get his strength up a bit.  
  
"HAA!!!" He screamed as he lunged at the building, tearing straight through one side and out the other with minimal effort. Vegeta landed on his feet and within a second the barn fell into pieces. "Done." He stated as he turned to face a shocked Shira.  
  
"V-Vegeta, how did." She stared blankly at her would be fiancé.  
  
"Kai training. One of the perks of this universe, plus the fact that we Saiyans grow stronger after recovering from near or complete death." He said, brushing some splinters out of his long hair. "Guess I wasn't fast enough." He muttered as he examined a longer splinter.  
  
Shira just stared, "Next thing you'll be going Super Saiyan." She nervously joked, "Haven't already. have you?" Vegeta shrugged.  
  
"Haven't bothered to try."  
  
"WHA!!! I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE MOST INPORTANT THING IN THE UNIVERSE TO YOU!!!" She screamed in utter shock.  
  
"Nope, not big on my priority list. But I guess I could give it a run now." Vegeta resumed his stiff fighting stance and closed his eyes. *I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this for a while, at least till Cell anyways. * He thought as he pumped ki through his body.  
  
*I guess the whole emotions thing could do the trick, I mean Goku went SSJ a short period of time after Frieza killed Krillen, so why can't it work for me? *  
  
Vegeta focused on his anger at being killed and put in this body and then being killed again, he focused on the broken 'catapult', and the fact that he won't be able to see his family ever again. This brought screams of rage and tears of sorrow, but more than that, it brought the desired effect. Wisps of blue ki turned yellow and shrouded him for a quick second, then his ki settled as he opened his eyes, feeling like he could take on the world he reached up and touched his hair. It felt thicker, he pushed it down to inspect it and was pleased to see that it was a golden yellow in hue. "Hey, this is pretty cool."  
  
Vegeta smiled as he held one hand up and aimed at a barn a short distance away. "Hope it's empty." He focused a bit of ki to his hand and found that there wasn't the resistance that he had once had as a normal Saiyan. A straight beam of pure yellow energy flung forward from the young boy's hand, turning the barn he aimed at into a cloud of dust that flew away in the wind. "Crazy. This is fun." Vegeta launched himself into the air and did a flip. "WAHOOO!!"  
  
Shira just stared at the boy. *How did he do that? It takes lot's and lot's of training to become a Super Saiyan, plus there is only one every thousand years. Well it's about the right time, but how can he just calmly go, 'I guess I could give it a run'!!! ARGH!! * Vegeta stopped flying and remembered his follower.  
  
"Hey, I promised you a flying lesson didn't I? Let's go!!" He called out cheerily.  
  
"You know what, forget the lesson!" Shira angrily yelled at the Super Saiyan.  
  
Vegeta hovered down in front of her, not touching the ground so he could make an escape if she tried to beat him up. "What? Mad because I can go Super Saiyan? Good. It will help you go Super Saiyan too." He floated a bit higher and flattened out onto his stomach and hovered around.  
  
"WHAT!! I can't just go Super Saiyan! It takes years of practice and dedication!" Vegeta started to laugh.  
  
"Man!! That is the funniest thing ever!! I. A five year old. Just went Super Saiyan and you tell _me_ it takes years of dedication? It's called emotional ki! Look into it. I'm going to build the hut. Do you want two rooms or one?" He asked with a laugh still lingering on his lips.  
  
Shira brightened up at the thought of sleeping in the same room as her betrothed. "Better make it one. Seems like it could get cold, so we could get a fire going and it wouldn't take as long to heat one room as it would two."  
  
Vegeta nodded, "Good thinking." He flew down to the woodpile and speedily built the outline of a hut.  
  
The hut consisted of four upright boards, held in place by smaller angled boards, and had planks set up to hold the upright boards in place like frames.  
  
"We are sleeping in _that_?" Shira asked as she pointed at the skeleton of a hut Vegeta had built.  
  
"It's not done yet, I have to plan it out first." He said as he examined the planks he had set up as roof boards.  
  
He eyed the shelter, powered a small ki ball in one hand and got to fusing boards together to make decent sized walls of straight planks, he proceeded to create five such walls, each about 20' by 20'.  
  
"Hey Shira, hold this one up to the outline please?" he asked the girl as he held out a wall in one hand and pointed to one of the frames.  
  
Shira grabbed the wall, struggled with it for a minute and carefully set it up against the frame Vegeta had pointed to. "Ok, now what?" She asked, breathing a bit heavy from the exertion.  
  
"That one there." He said, pointing to another wall and frame as he fused the first wall to it's frame.  
  
Shira shrugged. *I guess we have to use teamwork, and he is the only one who can fuse these things together, so I guess I get the grunt work. * She heaved a wall upright and slid it against the second frame. "GOT IT!" She yelled.  
  
"Do the next one." Came Vegeta's raspy voice from the other side of the hut.  
  
"Ok!!" She yelled as she lifted another wall into place.  
  
After half an hour the shack was completed, A hole had been cut in the top to release the smoke, and a door had been created all through Vegeta's ki control.  
  
"Night Vegeta." Shira said sleepily as she rolled over on the hard ground.  
  
"Goodnight." He said, still quite awake. *I completed one day without dieing, I'd say that's a step in the right direction. * He joked to himself. *But I still don't understand everything that's happening. Vegeta never mentioned a fiancé in DBZ, so why is there one now? And what was with that catapult!?! I mean, it was like a broken 'go to the light' and it has almost endless ki to tap into. I mean, all I need is that power source and it's like a gigantic battery, I'll just keep going and going. * Vegeta rested his head on his arm and closed his eyes. *I'll question everything in the morning. *He thought as he slowly fell to sleep.  
  
**************  
  
The next morning Vegeta was awoken by the sounds of a fight outside the shack. He rolled over quickly a noticed that Shira wasn't there. "CRAP!! Shira's out there fighting what ever it is that's out there!" He quickly transformed into a Super Saiyan and shot out of the wooden hut.  
  
"HIYAH!!" Shira screamed as she cut a board clean in two. Vegeta stopped dead in his tracks, his jaw hanging open.  
  
"I rushed out here for this." He mumbled as he stared at the girl breaking another board.  
  
Shira turned to the boy, "Oh. Hi Vegeta!" She cheerily greeted her companion. "Um, what are you Super Saiyan for?"  
  
Vegeta, shook his head, the golden hair fading to black, "Um. I. was trying to see how long I could hold Super Saiyan level 1 for. you know, so I can go Super Saiyan level two." Shira looked at the boy strangely.  
  
"Super Saiyan level two? That's only a myth Vegeta. Just because you can go Super Saiyan doesn't mean you can deify reality." She stated as she got back into a combat stance.  
  
"Yeah, well I didn't think people could fly but." He started as he began to hover in the air. "I guess I was wrong wasn't I?" Shira turned and gave him a weird look.  
  
"Vegeta, you are really strange. Your father could fly couldn't he?" Vegeta shrugged, "Oh right, your not really Vegeta. You must have hit your head when you landed Vegeta, cause you have really been weirding me out lately."  
  
Vegeta shook his head. "You know what. I don't want to explain it now, but later you will understand, just about the time I figure out exactly what is going on. But for now, I'm going into town to." Shira cut him off.  
  
"I know, you have to destroy the villagers it's your mission. Or do you remember that?" Vegeta raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Actually I was going to find some food. Um, bye." Vegeta floated higher so that Shira's voice was to distant to hear. *Man, she is weird. Destroy the villagers! Grraaah!! SHIRA SMASH!!! * He mentally joked as he floated towards the town at a slow speed, taking his time and enjoying the view.  
  
*Well, I might as well try to figure out what is going on, cause I won't have much else to do until the tournament. OK, recap. First, I was shot taking lethal damage to the cranium and getting my innards spread across a local cards and comics shop. Second, I am put on a weird broken catapult thingy that has vast amounts of energy, which I have found I can tap into. Third, I am trapped inside of Vegeta's body, not something I like but It's better than Krillen. And finally I am told that I am engaged to someone I do not know. Oh I forgot that I died. Ok, It makes no sense. * Vegeta looked down to the cityscape below him. *Well I'm here. Time to find a quick and logical method of receiving consumable goods. * He thought as he touched down just outside of Orange Star city.  
  
Vegeta pondered for a second, *Perhaps there are underground fighting tournaments. I mean, they had them in Street Fighter why wouldn't another anime based around fighting have such a thing? * He thought as he began strolling through the city, looking for any telltale signs of fighting arenas.  
  
After thirty minutes of such searching he came across an abandoned warehouse from which jeers and rowdy yells were emanating from. *Well, there is a good chance that _this_ is an underground arena. * The young Saiyan thought as he pushed aside some rotted planks to reveal a gathering of men and women surrounding a worn down ring.  
  
His entrance clearly raised interest in the group, utterances of questions about what the boy thinks he's doing here and is he lost echoed throughout the crumbling building. Finally a large, muscular man approached the youth, eying his tail suspiciously.  
  
"Excuse me laddy?" He said in a thick Scottish accent, "But do you know where you are?" The youth nodded and walked around the large man, calmly weaving through the crowd to the ring where to bleeding men stood catching their breath.  
  
"Ladies and Gents, I have an offer." This bought the attention of all in the area. "I challenge the strongest one of you in here to a match." This got laughter.  
  
Vegeta shook his head. "So none of them are man enough." He stated, shutting the crowd up. The large Scot from before stood up. He walked up to the young Saiyan and put a hand on his shoulder. "Look lad, I don't know what yer trying to prove, but these boys will rip ye apart." Vegeta smiled.  
  
"Bring em'" He said, broadening his grin. The Scot shook his head.  
  
"What ever you say lad. What ever you say." He stepped into the center of the ring and started to announce.  
  
"ALLRIGHT BOYO'S!! THIS WEE MAN WISHES TO TAKE ON THE STRONGEST OF YE!!" Vegeta tapped the Scot's side.  
  
"Make it two. I want a challenge." The Scot smiled.  
  
"MAKE IT TWO OF YE!! WHO'S IN?" Hands shot in the air.  
  
Vegeta tapped the man's side again, "Can I get some money out of this?" the Scot nodded.  
  
"If ya win lad, you get 10,000 yen. 20,000 for the both of em." Vegeta's smile grew.  
  
"Great."  
  
**************  
  
Vegeta squared off with two almost identical Japanese men, using the same fighting pose and style. The young Saiyan snapped into a loose stance and motioned for the pair to bring it. The two men responded eagerly lunging at the boy, hoping to end it in one swift move. Vegeta smiled and leapt over the pair, pushing their heads into a collision course underneath his legs as he passed. The two shook their heads and hopped to their feet simultaneously. Vegeta switched to the offensive and launched a flying kick at one of the pair's head, spinning as he dodged to connect with the second man's jaw. Vegeta felt the bone snap cleanly into two pieces, he watched the man drop, holding his jaw, trying not to scream. The Saiyan felt a rush of pleasure out of the fight, breaking the second man's arm with a well- placed elbow. Both men retreating from the ring in pain, leaving the boy alone with a few small puddles of their blood, *That ended to quickly. * "NEXT!" ****************  
  
Vegeta stepped down from the beaten up old ring and twenty-four unconscious bodies thirty minutes later. He approached a large man. "That's all of em." He noted as he held out his hand. The large man shook his head and pulled out a large wad of cash, which the youth proceeded to flip through.  
  
"You know what kid." He said in a large Scottish accent, "Me and you could go places, with your fighting style and my ability to get people to fight you and all." Vegeta nodded, his hair waving as he his moved.  
  
"Ok, you're on, you manage and I kick ass. It's a deal Ian!" He said as he extended a hand to Ian, who shook it gratefully.  
  
"Great!! Then can I have my money back?" Vegeta shook his head.  
  
"No." The large Scot hung his head.  
  
"But you're only a wee lad. What would you do with the 270,000 yen?" Vegeta pondered.  
  
"Well, I think I might buy a house when I'm done, and houses don't come cheap around here. I'm thinking, if I keep this rate of income going for about four more days, I'll have my house." He said nodding his head slowly. "Yup, and then I'm buying a big screen T.V and a Nintendo, normal of course." Ian just stared at him.  
  
"Yer telling me that yer gonna buy a house, a big screen T.V, and then a _normal_ Nintendo?" Vegeta nodded.  
  
"That's about the size of it." Ian put a hand on his forehead.  
  
"What have I got myself into?" he moaned.  
  
*****************  
  
Back at the farm field Shira had begun to worry, *Where is he? I mean, getting food doesn't take that long. I could have destroyed the town in this period of time. Unless. he abandoned me. * Tears welled up in her eyes, but she shook them away. *Saiyans _don't_ cry! * She scorned herself. *I'll look for him tommorow if he isn't back. And if he did abandon me, he will be sorry. *  
  
*****************  
  
*I feel kind of bad for deserting Shira, but it had to be done. She was freaking me out, destroy this, and destroy that. Man, talk about a broken record. Oh well, now I have a place in this trippy world, I am a fighter. Finally, a fun job! * He thought as he leafed through his winnings. *I've got a good bit of cash here. I wonder if the bank will believe that a five year old got this legally? * He considered as he strolled up to a local bank, still counting his money.  
  
Suddenly two men with greasy, slicked back hair and tight leather clothing hopped out of the bushes and held two identical switchblades to Vegeta's face. "OK kid! Give us your money or face the consequences!"  
  
Vegeta laughed, "You couldn't hurt a fly you wuss. Besides, you don't know who your messing with." He said as he grabbed the blade of one of the men and snapped it in half. "Do you care to find out, or will you be running now?"  
  
The man whose blade had been broken looked to his companion, "Um Slick, he just broke my knife. Should we go now?"  
  
Slick shook his head, "No way Greasy, we gotta show this kid some respect! Sides, he's only a kid."  
  
Greasy nodded, "Yeah! Your right Slick! We can take him!" He said, throwing his broken knife down and cracking his knuckles.  
  
Vegeta smirked, "What ever. Tell you what, If you can jump higher than me, I'll give you the money straight out." Slick and Greasy pondered this for a minute.  
  
"He must be crazy Slick, everyone knows I won my grade two high jump championship." Greasy said.  
  
Slick looked at Greasy strangely. "I thought you won grade three."  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
"Sure kid, you're on!"  
  
Vegeta smiled, "Good, cause I wouldn't want to kill anyone on a nice day like today."  
  
Slick and Greasy looked at the boy for a second, then simultaneously grabbed their stomachs and began rolling on the ground with laughter. Vegeta just looked at the pair with boredom weighing heavily in his eyes. All of a sudden the pair snapped to their feet and combed their hair back. "You ready to lose kid?"  
  
"I guess. Though it hasn't been decided who has won yet." Vegeta stated, completely stoic.  
  
"Yeah, well you're gonna lose! So there!!" Slick yelled, putting his thumb at the tip of his nose and wiggling his fingers at Vegeta.  
  
"Yeah!! There!!" Greasy followed, doing the same action as Slick.  
  
"Oh God." Vegeta moaned, as he waited for the immature adults to calm down and get the show on the road.  
  
Once again, the pair snapped to attention, combing back their thick, greasy hair. "Ok, Slick you go first." Greasy offered.  
  
"Alright Greasy! I'll show this kid!" He said, crouching low to the ground for maximum spring in his legs.  
  
Slick launched up like a rocket, going a total of five feet vertical before stopping and falling to the ground and landing on his feet.  
  
"Yeah Slick!" Greasy cheered as he gave his friend a high five. "I'll go next!"  
  
Vegeta shrugged. "Whatever floats your boat." This got stares of confusion from both thieves. "Just go." The pair nodded.  
  
Greasy crouched to the ground. "OK kid, your going down!" he growled as he seemed to be exerting a lot of force, like he was powering up. Vegeta barely kept from laughing.  
  
Greasy flew into the air, obviously not caring about the landing and more on the height as he went six feet vertical and fell to the ground head first, bouncing of the pavement and onto his feet, seemingly unscathed. "Must be the hair." Vegeta muttered.  
  
"Your turn kid." The pair said looming around the young Saiyan, who responded with a shrug.  
  
"Alright." He said, barely flexing his leg and shooting over the two thieves and in through the open doors of the bank. "I win." He stated not turning around to see the annoyed faces of Slick and Greasy.  
  
"He got us this time, but that's cause he cheated! Next time kid, we will win. Right Greasy?" Slick said with anger in his voice.  
  
Greasy nodded, glaring at the boy's back evilly. "That's right Slick, next time."  
  
***************  
  
End.  
  
Author's notes: (Well, that was interesting, I made some new enemies. They are not as bad as Goku's, I mean he has the Red Ribbon army after him, I've just got two ugly thieves. Anyway, catch me next time! Ciao!)  
  
Agasaki Ishano; agasaki@crystal-tokyo.com Web site; 


	3. Chapter 3

Spiritual Misadventures  
By: Agasaki Ishano  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my ideas and myself, take them and die.  
  
"Speech" *Thoughts * _Emphasis _  
  
(My notes)  
  
Chapter Three: The Tournament  
  
Vegeta walked up to the sign up booth a week later. "Name and age please." The burly man behind the desk demanded.  
  
"Vegeta, 5 years old." The Saiyan casually responded.  
  
"Last name son?"  
  
*Last name. Uhhhh. Mind numbing. * The young warrior thought as he scratched the back of his head pensively. "Kakorotte."  
  
"Vegeta Kakorotte?" Vegeta nodded. "Alright then boy. Please go to the punch-testing machine to see what level you will fight in." The burly man said as he motioned for the next fighter to step forward.  
  
Vegeta walked up to the punch-testing machine, looking bored with the display of fighters around him, when suddenly one of the youths shoved the Saiyan to the side.  
  
"Hey punk!! Watch where you're going!" Vegeta yelled, getting the boy's attention.  
  
"Or what?" He asked savagely.  
  
"I never said or else retard." Vegeta retorted.  
  
"A wise guy eh?"  
  
"I suppose that's correct. My wisdom does far surpass your's."  
  
"Wha. We'll settle this in the arena!" The boy said, unable to come up with a witty remark to match Vegeta's last one.  
  
"That went well." The Saiyan thought out loud as he approached the punch- tester machine.  
  
"Alright son. Now you just go on an punch this here thing." The man at the punch-tester said in a stereotypical hick voice. "An this here do-hicky is gonna tell ya'll what yer strength be."  
  
"In English perhaps?" Vegeta said, as he gave off a look of total confusion.  
  
"Does ya'll want for me to repeat myself?"  
  
"No. I'll just hit the button and attempt to forget what you said." The hick nodded. *How do carny's get to work in a fighting tournament. Maybe it's the aspect of the punch-tester. I mean it does bear resemblance to the hammer game at fairs. * Vegeta thought as he pictured the hammer game being played by chibi people. *Odd. And disturbing. *  
  
Vegeta tapped the machine, still not thinking about anything but the disturbing pictures of chibi people playing the hammer game.  
  
"200!! That there score ain't not possible!!" The carny person screamed, clutching his cranium in disbelief.  
  
"Double negative. Therefore it is possible. What isn't possible is that carny's can get work. At all, fairs or fighting tournaments." Vegeta stated, still imagining chibi people playing the hammer game.  
  
The young Saiyan shook the disturbing mental pictures from his mind "So, am I in?"  
  
The carny nodded, seeming afraid of the young boy. "Yes sir ya'll is in. Now just you go over to that their booth and get a blood sample." Vegeta shivered.  
  
*Ehh. I despise of needles! But I suppose it's for the tournament so they can tell if I'm not on drug, and that's good cause I don't want to be fighting a crack head! Crack heads freak me out. * Vegeta shivered again and made his way over to the booth.  
  
************  
  
Thirty minutes and two orderlies later. "Well that wasn't so bad." Vegeta smiled as he surveyed the chaos he had caused while the blood test guy was attempting to get a sample. Tables were overturned, two men lay unconscious at his feet and the blood test guy's left arm was broken in two. "Not bad at all." He mused as he walked out into the fray, the other fighters backing slowly away creating a full circle around the Saiyan prince.  
  
Vegeta waved and half the crowd flinched. *Cool. I am a God to these under developed people. *  
  
"Excuse me? Does anyone know who I fight first?" Vegeta asked, raising his voice just enough to be heard by all around.  
  
The young fighters all looked nervous. Mutterings of, 'Oh man, I hope I'm out of the tournament before I fight that guy' and prayers of 'Please not me!' rang throughout the gathering area. Finally the burly man from the sign in desk walked into the circle.  
  
"FIRST FIGHT! VEGETA KAKOROTTE V.S LIN SHONG!! FIGHTERS ENTER THE RING!!"  
  
Vegeta shrugged. *This guy should be easy. Who names their kid Lin, must have hippie parents, and I have been waiting to kick some hippie ass. why did I want to kick hippie ass again? * He attempted to remember as he entered the ring.  
  
The crowd cheered as Lin stepped onto the stone fighting arena. "You." Vegeta growled as he recognized the boy as the one he had bumped into earlier.  
  
"IN THIS CORNER!! WEIGHING 80 POUNDS, CHAMPION FOR THREE YEARS STRAIGHT!! LIN SHONG !!!" The crowd cheered like there was no tomorrow and this guy could give them that extra day Vegeta raised an eyebrow.  
  
*Three years? He must be decent then. I'll try him without ki blasts or flying and maybe I'll cut back on the speed. * Vegeta thought, trying to make the fight a little more even.  
  
"AND IN THIS CORNER!!!. VEG. E. TA. KACEROOT!!!! WEIGHING 85 POUNDS!!!"  
  
*Note to self, kill announcer in the heat of battle. No one expects a stray ki blast. Hehe. *  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU SMILING ABOUT!?!!" Lin screamed from the other side of the arena.  
  
"FIGHT!!!" The announcer screamed as a gong went off.  
  
Lin rushed at the smiling Saiyan and planted his hardest punch against the boy's chest. An auditable crack rang throughout the arena.  
  
Both boy's stood there for a second that seemed to drag on for hours. Vegeta smiling and Lin's face turning blue and his eyes expanding in pain and surprise.  
  
"OOOOUUCCCHHHIIIIEEEEEE!!!!" Lin screamed. "I BROKE MY HAND!!!! I SURRENDER!!!!" Vegeta gazed off into space smiling then he muttered.  
  
"he, stray ki blast will do just fine. huh. have we started?" Vegeta looked down at Lin, who was holding his hand in agony, then he looked to the side of the arena and noticed some paramedics rushing up the steps towards Lin. "Wow, I guess I won. I hope someone videotaped that, cause I want to see what I did. Maybe King Kai would know."  
  
The paramedics and Lin looked at the boy in wonder and shook their head simultaneously then rushed Lin to the medic.  
  
King Kai's voice rang clearly through Vegeta's head a short second later.  
  
King Kai seemed to ponder this for a minute.   
  
Vegeta enthusiastically thought.  
  
Kai warned.  
  
Vegeta began walking calmly off the arena floor,   
  
Kai thought as he closed the link.  
  
**************  
  
Four hours later Vegeta stood atop a podium with a gold metal around his neck and a bouquet under his right arm.  
  
*I feel like a figure skater. this is bad. I want to fly now, but I can't or they might not give to me their money!! * He thought, the last part in a bad Italian accent  
  
A buff looking man approached Vegeta and extended a hand. Vegeta shook it firmly. Some cameras flashed and the man motioned for a scrawny little man with thick glasses to come forward form the crowd around the podium. The little man came up in front of Vegeta and extended his hand which Vegeta shook lightly, so as not to injure the fellow.  
  
The man smiled. "On behalf of the president of Chubba Chunkies Chicken noodle soup, I present you with this." Man said as two scantily clad women came dancing out of a van with a large piece of cardboard.  
  
Vegeta looked a bit shooked. "Doesn't the president of Chunka crackfiends chacka nuddle soup know that strippers are not for kids? I honestly don't mind, but if I had lost, would one of these poor boys be exposed to the hardships of our sex and greed driven world at such a ripe age. The thought of this almost makes me want to turn down a night with the two lovely dancing chicks and their oversized cardboard bed. Note that I did say almost."  
  
The scrawny man just stared at the boy and the two scantily clad dancing girls ceased their dancing and became normal scantily clad girls. "What are you talking about?" The man asked.  
  
"I know this is an Asian land and pornography is allowed in any form, but public and child don't mix my friend! No!! I say NO!! NO to your scantily clad women who I hope will be screaming yes later but not now! No to your cardboard bed though it is probably more comfortable than a steel one that has been rubbed with dry ice and pissed on by a thousand cats! No to your public nudity!! Just plain NO on that last one because NO! And No explains it all!!! And then some." Vegeta stopped and breathed for a second as the man and two girls just stared.  
  
"Actually, we were just going to give you a life time supply of Chubba Chunkies Chicken noodle soup. Not any of the other stuff you just finished raving about."  
  
"Oh. Well then. thanks. And when do I get my money?" Vegeta asked, kind of dazed after figuring out what in God's sweet name was going on.  
  
"Um. we didn't think that money was an appropriate choice of a prize for this tournament. The adult division gets a house and the youth get a life time supply of Chubba Chunkies." As though on cue the two scantily clad girls resumed their title of scantily clad dancing girls and began to sing the Chubba Chunkies theme song.  
  
"Some Chicken soups are bad. But Chubba Chunkies isn't. Oh no!! Not bad at all! Some might even go as far as saying it is half decent or even good! But it generally leans more towards the half decent mark!"  
  
Vegeta slapped his forehead. "_That_ is supposed to be a theme song?" The dancing girls nodded. "That was the biggest piece of crap I have ever heard in my life!! I don't think a country singer could put out worse crap than that! And trust me there are some bad country songs!! But this, _this_ takes the cake. Perfect ten on the this song is a piece of crap scale. I hope you ladies didn't write this crap. I mean the person who wrote it must be the _hugest_ crack fiend slash dumbass this side of the moon!! He deserves death in so many forms it would be next year before I finished listing them!!! I loathe you!!! I LOATHE YOU ALL!!!!" Vegeta breathed deeply for a second.  
  
The scrawny man opened his mouth to speak but Vegeta held up a hand. "I'M NOT DONE YET!!! You are the definition of evil!!! Satan cannot compare to the purity of your evil!!! Your hearts are made of OBSIDION!!!!"  
  
***********  
  
The next day. "Man this Chubba Chunkies crap ain't half bad." Vegeta commented as he put down his spoon. "But their advertising is all wrong!" He said as his eyes squinted "So very _very_ wrong." He said evilly as he slurped another spoonful. "Chubba Chunkies should burn in hell. But they make decent soup. I'M AT A PARADOX!!! Must kill Chubba Chunkies!! Must eat Chubba Chunkies!!! WHAT TO DO!!!!" Vegeta screamed as he waved his arms madly in the air, knocking over his bowl of soup.  
  
"NOOOOOOOO!!!! MY SOUP IS GONE!!! MY WORLD IS ENDING!!!!!" Vegeta screamed louder. "MUST HAVE MORE!!!!" Vegeta then stopped himself. "wait a tick. Chubba Chunkies is addictive. they must be lacing it with something!!! Must uncover their crappy drug scandal!!!"  
  
With that Vegeta shot a hole in the roof of the abandoned warehouse he had inhabited since leaving Shira. "TO INFINITY!!! AND BEYOND!!!!" He screamed as he launched himself up and out of the building with a box of Chubba Chunkies in one hand and a cup of the addictive soup in the other. He stopped at about 500 feet in the air before taking a long sip. "Ahhhh. Chubba Chunkies.." He then flew towards the Chubba Chunkies headquarters, which was pointed out conveniently, on the back of the box. "Die Chubba Chunkies. die." He said in a low voice just before taking another long sip. "ahhh.."  
  
************  
  
Three and a half hours later Vegeta found himself floating above the Chubba Chunkies factory and main distributing center which was built into the side of a mountain with spiralling towers like a medieval castle's. "Ook." He said, taken aback by the over elaborate fortifications on a chicken noodle soup factory. "Just a wee bit paranoid that somebody is going to ruin their drug operations."  
  
Vegeta shrugged, "Well I guess I'll just have to destroy the whole factory. but I can't!! Then there won't be anyone to give me Chubba Chunkies!!!" He formed a ki blast in one hand and shakily aimed towards the factory. "Must kill Chubba Chunkies.. Must. kill.. The ki blast dissipated in his hand as he admitted defeat. He took a swig of his Chubba Chunkies and hung his head in shame. "Can't even destroy the factory. How am I going to kill the president?" He shook his head in disappointment with himself and hovered slowly to the ground. "At least I could figure out what's in it."  
  
As Vegeta touched the ground a large amount of bluish green ki began to form around himself and his hair turned from black to golden yellow. His now green eyes glared at the two guards who were guarding the door. They both attempted to back away but an invisible force caught them both in the gut as Vegeta powered up slightly, pushing the door off it's hinges and flinging it into the courtyard instantly killing three more guards.  
  
"What the hell is going on out there Dabura!!!?!" The president of Chubba Chunkies screamed at his most trusted advisor.  
  
The pink skinned demon grinned. "It appears that a little boy has gotten through your defences."  
  
The president pulled at his hair, which appeared to be a normal thing, as he was balding quite quickly. "Don't get smug with me Dabura! You know your job!" Dabura nodded.  
  
"I'll take care of the boy." He grinned as he shot out through the window that faced the courtyard.  
  
"Oh I wish he would stop doing that." The president fumed as he called up his secretary. "Mrs.Kinshen, please inform everyone to return inside the building. Dabura will handle the boy."  
  
"Yes sir." Came the response.  
  
***********  
  
Vegeta punched a guard across the face and took a small amount of satisfaction when he felt the man's neck snap with the power of his punch. *Too easy. * He thought just as a ki blast scorched the Earth in front of him. "Who the. You! I know you! Your Babidi's lackey! Or is it Bibidi due to the current time? You know, I never have gotten my evil sorcerer's right." He chuckled as he ran a hand through his thick golden hair.  
  
Dabura laughed. "I am no one's lackey. And I never will be." Vegeta shook his finger at the demon.  
  
"Wrong sir, you will be possessed by Babidi's magic's. But. If I destroy you now, we'll never know will we. Personally I don't want Babidi to have a demon on his side, no that just wouldn't do." Vegeta joked.  
  
Dabura's smile widened, "You believe you can beat me? That is laughable." Vegeta laughed.  
  
"Then take my hardest attack, if you die. well I win, if you live I will allow you to use your most powerful attack on me. If I live after that then we keep the cycle going till one of us is dead. Deal?" Dabura nodded.  
  
"Deal." He smirked. *This kid doesn't know who he is up against. I could kill him no sweat. But just to humour the boy I'll play his little game. *  
  
Vegeta laughed. *One Galic Gun and this guy is so dead. If it can scare Cell than it will scare this guy, course I might blow up the Earth, but that is a risk I'm willing to take, I mean then I'll go back to Kai or get stuck on a big . catapult. oh this guy is sooo dead. *  
  
Vegeta smiled broadly. And began drawing off the broken catapult of endless energy. "GALIC!!!!" He cried out, both hands pointed to Dabura.  
  
*WHAT THE HELL!?! NO WAY CAN A KID HAVE THA MUCH POWER!!! * Dabura thought frantically. *I AM GOING TO DIE IF I DON'T GET OUT OF THE WAY OF THIS BLAST!! AND IT'S NOT EVEN HALF DONE YET!!! * He waved his hands in front of himself frantically to get Vegeta's attention. "NO DON'T SHOOT!! HOW ABOUT WE HAVE A NORMAL FIGHT?!! FIST TO FIST!!"  
  
But Vegeta was choosing not to listen. "GUN!!!" He launched the massive beam which quickly engulfed Dabura and half of the Chubba Chunkies factory.  
  
Vegeta breathed deeply and surveyed the destruction. "That'll do for now." He smiled as Dabura's ashes floated off with the wind down the Vegeta made canyon through the mountain range. "That'll have to do. I'll leave the president for later, I think it's about rest time." Vegeta said as he flew off through the air towards his abandoned warehouse that he called home.  
  
**********  
  
The president of Chubba Chunkies looked mournfully through his window, out into the courtyard that was now a blackened pile of rubble. "This is not my day." He muttered as he pushed the secretary button on his phone.  
  
"Yes sir?" Mrs.Kinshen answered in a happy voice.  
  
"Cancel all my appointments for the next month. I'm going on vacation." He said in a deeply depressed voice.  
  
"Yes sir. may I inquire as to why?"  
  
"Well, the factory was half destroyed in case you didn't notice."  
  
"Oh. well. Ok."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
*********  
  
Vegeta flew through the air a short distance away from the half destroyed factory. *I completely forgot to find out what's in this addictive soup. * He thought as he took a long swig of said soup.  
  
Vegeta rubbed his chin pensively as he hovered a few hundred feet above the ground. *I should probably go back. but what would I find out? Half the place is destroyed!! I won't even find anything but ashes!!! Hehehe, stupid demon. * He thought as the topic in his mind changed to the fond memory of Dabura's ashes floating down the freshly made canyon. *Good times had by all but Dabura and who ever was not there or in the castle factory thingy. * Vegeta sighed and hovered away. *I'll figure out what's in it later, for now I'll just trust that it is addictive and eat it. Yup, sounds like a plan. * Vegeta thought as he floated towards his abandoned warehouse home.  
  
**************  
  
Some time in the late afternoon the next day Vegeta woke up in a daze. He shook his head to wake up and wiped the sleep from his eyes. "I have a weird feeling about today." He muttered as a chill went up his spine. Vegeta scratched his head sleepily and wandered down the street, neglecting to put clothes on. He groggily walked into a convenience store and received odd stares from everyone inside.  
  
"What?" He asked the small crowd. When the crowd shied away from answering he looked at himself. "Oh right. Clothes. You don't have a no shoes no shirt no service policy do you?" He asked of the cashier who shook his head no. "Good. Then I'll just buy these camping cereal boxes and this little jug of milk." He said, still not awake enough to care about his public nudity.  
  
Vegeta put the small boxes of cereal and the one litre of two percent milk on the counter and realized he didn't have any money on him. "Crap. Nakedness doesn't allow for pockets." He stated as he formed a small ki ball and aimed it at the cashier's head. "Nothing personal." He stated as he launched the small attack, vaporising the man's head and the cigarette cartons behind him. "Smoking is bad for you anyways." He said before grabbing the milk and cereal and walking out of the store, leaving the horrified customers with the decapitated cashier.  
  
"Yup. It's going to be a weird day." He said just as the local law enforcement arrived at the scene along with an ambulance.  
  
A few minutes later Vegeta stepped into his little shelter. No sooner did he throw on some clothing than a knock on the door rang through the old warehouse. Vegeta solemnly trudged to the door and opened it, revealing a familiar face. "Hey Ian!! How's it going my man!?" Vegeta said, instantly waking up and getting a bit hyped up.  
  
"All right boyo. How about you? I don't want my meal ticket getting hurt." The large Scot joked.  
  
"I'm doing good. A bit of a run in with a cashier this morning, and a major corporation that was in league with a demon yesterday. But other than that, I'd say everything is as normal as any other day." Vegeta said as he motioned toward a pair of half upholstered chairs he had found in a dump just before he found the warehouse.  
  
Ian sat down in one of the two plaid chairs. "Your little place is holding up. How much more till you get that house you were talking about?"  
  
Vegeta smiled and shrugged. "I haven't actually picked out a specific house yet. But I think a few million should cut it."  
  
Ian laughed. "Your set on living it up little man. Which brings me to a point. I found a little tourney you might be interested in."  
  
Vegeta cracked open a box of cereal and poured some milk into it. "You know I'm into any tournament you can find Ian." He stated before taking a spoonful of corn pops.  
  
Ian laughed. "I know. I know. All for the money. Yeah, well this little tourney is a wee bit different."  
  
Vegeta looked intrigued and set the box down on the arm of his chair. "How so?"  
  
Ian smiled. "It's a bit of a gamble, but I figure you have the strength to do it lad."  
  
Vegeta charged up a small ki blast that illuminated the room. "Course I've got the strength. I'm not of this world. You know that." He said as he squinted and launched the small blast, which impacted with a fly, flash frying it.  
  
Ian smiled. "Your place will always be fly free boyo." He said before getting to the point. "Well, it's a bit of a Scottish tradition."  
  
"Am I golfing?" Vegeta said before picking up his box of corn pops again.  
  
"No lad. It's the timber toss." Ian said shaking his head and smiling broadly.  
  
Vegeta put his hand up to his forehead. "I throw big trees? This had better get me some big cash Ian."  
  
Ian put his hands up. "one mil, flat out, upfront, in cash."  
  
Vegeta snapped to alertness. "I'm in! So why such a big reward for tossing trees?"  
  
Ian looked at the boy oddly. "It's a tough thing. Besides as a bonus you can play any of the other lumberjack games for cash as well."  
  
It was Vegeta's turn to look at the other man oddly. "You want _me_ to chop trees without ki? Your nuts."  
  
Ian looked downtrodden. "Come on lad. For a friend?" He said.  
  
"NO PUPPY EYES!!" Vegeta screamed.  
  
"Only if you compete. It's been a dream of mine to compete in the tourney for years, but I was banned for holding bets." Ian said reflectively.  
  
Vegeta raised an eyebrow. "That's why it pays out big. You already had bets on each of the events, but you didn't ok it with me! I'm right aren't I?"  
  
Ian nodded. "And you're in. Come on lad. For the money. Each event gets close to a million. Three events have been bet on. Timber toss, Tree chop and log rolling. Easy stuff for your powers."  
  
Vegeta ran his hands through his long black hair and nodded while looking at the floor. "Alright then. What is the total pay out?"  
  
Ian held out a wad of cash, which Vegeta took into his hands. Flipping through it he said. "There is only three thousand here. I thought you said the payouts would be in millions. Your not holding back on me are you?"  
  
Ian waved his hands in front of him to defuse the situation. "Nah. That there is just the money you earned for signing up."  
  
Vegeta's jaw dropped to the floor. "You. placed a bet on if I signed up or not?"  
  
Ian nodded nervously. "Yeah. And the big payout in total is 2, 800,001.21 dollars. In cash. With the payouts from the individual events you get another 75,000, but that is in check format."  
  
Vegeta nodded. "3,550,001.21 all together. Big payout for us. You already calculate your cut out of it?" Ian nodded. "Yeah, I didn't think someone would put in a buck twenty one." Vegeta said as he took another spoonful of his now semi soggy corn pops. "Gotta have my pops."  
  
************ End  
  
Author's notes: (Well, thus concludes the third installation of Spiritual Misadventures. This is by far my personal favourite of the fics I am picking through at the moment. As it is the only one I have completed chapters of. For everyone's info, my other fics are called Wielder, and the other one is involving Blue seed but is at the moment, untitled. These fics will probably appear on Morden's site, as my own site is dedicated to my message board rpg, which will probably spurn on some fan fics of it's own. Yeah, well. This was an interesting chapter. Me doing Scottish games, addicted to soup and killing Dabura. What else should I do. hmm. Shira? Well, perhaps I have said to much. See you next chapter! Ciao!!)  
  
Agasaki Ishano: agasaki@crystal-tokyo.com Web site: 


	4. Chapter 4

Spiritual Misadventures  
By: Agasaki Ishano

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my ideas and myself, take them and die.

"Speech" Thoughts Emphasis

(My notes)

Chapter Four: Meeting

(For everyone's sake I'm not going to write about the Scottish tournament.. It would be too uneventful.)

Vegeta smiled as he toured the small apartment he recently purchased. It isn't a house, but it's home for now. He thought as he sat down on the plush carpeting that covered every inch of his new home. All it needs is furniture.. And a normal Nintendo... all right.

He grinned and stood up. "Today is going to be good." He said as he walked out the door way of apartment 15-A. He turned left and froze.

"Vegeta. There you are. I've been looking for you." said a familiar voice from behind him. "You know... you really should learn to mask your ki. It would make you harder to find."

Vegeta's face became deathly pale and he slowly turned around to face his fiance. "Hi Shira... um.... lovely weather we're having... HEY LOOK OVER THERE!!!" He yelled as he pointed to the ceiling.

Shira didn't break her glare. "That's not going to work Vegeta." She said coldly. "Now tell me why you left me."

Vegeta thought back to the events prior to him abandoning his fiance. "Umm.... to get... food?" He offered weakly.

"That is what you claimed..." Shira said, not breaking her icy tone. "But I don't have any food back at my shelter. And you've been gone a good long time... seems you even found a new home."

Vegeta nodded. "Why yes... yes I did... and a pretty nice home too... better than the shack anyway."

"Well good. I was getting tired of sleeping on the ground anyway. And my armor could use some cleaning. I'm glad you thought to buy us a new place. Though a bit small, it is suiting of a future queen." Shira then walked inside. "Nice carpet. Very soft. Good choice."

"Thanks... ummm... I need to go get some food.. And some furniture... so it's umm.. Fitting of you." Vegeta said hesitantly.

"You know what. I think I'll come with you." said Shira with a grin that let Vegeta know that she had won this round.

"Yeah... good idea."

Vegeta grimaced as he paid the movers after they had brought everything into his apartment. He grimaced as they left. I have seen hell, and it is shopping with a future royal Saiyan. I cannot believe she took seven fucking hours to choose a dinning room set. He mentally complained as he strolled around the boxes of tables and chairs he had used the rest of his money on. And everything had to match! "'Vegeta! Can you go back and check the drapes at home, I don't think they match this colour of wood stain.'" He muttered under his breath. "'Vegeta! Do you think that this would look good in our living room?'" He said, a bit louder, and in a voice that clearly mocked Shira. "'Vegeta! After this can I buy some new clothes!!'" He said at normal speaking volume and in a voice that was a direct mockery of Shira.

"Vegeta." Shira said from behind him. "Is there something you want to talk about? Or are you just griping about losing all that money?"

"Mostly griping about the money." He responded in a dry tone. How does she keep sneaking up on me... hmm... I shall ponder this as I drink my third cup of Chubba Chunkies. He thought as he made his way to the kitchen to fix himself a cup of the soup.

"Vegeta, darling. If you are making something to eat I could use something too." Shira called out from one of the four other rooms in the apartment.

Vegeta groaned. "OK!!" He called back and mixed in the additional water and soup mix. "What a slu." He muttered as he stirred his slowly simmering soup. Now.. To the topic at hand. The sneakiness of Shira.... hmm... Shira equals not very powerful female Saiyan. Add incedible sneakiness and spender of my moneys. The sum of this is.... Shira.. And what was I talking about.. "Hey! My soup's done!" Vegeta chirped (Well... as well as the raspy voiced Saiyan can chirp) in delight. "SHIRA!! SOUPS ON!!!"

"SOUPS ON WHAT!?!" Shira called back in confusion.

".....yeah.... SORRY EARTH EXPRESSION!!!" Vegeta bellowed as Shira walked into the room.

"Not so loud. So umm.. What does 'soups on' mean?"

"The soup is ready." Vegeta said as he ladled out a bowl for himself and Shira. "It's just one of those expressions I knew in my past life."

Shira nodded and gave Vegeta a weird look. "Are you sure you didn't hit your head in the landing?"

"Yup."

"Can we go to a doctor tomorrow to check?"

"Nope... eat your soup... It's good."

"Ok. But I do want you to see a doctor." Shira said, seeming moderately concerned.

"Ok... sure thing." Vegeta said between spoonfuls of the liquid meal.

"I'm being serious. Although this species is way behind in medical treatments, they may be able to help you recover your old identity." Shira said with a worried look on her face.

"Stolen Identity!" Vegeta yelled out in the best Arnold Shwartzenegger (How the hell do you spell that?) voice he could do with his harsh voice.

Shira just stared.

The next morning Vegeta pushed Shira off him lightly. Woman keeps slipping into my bed at night... I'll have to talk to her about that. He mentally noted as he slipped on his pants and a loose tank top. He groggily made his way to the kitchen, his eyes still crusty from his sleep. "Foooooooood." He moaned as he opened his fridge and scanned it's contents. Spying the milk he grabbed it and made his way to the cupboard and took out a box of Super Happy O's and a bowl. Snagging a spoon on the way to the table (another of Shira's expensive purchases). He set the bowl, box, milk and sppon on the solid oak surface and pulled up a high backed chair of the same material. Just as he poured the cereal he heard a knock at the door. Grumbling loudly he stomped over to the door and levitated till he could see through the view hole.

On the other side of the door was a man in a light grey suit with a tacky bright green tie and a comb-over, carring a small portfolio. Vegeta shrugged and undid the latch, bringing himself to the ground before the man entered. Vegeta opened the door and smiled as nicely as he could at 10 in the morning (an ungodly time).

"Hello little boy. Where are your parents?" The man asked in a voice he clearly reserved for children under the age of 10.

"Not here." Vegeta responded and moved to close the door.

The man stepped in before the Saiyan had a chance to touch the door. "I've received a complaint about a lack of adult supervision in this apartment. I'm here with Children's Aid Society, and I need to talk to the owner of this household. Do you know when you parents will be back little boy?"

Vegeta cocked an eyebrow. "Are you going to put me in foster care?"

"No, not if it isn't necessary. But you and your sister will be in foster care if your parents are not located." The man said.

"Who is the apartment registered under?" Vegeta asked.

The man flipped through his papers and stopped at a page about half way through the portfolio and looked the boy over. "It's registered under who I assume your parent to be, a Vegeta Kakorotte."

"I'm Vegeta." Vegeta responded dryly

"But you must be Vegeta Junior. I'm looking for your father, Vegeta Senior."

"He's dead." Vegeta responded in the same tone.

"Oh.... I'm sorry... do you know where your mother is? Or any contact able family?" the man asked, with feigned sorrow.

Vegeta shrugged, and then an idea came to him. "My grandfather is Master Roshi... on Roshi island."

The man nodded and started to write this down. "I'll contact Mr. Roshi for you."

Vegeta waved his hands up frantically, hoping his plan might fall through. "No need! I've already called him, me and my sister were just packing up the stuff here. He'll be by later today. Everything is under control."

The man looked skeptical. "But you kids are going to need some help with all this stuff, and what if something bad happens?"

Vegeta shrugged. "Everything will be fine! Grandpy will be here in an hour or two and we'll be on our way."

"I'm going to send a person to check up on you each hour though. If Mr. Roshi isn't here in two hours we'll bring you to him." the man said writing some more.

"OK... in fact, I'll call grandpa and check if it's ok for you guys to pick us up and drive us there... you might want to get a U Haul or something, cause we have to move all of poppa's stuff over to grandpa's." Vegeta said, nodding and considering Roshi training seriously. It might help me to control more of my ki and Shira could definitely use some training... the girl is pathetic.

The man nodded. "I'll have someone here in an hour... or better yet, I'll wait here with you and your sister until we can get someone here to pick up your stuff." He said with a big smile.

Vegeta backed up, unnerved by the smile. "Ok.... sure..." Vegeta paused. "I just need to talk to my sister...." He then took a slow step back wards, not taking his eyes off the man who was still smiling. He took another slow step, then turned and ran to his bedroom. Vegeta ran up to Shira and shook the sleeping girl lightly. "Shira..." He said softly. "Shira... Wake up."

"Mmmm.." She moaned as she slowly slipped out of whatever dream she had been having. "Huh..."

Vegeta smiled. "Shira. We are leaving the city. I found a place to train, and someone to teach us."

Shira smiled. "Training? ... From a human?" She chuckled lightly.

"Not just any human! This man is a master of ki control!" Vegeta said, excited at the prospect of meeting the slightly obscene martial artist master.

Shira shook her head. "I don't know Vegeta... human's are not the best at controlling their ki..."

Vegeta shook his head. "It's either this or we go to foster homes."

"Or we could do as we are supposed to and set up a population of Saiyans on this planet and destroy the majority of the humans." Shira offered sarcastically.

Vegeta grinned. "You just want to get in my pants."

Shira raised an eyebrow. "Is that so bad?"

"Yes... cause you are five years old...." Vegeta responded, sickened at the prospect of sex with the other Saiyan.

Shira shook her head. "Where are your hormones Vegeta? You just aren't the same."

"AAAANNYWAY!!!" Vegeta interjected. "We are going to Master Roshi's to train." He paused. "Royal order." He added.

Shira shook her head and got out of bed, revealing that she was completely nude. "Ok.. That's fine with me."

Vegeta screamed and hid his eyes. "AHHHHH!!!! NAKED!!!!!!!"

At the exact moment that Shira went into her room the Children's Aid man burst into the room. "WHERE!!!" He yelled, sounding overly excited.

"Ewww...." Vegeta grimaced as he saw the man's look of lust. "You need to leave."

The man shrugged. "Umm... you know... somebody screamed... I was tring to.."

"Get out." Vegeta stated in a flat tone. "Just go."

The man looked around, dusted off his already clean suit and walked back into the living room.

"Ewwww.." Vegeta shuddered.

One hour later Vegeta, Shira and all of their various furniture, cutlery and dishware was transferred onto the lawn of the unsuspecting Turtle master.

"WHAT!?! WHERE!?! WHO!?!?" the confused martial artist yelled as the shipping crew relentlessly emptied out the cargo bay of their Capsule Corp jets as two children watched.

A few minutes later the men were gone, leaving the old man with the two Saiyan children. "HI MASTER ROSHI!!" the male one yelled, catching the already mind boggled man off guard, and resulting in him falling backwards.

"H-How do you know me!?!" Roshi questioned the pointy haired boy.

"Who doesn't know the famous master Roshi! Why I'm sure there isn't a person in the world who hasn't heard of your mastery of martial arts!" Vegeta said, laying on the compliments in a hope that the old man would accept him as a student.

Roshi eyed the boy, then the girl. "Why are the two of you out here? Shouldn't you be at home?"

Vegeta smirked. "This is our home. We are legally your responsibility now."

Shira nodded. Vegeta had run the plan by her before they had got on the Children's Aid jet.

Master Roshi adjusted his large, ever present sunglasses and leaned heavily on his gnarled cane. "Hmm... is that the case?"

"It is." Vegeta replied smugly.

"Well... why me?"

Vegeta's smirk turned into a grin. "I want you to train me." Shira elbowed Vegeta hard in the ribs. "... And Shira."

Roshi nodded. "I usually only take one student at a time."

"I know... but we are a special case." Vegeta said, his grin growing.

"How so?"

"I had hoped you would ask." Vegeta said, his grin now an open mouthed smile. "Watch." Vegeta focused hard and flared his ki, just for a second. It was enough to kick up the sand around him and make everyone else have to shield their eyes from the torrent of sand.

Roshi sweatdropped. "W-Wha.... H-how!! B-But!! Your just a kid!! How do you have that much power!!"

Vegeta laughed. "I'm not from this world." He said as he unwrapped his tail from around his waist, and motioned for Shira to do the same. "Our race is known as Saiyan. We are the true rulers of the universe."

Shira smiled. Finally, he is remembering his pride. Maybe he is getting over his head trauma...

Roshi's jaw hit the beach. "Gaaaahhh..."

Vegeta shook his head. "Yeah... I was expecting that."

Author's notes: (HEY!! I FINISHED A CHAPTER OF SM!!! Wow... I haven't done this story in about two years. Any fans can thank LainIris (That's her name) for sending me mail telling me to continue the fic. I probably wouldn't have even remembered that I had done it if not for her. Well.. I'm currently doing a project called Katimavik, which gives me more time than I can imagine, so expect a good amount of SM from me. (maybe 1 chapter every two weeks if I'm good and Ideas keep coming to me.) I've got a couple plans for this story, and I hope everyone enjoys them. If anyone has any ideas for the fic I would be happy to hear them. I don't get enough reader support, lol. I am also accepting, nay begin for pre-readers. I've been out of the fan fic loop for far too long and need people to check and make sure I still make sense. Well, see you in a bit. Ciao!)

Evan 

anything I have will likely be found on or if anyone wants to host me give me an e-mail and I'll send you all my SM stuff and a great big thank you. Also, anyone who is interested in doing a long running story over e-mail with myself about any series, I would be glad to do one.


	5. Chapter 5

Spiritual Misadventures

By:Evan McNeely

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my ideas and myself, take them and die.

"Speech" Thoughts Emphasis

(My notes)

Chapter Five: Training

Roshi's jaw remained on the beach for a good three minutes. The bald old man had just felt the strongest ki in his life. This boy is powerful!! He thought as he slowly brought his chin off the sand. He could easily win any tournament I put him in!! But the fact that he's part monkey might make it difficult to get him registered.

Vegeta grinned. Got him impressed. I'll be trained in the use of some powerful ki techniques in no time... not that I need it or anything.. Heh catapult.

Roshi then composed himself. "Now then, you think you are good enough to be trained by me hmm?"

Vegeta stared unamused at the man's attempt to regain face. "I know I'm good enough, and you damn well know it too."

"Hmm.... caught onto my act." Roshi muttered under his breath. "Alright then. First off you need to find me a beautiful girl." the perverted martial artist declared.

Vegeta stepped back and motioned to Shira. "Done."

Roshi pondered for a second. "Too young... I need some lady who is around 20 to 24 and blonde."

Vegeta groaned. Now I have to go do work.

Shira looked on in confusion. "What just happened there Vegeta... DID YOU JUST OFFER ME OVER TO THAT OLD MAN!!!??!!"

Vegeta nodded, still deeply in thought as Shira's fist impacted sharply with the back of his cranium. Vegeta staggered, but still remained standing as just as pensive as before. "Hmmm..... 23 blonde...... hmmmm." Without a warning he started to levitate and float back towards the mainland. "Hmmmm...."

An hour later Vegeta floated back with a squirming, busty, blonde girl of about 23 years of age. "LET GO OF ME YOU FLOATING MONKEY BOY!!!!!" She screamed as she started kicking at him, noticing that she was near land.

Vegeta sighed and dropped her into the water about 20 feet out from shore, to which she quickly swam. Roshi greeted her, his eyes twinkling madly as he grabbed hold of her as soon as she got to shore and copped a feel or two as he helped her up. "Hello my darling, so nice to see you."

"WHERE AM I???!!! WHO ARE YOU!!!???! DON'T TOUCH ME!!!" She screamed as she pushed Roshi's hands away from her chest.

Roshi backed up and composed himself. "My name is Master Roshi, you are on my island. That is my student... umm I didn't catch your name...."

"Vegeta... and the violent chick is Shira."

Roshi looked at the pair. "Well... welcome to Roshi training.... ummm what's your name my dear?" Roshi said as he turned his focus to the blonde woman.

Before the woman could answer, Vegeta cut in. "Actually I'm leaving" He said, "... you bore me.... I thought there would be more antics."

Roshi forgot the woman. "Huh!?! B-But.... you just passed the first test!"

"And it sucked.... I'm leaving before I have to deliver milk or whatever community service bullshit was the next test." Vegeta said nonchalantly as he turned his back on the old master. He turned his head back at the confused martial artist. "And I'm taking the chicks with me." With that he fully spun around, thrust one hand in the air and stabbed the other vertically across his chest, making 'West-side' symbols with both hand and raising one leg in a dramatic kick. "PIMPING!!!!" He then gathered the girls up and flew back to shore before the man could respond.

"Weird..."

"Excuse me? Are you Master Roshi?" A small voice asked.

"Huh!?! WHAT!?! WHO'S TALKING!?!" The turtle master exclaimed looking increasingly confused. Finally his eyes settled on the young boy who was talking to him. "Oh." Master Roshi said, attempting to regain composure by dusting himself off.. "You must be attempting to be my new student."

"Yup!" The boy declared enthusiastically.

"Hmm.... to bad... I already have a student... he just doesn't know it yet!" With that Roshi walked into his cabin and closed the door, leaving a dejected young Goku out on the beach.

Meanwhile, inside the cabin!!!

"That boy is so intriguing!! I must train him! Then I will finally have someone who can compete against that Tienshinnan and his midgetty buddy whatshisname!" Roshi stopped, and then started to pace and think. "But how to get that boy to be my student....."

That same day in their sewer hideout, Slick and Greasy had formulated their plot to defeat the pointy haired kid who could jump higher than them.

"Ok Slick." Greasy started, as he ran his hand over his disgustingly shiny hair. "Alls we gotta do is figure out a way to increase our jumping power ten fold, then that little brat will have to give us all of his money!"

"Good plan Greasy!" Slick said, as he motioned for a high five.

The pair high fived.

"YEAH!... now alls we gotta do is figure out how...." Greasy said. With that the pair started walking around each other in perfect circles in the same pose, one hand stroking their chin, and the other running a comb through their hair.

Just then Slick stopped, turned one hundred and eighty degrees and looked Greasy straight in the eyes. "I'VE GOT IT!!" He exclaimed, pumping one fist in the air. "WE'LL LOOK FOR DRAGONBAIL!!"

"Huh? What's a dragonbail?" Greasy asked.

Slick grinned. "Ha! You don't know what dragonbail is?" Slick continued when Greasy shook his head no. "Dragonbail is made of seven orbs that are all over the place. Once you gather em up you've made dragonbail."

Greasy nodded and smiled like he knew what was going on. "Awesome!!... but what does having dragonbail do?"

Slick's grin turned into a disturbing ear to ear smile. "Once you have the dragonbail, you get to make one call to the mighty dragon Shenmue.... and for letting him out of dragonjail he'll grant a wish! We could wish that we could jump the highest! Then we'd get all that kid's money!!"

"AND THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY!!!" Greasy yelled.

"Yeah... let's just hope my grandma wasn't lying to me when she told me this tale... she wasn't all that trustworthy with tales." Slick said as he made the sign of smoking the ganja with two fingers in front of his mouth and making loud inhaling sounds.

"Aaaahhh..." Greasy said, mimicking Slick.

"Yeah... maybe we can go visit those crazy people who make cars that fit in bottles so they can make us a dragonbail finder... they're good at stuff like that!" Slick stated enthusiastically

Greasy nodded. "Yeah they made my dad a muffin tray that could fit in a bottle."

"Wow..." Slick stated, completely awestruck.

"Yeah."

At that same time Vegeta and Shira searched the streets of Orange Star City for housing. "I've got it!!" Exclaimed Vegeta.

"What?" Shira asked, as she rooted through a local newspaper.

"We can summon Shenron!!"

"Who?" Shira asked, not truly caring.

"The Dragon... in the balls.... Dragonballs.... He can grant wishes and stuff!" Vegeta then began to do a little victory dance, but stopped when a lecherous old man started staring at him. "Anywho, we could get anything we wanted.... a house... immortality.... infinite power... the resurrection of planet Vegeta.. Whatever we wanted."

Shira looked excited. "We could undo Freeza's destruction?" She asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I don't see why Shenron would not grant that wish.... unless planet Vegeta has been destroyed before...."

Shira shook her head. "It couldn't have been, how would it have gotten recreated?"

"Dunno, maybe other dragonballs... oh well.. We won't know till we find these Dragonballs eh?" Vegeta asked with a smirk. "We'll just drop by Capsule corps and ask if they have a dragonball radar we could buy or borrow or whatever."

Shira smiled from ear to ear. "Sounds great!"

"Yup.... but first some Chubba Chunkies!" Vegeta said as he picked up Shira and began flying towards his old warehouse.

Later that same day outside the Capsule Corp head office Vegeta and Shira stood triumphantly, Dragonradar in hand, ready to embark on their epic quest of epic proportions. "Well, I guess all that's left is getting to it."

"It was excellent how you just walked in and punched out that blue haired girl then stole her Dragonradar!.. But how did you know that she would have it? I mean, she looked like your everyday prostitute." Shira asked as the pair began to walk away form the building as paramedics started to arrive.

"Instinct my dear Shira, every detective gets at least one undeniable hunch per case and that my dear, was the one!" Vegeta exclaimed as he punctuated his sentence by thrusting his arm in the air.

"Huh... Ok... well... let's get started then." Shira said, looking very confused.

"Let's." Vegeta said, his arm still in the air.

"You can put your arm down..."

"Ok..."

Slightly later than that Slick and Greasy arrived on the scene at the Capsule Corp office only to find it taped up with police tape. "Wow... somebody musta hit it first Slick." Greasy said.

Slick stroked his freshly shaved chin with one hand and ran his other hand over his slicked hair. "I guess so Greasy.... musta been that kid!"

Greasy nodded and mimicked Slick. "Of course.... he musta listened in when we talked about the Dragon Bail... HE MUST WANT THE DRAGON BAIL FOR HIMSELF!!!" Greasy exclaimed as he threw his arms in the air frantically.

Slick failed to lose his cool. "Calm down Greasy, I already knew he'd be after the Dragon Bail... who wouldn't... the dragon is a powerful ally... who wouldn't want a dragon, or the wishes for that matter."

Greasy instantly calmed down. "Your right Slick... of course he'd want the dragon."

Slick nodded. "I think he already has it though.... he must be the keeper!" Slick exclaimed, as though surprising himself.

"Huh?"

"The keeper!! He's the keeper!! He's the one who is holding the dragon in Dragon Jail!! That's why he could jump so high!!" Slick said as his realization swept over the pair like a foul breeze.

Greasy blanched. "No... then... we can't get the Dragon Bail except from him?"

Slick looked at his friend as though he had just farted. "No... we have to give the Bail to him. When you bust me out of jail do you give me bail? No! You pay the officer in front! He is the officer in front for the dragon. He may not be the one who has the Bail, but he'll know where we can get the bail for the dragon's release!" Slick explained in his second realization of the day.

Greasy nodded. "So let's find the kid!"

Slick turned to fully take in the Capsule Corp building. "But why would he go to Capsule Corp?"

"Might have been another person looking for Dragon Bail?" Greasy said, unsure of himself.

"Maybe, But maybe he wanted to stop some research on the Dragon Bail finder we were looking for."

"Hmm... Maybe." Greasy said as he performed the stroking/slicking maneuver that he and Slick were known for save that he alternated hands, thus earning him the name Greasy for his greased chin.

"Anyway, we should come back tomorrow and ask some scientists about the Dragon Bail finder." Slick said as he turned away from the building and started to head back towards the pair's ultra secret apartment hideout in Slick's Mom's basement (Note: the apartment hideout is more secretive than the sewer hideout, mostly because Slick's mom makes them muffins).

Greasy gave one longing stare at the Capsule building and followed his hetero life mate.

End of Chapter.

Author's notes: (Sorry it's taken so freaken long! I've been living throguh the busiest part of my existence as of late, plus I sorta... kinda... forgot about SM til JB Cotterell (Hope I spelt that right) re-informed me today over MSN. So people who read this can thank him with the bottoms of their heart, and thank me with their top parts of their hearts for continuing this story. I'm sorry if some of it diverts from series lore, but that's the point. That and I'm writing out of a bottle of Jack Daniels. Oh well... all the good writers are alcoholics, so I might as well become and alcoholic in hopes of becoming a good writer. chortle Well, that's all from me... expect another chapter slightly sooner than this one was released... Well, happy trails.)

Evan McNeely can be reached at and posts most of his stories on or 


	6. Chapter 6

Spiritual Misadventures

By:Evan McNeely

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my ideas and myself, take them and die.

"Speech" Thoughts Emphasis

(My notes)

Chapter Five: The search began

(Note: There is 100 more blowup doll action in this chapter than any other chapter to date!!)

"Well this sucks." Vegeta stated as he and Shira walked away from the smoldering ruins of the Red Ribbon Army headquarters. "We've been at this for weeks and we've only got five dragonballs! I would've thought that with our combined powers those two floaters wouldn't even be an issue."

"But Vegeta, the other two are shrouded from the radar, it's not like we're sensitive to the dragonballs, we have to rely on the radar." Shira as she focused her chi around herself and began to lift off the ground.

Vegeta shrugged. "I know... but I'm just agitated... in the series the dragonballs were never shrouded... it's just really weird."

There he goes with that series thing again. Shira mentally grumbled. "Don't worry about it Vegeta. I'm sure the dragonballs will turn up somewhere."

Slick grinned as he polished the golden orb in his lap. "Who woulda known my grandma would have a piece of dragonbail?"

Greasy nodded as he stared deep into the orb. "Yeah, that was way to coincidental, and what was that spray she put on it?"

"She said it'd keep the magic sealed in the bail so that it'd stay good... like preservative or something..." Slick said as he set the ball aside on a hand knit cushion that his grandma made for the dragonball.

"Huh... that's cool... but what does the seven twinklies in the middle mean?" Greasy asked as he poked the ball cautiously.

Slick glared at him. "I don't know, but don't poke the dragonbail!..... maybe that it's number seven of the dragonbail... like if the keeper needs like... four dragonbail for the dragon or whatever."

Greasy nodded. "So... if the dragon did something real bad then we'd pay more dragonbail than normal... sorta like when our buddy Toeless Tate attacked that chubba chunkies stand with all his friends and we had to bail him out, but it cost way more than any a those times when we got jailed for little stuff."

Slick smiled. "Yeah! That's gotta be it!!..." A devious grin spread across his face and he leaned closer to Greasy. "But what happens when you give too much bail?"

"......I dunno.... you get change?" Greasy responded, dumbfounded.

"That's right Greasy, that's exactly right... you get change..... and we have what grandma said was the highest number in the dragonbail series!" Slick said, waiting for his buddy to fill in the blanks.

"So...... we.. Could.... give the dragonbail... to the keeper... and he'd... give us.... CHANGE!!!! SLICK!! WE COULD GIVE THE DRAGONBAIL TO THE KEEPER AND HE'D GIVE US CHANGE!!!" Greasy screamed as he got excited and jumped into the air barely missing the low ceiling in Slick's basement apartment.

Slick nodded, the devious grin still plastered on his face. "Let's go find that kid Greasy, let's free the dragon."

Greasy nodded and then stopped. "Why do we call Toeless Tate Toeless Tate?"

"Cause he ain't got no toes."

"Ah."

With that the pair rushed out of Slick's mom's basement and into the streets of Orange Star

Master Roshi grinned as he uncovered the five star dragon ball from under a stack of porno and Sear's catalogue panty sections. "Six more of these and I can have anything I've ever wanted." Roshi's grin turned malicious as he continued. "Soon... a bevy of beautiful babes will be mine to command.. Nay! TWO BEVIES!!!!" Roshi then chuckled evilly and covered up the dragonball hastily with the smutty magazines. "After that I'll work on getting that kid to be my student." With that he picked up a choice jack mag and went into the bathroom.

"HOLY SHIT!! There was a blip!!" Vegeta yelled as he stopped in mid air.

Shira stopped abruptly, just barely running into Vegeta. "Really? Where is it?"

"Well.. In Master Roshi's house." Vegeta responded, sounding awestruck.

"The old pervert has a dragonball? I really don't want to know where he keeps a giant ball like that..." Shira grimaced.

Vegeta shrugged. "Probably in a dead hooker." He said nonchalantly.

Shira stared at Vegeta in utter horror. "What!?! AND YOU WERE OFFERING ME OVER TO THAT MURDEROUS LECHER!?!?" She screamed as she started to pummel Vegeta who attempted to both block and hold on to the two dragonballs that wouldn't fit into the backpack he had picked up before they started to search.

"STOP IT!! I WAS JOKING!!!" Vegeta protested as he planted his left foot in Shira's gut and pushed away, boosting ahead slightly with chi.

"Well, it wasn't funny." Shira pouted.

Vegeta snickered. "I thought it was." He muttered just loud enough that Shira could hear him.

"Well, let's go get this dragonball." Shira said, glaring menacingly at Vegeta as he held back his laughter.

"Let's" Vegeta said between chuckles.

Ten minutes later Vegeta kicked in the door of the Turtle house. "HAND OVER THE HOOKER ROSHI!!!!" He hollered, earning a shot to the kidney from Shira.

Shira stepped over Vegeta's squirming body and plucked the dragonradar from his grasp. "I'll take care of this."

"Say hi to the hooker for me!" Vegeta called behind her as he regained his feet.

Shira shot him a look that would've killed a normal man and started searching Roshi's house.

Suddenly a long shadow was cast over the female saiyan making her shiver. "Huh?" She exclaimed as she turned around.

Vegeta was searching the living room when he heard a shrill scream. Using chi he shot through the house to find Shira. Vegeta stopped in front of a horrifying scene, Master Roshi had just stepped out of the bathroom holding what appeared to be a limp woman covered in what looked like blood and holding a knife and fork in his other hand. "Oh... my.... God...." Vegeta said, completely shocked.

Roshi dropped the woman and the utensils and raised his hands in protest, but Shira shrieked again. Roshi looked down and pulled up his pants and then brought his hands up again, waving them in front of him in order to diffuse the situation. "It's not what it seems!!" He yelled.

Vegeta just shook his head. "And I was going to be trained by you. Tsk tsk. Killing hookers in your bathroom and then eating their vital organs as a sacrifice to your dark gods to prolong your pitiful existence."

Roshi's left eyebrow shot up. "What? No... that's a blowup doll... and the red is ketchup... I was... Um... doing my thing with the doll... and eating some french fries..... see it's always been my fantasy too...."

"NO MORE!!!" Vegeta cut him off. "NO MORE, YOU SICK FUCK!!!" With that, Shira moved back towards Vegeta, who cradled her in his arms and told her that it would be ok. "Just give us your dragonball and we'll leave and tell no-one of this event."

Roshi blanched. "What!? My dragon ball... what are you talking about?"

"We know you have one... you didn't think we'd bust up your plastic sex party for nothing did you?" Vegeta asked, still rocking Shira back and forth in front of himself as she buried her face in his shoulder and cried tears of a lost innocence.

Roshi pondered this for a minute. "Hmm... but how did you know?"

"We have a dragonradar. It tells us where the dragonballs are... but for some reason yours was hidden from the radar. But I regress.. Give me the dragonball." Vegeta declared, taking one arm off of Shira and aiming it at the old man.

Roshi nodded. "Fine... but once you have made your wish, I want you to return here. I need to speak with you about other things."

Vegeta nodded as Roshi rushed away to dig the dragonball out of it's hiding place. He returned promptly and handed the ball to Vegeta who took with his free hand. "So.. How did you hide it anyway?"

"I didn't.. It was just under a bunch of porno and Sear catalogue panty sections." Roshi said as Vegeta started to lead Shira to the door.

"Huh... that's odd that porno and smuttiness would block a sensitive device like the dragonaradar." Vegeta said as he and Shira reached the door.

"Maybe it doesn't have all the bugs worked out of it?" Roshi offered.

"Perhaps. I'll returned as promised... please be decent when I do." With that Vegeta took off with Shira clutching his torso.

Roshi waved the pair off and returned to the hallway just outside the bathroom. "Now my dear." He said, addressing the blowup doll. "Where were we?"

End of chapter.

Author's notes: (I'll end it there for now. I know it's shorter than normal, but the ending was just too clean to continue... anywho oddness continues in this and the next installation of Spiritual misadventures!! That, and I realized I started this when I was 16 and have only finished 6 chapters in 3 years.... Well.. Them's the breaks.)

Evan McNeely can be reached at and posts all his works on either or He appreciates comments and will take into consideration any ideas offered by fans and fellow authors. If people e-mail him he will continue to work on Spiritual Misadventures and any other stories he comes up with and my create some sort of site... he also loves speaking in third person... and is very lonely....


	7. Chapter 7

Spiritual Misadventures

By:Evan McNeely

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my ideas and myself, take them and die.

"Speech" Thoughts Emphasis

(My notes)

Chapter Seven: The search continues and more searching happens with less blowup dolls.

Vegeta almost dropped the traumatized Shira as they were flying over Orange Star City. "I'VE GOT A BLIP!!!"

Shira moaned in agony. "Will it make the images stop?" She asked pitifully.

"Nope. But it'll show us the last dragonball!" Vegeta sang out cheerily as he changed directions and started to head towards the slums of Orange City. "It's kinda weird that it would be here, and such a faint blip.. No wonder we missed it."

Shira just moaned.

Vegeta touched down in front of a well kept white board bungalow with a quaint picket fence that barely kept the forty bottles and bullet casings off the freshly mowed lawn. Vegeta unhinged the latch and started down the gravel pathway, leaving Shira and the dragonballs on the side of the road. He glanced around as he approached the screen door and saw nothing suspicious, feeling confident he rang the doorbell.

"I'll be there in a minute." A kindly voice called from inside the house and soon Vegeta could hear footsteps approaching the door from the other room.

Vegeta looked back to Shira who was currently retching in the ditch that ran down the street. "Ooh. Is she O.K?" The kindly voice asked from behind Vegeta. He spun around and smiled kindly at the elderly lady standing in the doorway.

"I'm sure she's alright." Vegeta stated, still smiling.

"Probably morning sickness.. Happens a lot round here." the lady said, looking sadly at Shira who just rolled over and started holding the dragonballs to her chest while in the fetal position. "Either that or bad crack..."

"Yes... well.... I was wondering if you had a golden orb in your possession? Preferably translucent with seven stars in the center." Vegeta said, getting straight to the point.

"DRAGONBAIL!?" the old lady exclaimed. "You're after dragonbail? Why my grandson is after the same thing... he has mine... it's the seven star dragonbail, like what you're looking for." She said as Shira let out a long, eerie moan.

The pair in the doorway looked briefly at Shira then turned back to each other. "Yes. I'm looking for the seven star.. Dragon..bail." Vegeta said, unsure of what he was telling this lady.

"Hmm... well.. You just talk with my grandson Slack... him and his friend Grassy are downstairs playing with the dragonbail right now.. I'm sure they'll let you have it as long as your nice."

"Thank you Ma'am." Vegeta said, trying his best to be polite.

"SLACK!!! GRASSY!!!!" The old lady bellowed surprising Vegeta and earning another moan from Shira.

"GRANDMA!! IT'S SLICK AND GREASY!!! NOT SLACK AND GRASSY!!!!" The response came from somewhere else in the house.

Vegeta unconsciously took a step backwards. Slick and Greasy? Those are the assholes who tried to rob me way back when.... how is this nice old lady their grandma? He thought as Slick's grandma continued to bellow.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU PUNKS CALL YOURSELVES THESE DAYS!!! YOU'VE GOT COMPANY!!! I'M SENDING HIM DOWNSTAIRS AND IT HAD BEST BE CLEAN!!!"

"YES GRANDMA!!" Came the response.

"I'm sorry sonny.. But it might be a tad messy down there, Slack and Grassy aren't in the least bit tidy." Slick's grandma said apologetically.

"That's ok.. I don't mind a bit of a mess." said Vegeta.

"What a nice boy." Slick's grandma said as Vegeta made his way to the basement.

Shira just kept moaning.

Vegeta carefully maneuvered his way past various stacks of manga and anime tapes until he reached a door in the basement marked 'Slick and Greasy's ultra secret hideout' and a sign under that which read, 'located in Slick's mom's house'. Huh.. I thought that was his grandma... that's what he called her.... I guess his mom's not here. He thought as he rapped on the door.

"It's open!" Came a response from inside.

The second Vegeta stepped in his vision was blocked and it felt like someone was hitting him with something. "YOU'LL NEVER GET OUR DRAGONBAIL MARKY MARK!!! WE TOLD YOU THAT YOU COULD ONLY LOOK AT IT!!!" Two voices screamed in unison as something kept hitting Vegeta.

Just as suddenly as it had begun, it stopped. "Wait... Marky Mark is like 6 feet tall... this guy is like three foot nothing..."

There was silence for about thirty seconds when another voice spoke up. "IT'S MARKY MARK'S LITTLE BROTHER JOHNY JOHN!!!!"

"HIT IM!!!"

With that Vegeta grabbed whatever was on his head and pulled it off to find himself standing in a room, holding a pillow case and about to be accosted by two men in tight leather wielding baseball bats. Vegeta grinned as the pari of them suddenly dropped their bats. "It's him." The pair said in unison. "It's the keeper."

At that Vegeta cocked an eyebrow. "The keeper?" He queried.

"Yeah... you're here for the dragonbail right? Is seven enough?" The one on the left asked.

"Yeah... seven is fine." Vegeta said, still very much confused.

"Good.. Greasy, go get the keeper the seven bail." Said the one on the right. The one on the left, who had a glistening chin nodded and walked out of the room, returning shortly with the seven star dragonball on a red pillow. He presented the ball to Vegeta who took it off the pillow and turned to leave.

"Wait!" The greasy chinned one exclaimed. "What about our wish?"

"Hmm? What wish?" Vegeta asked, turning to face the pair.

"We want our wish." The non-greasy chinned one stated.

"Oh... OH RIIIGHT. The wish.. Let's go outside." Vegeta said as he turned and began heading outside. Slick and Greasy shrugged and followed him.

Once they were outside and on the street Vegeta turned to face the pair. "Well, what do you want?"

"We want to be able to jump higher than you!" Slick yelled, thrusting his fist in the air for emphasis.

Vegeta held back a chuckle. "Ok. It is done."

"Huh... what about the dragon?"

"And dragonjail?"

"OH.. I take care of that within the dragonbail." Vegeta said, improvising.

"Oh... Ok... LET'S HAVE A JUMPING CONTEST!! I wanna try out my new powers!!" Greasy exclaimed stretching his legs in preparation.

"Fine." Said Vegeta. "You go first."

Greasy nodded, he then got low to the ground and took off into the air jumping 5 feet vertically. Vegeta smiled and motioned for Slick to take his turn. Slick smiled back and jumped 4 feet in the air. He looked smugly at Vegeta, and motioned for Vegeta to take his turn. Vegeta sighed and hopped 2 feet straight up and landed in front of the pair who were laughing hysterically.

"IT WORKED!!! WE ARE THE HIGHEST JUMPERS IN THE WORLD!!! THE DRAGONBAIL WORKED!!" The pair then high-fived, both of them jumping as high as they could. After the high five and a bit more comradery the pair turned to where Vegeta had been to find that he had taken off and the girl was gone with him.

"Keepers are strange." Greasy stated blandly.

Slick just nodded and the pair headed back inside, completely somber.

"Some Chicken soups are bad. But Chubba Chunkies isn't. Oh no!! Not bad at all! Some might even go as far as saying it is half decent or even good! But it generally leans more towards the half decent mark." Vegeta sang as he carried Shira and the dragonballs back to their old apartment. He landed on the rooftop and arranged the dragonballs which started reacting instantly. Within a minute a massive dragon sprouted out of the balls with an powerful flash of light and the release of much energy.

"WHO HAS SUMMONED SHENRON, DRAGON OF EARTH!?!" Demanded the dragon.

"I DID!!!" Vegeta hollered. "AND I DEMAND A WISH!!!"

"I SHALL GRANT ONE WISH, IF IT IS WITHIN MY POWER TO GRANT!!" Shenron bellowed.

"I DEMAND TO BE AGED ALONG WITH MY COMPANION!!!" Vegeta yelled.

"IT CAN BE DONE!! TO WHAT AGE DO YOU DEMAND!?"

"19!!"

"THE WORLD SHALL PASS YOU BY BUT YOU WILL BE 19 YEARS OF AGE!! YOUR BODIES SHALL BE KEPT IN KAME'S TOWER, WITHIN THE HYPERBOLIC TIME CHAMBER, NONE SHALL USE IT BUT YOU FOR THIS TIME!!"

"Umm... OK!!!"

There was a great flash and Vegeta, Shira, Shenron and the dragonballs were gone.

End of Chapter

Author's notes: (I'm on a freaken roll!!! Two chapters (albeit short) in one day!! Best of all the series is going the way I want it to!!! YAY!!! Well.. I'll write more later. Bye)

Evan McNeely can be reached at and posts his works at and 


	8. Chapter 8

Spiritual Misadventures

By:Evan McNeely

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my ideas and myself, take them and die.

"Speech" Thoughts Emphasis

(My notes)

Chapter Eight: While We Were Sleeping

Shira blinked as she appeared in a desolate and perfectly white land. Of in the distance she spotted what seemed to be the only thing in this entire area, a fancy looking palace.

"Hmph, looks like someone wasn't able to keep their feet." A hoarse voice said just behind her.

Shira turned quickly to see a vaguely familiar person, standing with his arms crossed in front of his chest. He was turned slightly away from her and smirking. Shira gaped He is the most gorgeous person I have ever seen. Just then a tail flicked out from behind the man and he offered his hand down to her.

"Take the hand of your Prince, Shira." He said as she slowly brought her hand up to his.

Her hand shot back to her chest. "My... My hand.... It's so... big."

The man's smirk grew slightly. "You and I have aged Shira.. We are nineteen... That was my wish."

"Vegeta? Is that you?" Shira asked, sounding stunned.

The man nodded. "I barely recognized you Shira, let's find you a mirror."

Shira nodded, still in complete shock as Vegeta clutched her arm and took off using his chi to fly towards the palace. Shira just let it happen as she watched her long legs dangle. I have grown... and by the looks of it, I'm pretty hot too. She smiled to herself at the realization. But Vegeta... his hair, his eyes... She sighed as Vegeta let he drop to the marble floor of the palace. She pushed up hard and fell backwards, getting a slight laugh from Vegeta. "Vegeta? Why is the air so light here?"

Vegeta chuckled. "The gravity inside the palace is much lighter than outside, in the white area it is ten times heavier. I suppose it aids with training, because if you could fight at full speed in heavier gravity then you'd fight ten times faster in normal gravity or something..."

Shira smiled. "Hmm.. Then we should train in that environment."

Vegeta shrugged. "For what purpose, there is no one to fight but each other."

"WHAT!?!" Shira scoffed. "What about Freeza!?!"

Vegeta waved his hand at Shira and turned away. "There is no problem with Freeza, and Buu has been delayed by my actions again Dabura."

"Buu? Who is Buu?" Shira asked, still steamed that Vegeta could wave off Freeza.

"A demon, or something... he's basically an amorphous blob with three or so forms... I never really cared enough to watch all of that... too much charge up times and 'This move shall end the battle' lines" Vegeta said making a constipated face and putting his hands at his side in a kamehameha position.

Shira blink blinked before continuing her verbal harassment. "But we have to avenge planet Vegeta!! We must stop Freeza's rein of terror!!"

Vegeta chuckled and turned to face Shira. "That's what Kakorotte is for."

"Bardock's son?"

"You know of him?" Vegeta asked, moderately surprised.

"Yeah, though he was the son of a common soldier he was also sent to this planet... we are still on Earth right?" Shira continued when Vegeta nodded. "I asked to be informed of all participants in the mission.. Even if it is a routine destroy the population mission."

Vegeta chuckled. "Well, apparently he didn't do his job... and he's the only one who can beat Freeza and let this timeline progress as it should... I skipped us out of fifteen years for a reason."

"Well, humor me Vegeta. Why did you have us miss out on fifteen years of life when you could have undone Freeza's destruction of your homeworld!" Shira demanded, her anger barely restrained.

Vegeta leaned in and kissed Shira. "One, so I wouldn't feel like a pedophile for doing that." He continued as Shira's face reddened. "And Two, because Kakorotte has more power than I do, he's also a resourceful bastard with a lot of training... though... thinking back on it.. I probably shouldn't have punched out Bulma way back when... That may have messed up something... talking to Roshi may have screwed something up too." Shira gagged at the mention of the perverted martial artist but Vegeta didn't pay any heed. "That and using the wish that Oolong would have used for panties could mess something up too... hmm... maybe I should try and fix my mistakes..." Vegeta said to himself, paling slightly at his errors.

Shira snapped out of her gagging fit and looked longingly at Vegeta. "We can do that later... I have something else in mind for you." She said, raising an eyebrow and posing seductively.

Vegeta nodded. "Yeah, we probably should train. Meet you on the white stuff!!" He yelled as he pushed away and hand sprung out into the white void that surrounded the palace.

Shira sighed and looked down at herself. She was indeed sexy, she had filled out nicely, her hips were curvy and pleasing to the eye, her entire body was well toned with muscles not predominantly enough to make her look rigid or bulky, but firm and well shaped. She walked deeper into the palace and found a mirror in one of the bathrooms. Her lips were full and definitely kissable, Vegeta had proved that to her earlier, she smiled on the memory and continued her self-analysis. Her eyes were almond shaped and a hazel colour that she had always liked and Vegeta had complimented on back on their home planet. Her hair jutted wildly in the front like most saiyan women, a sign on power and chi, and then flowed down to the small of her back, all of it the same raven black. "What doesn't he like?" She asked herself out loud.

"That you were five a couple minutes ago." Vegeta's raspy voice said from behind her.

Shira started and her hand slipped into the sink, causing her to hit her head off the mirror, causing hairline cracks to run in all directions from the impact point on the mirror. Vegeta rushed over as she cradled her head, cursing herself silently. Vegeta took her in his arms and started to cradle her, running one hand through her hair and doting over her sore head. Shira smiled through the stinging pain, Vegeta had changed too, he would've never done this normally.

"My head's fine Vegeta, thanks." She said, putting her hands on Vegeta's muscular chest and pushign slightly away from him.

Vegeta stopped running his hand through her long hair and placed both hands on her hips. It still feels weird that she was five like six minutes ago, but my god is she hot! Vegeta thought to himself. What was I thinking making us nineteen? This can only lead to trouble! Shira leaned forward and arched her neck to kiss Vegeta. But.... maybe this kinda trouble is something I could deal with for now. He in turn leaned in and gave her a quick peck and separated him from her. "You were right Shira, maybe it's up to us to defeat Freeza. We should do some training. I'll meet you on the white stuff... unless you're going to get into another fight with a mirror?" He said jokingly as he started to back away.

Shira shook her head with a smile and followed him as he turned around and started towards the outer area of the hyperbolic time chamber. She took in Vegeta's form as they walked. He hadn't changed as much as she thought, his long brown tail still swished rhythmically behind him. He had gained a lot of muscle mass, his arms and legs had a fine tone to them, not to bulky, built more for the speed of the blows than the power of them. His hair was long, but all of it stuck straight backwards, smaller spikes led up the mass of hair to one cumulative spike which was about twice the size of any of the others, the spikes all seemed slightly wavy, much like his father's she noted. He turned abruptly to face her and courteously gestured that she should proceed first. She smiled at his high hair line and devious smirk. He was wearing a blue jumpsuit with white boots and gloves, she looked herself over and noted that she was wearing the same thing, both tailored to leave nothing to the imagination and hug the body as tightly as possible without restricting any movements.

"After you my lady." Vegeta said, swooping his arms towards the high gravity area of the chamber and preforming a loose bow.

Shira giggled and stepped cautiously out onto the expanse of white only to feel the weight of the higher gravity assault her shoulders and head. She nearly crumpled under the pressure, but managed to keep her footing.

Vegeta followed her, as his back foot touched down on the white his shoulders dropped visibly and he got a look of strain on his face. "Not so easy when you don't fly." He joked, letting out a weak laugh. "Let's stay close to the palace this time, ok?"

Shira nodded, obviously having a more difficult time than Vegeta, who was able to move at a normal pace within a minute. "How do you do that Vegeta?" She asked, forcing one foot in front of the other.

"Did I tell you that I had died shortly after arriving here?" Vegeta asked as he attempted, to no avail, to do a handstand.

Shira cocked an eyebrow. "What? How is that possible?"

"I was brought back to life by dragonballs on another planet... but that's not the important part of the story. The important part is, I lived on a planet with gravity much like this for a time. I trained there with a sort of god... he showed me some techniques and some martial arts and the likes, but most importantly for our situation here is that my body adjusted to the high gravity. It's been a while, but I guess my new muscle mass is still built for this kind of gravity... nice to know Shenron took everything into perspective." Vegeta said reflectively.

Shira grinned and took another staggered step. "It's good to know that the dragon was so thoughtful for you but left me unable to cope with the gravity." She said sardonically.

Vegeta smiled and walked up in front of her. "You didn't have the training for this kind of gravity, the dragon must have wanted you to learn the hard way. You keep at it... I'm going to get something to eat." With that he walked into the palace and out of Shira's view.

Cocky bastard! She thought as she started towards the palace, which was three full steps behind her.

Vegeta appeared seconds later with two sandwiches. "PB and J, hope you enjoy!" He said cheerily as he handed one of the sandwiches to Shira who was still struggling with her last step to the palace.

She stepped up onto the marble flooring of the palace and accepted the sandwich from Vegeta with a tired smile. She took a bite and chewed it for a bit before swallowing. "What is PB and J?" She asked as she took another bite.

Vegeta looked aghast. "WHAT!?! WE DIDN'T HAVE PB AND J ON PLANET VEGETA!?!" He yelled.

Shira stepped back from the bellowing saiyan and replied. "Nope, but it's really good."

Vegeta nodded, still in shock. "PB stands for peanut butter... which is the brown sticky, creamy stuff. J is for Jam, which is the Red goopy stuff with the lumps. The lumps are strawberries."

Shira nodded and took in the new information as well as some more sandwich. "You'll have to make this for me more often... I really like it... especially the jam... the sticky stuff I could do without.. It's all over the roof of my mouth."

Vegeta chuckled. "That's the charm of peanut butter... if it didn't stick to the roof of your mouth it'd just be peanut cream... or butter... or something moderately related..."

Shira looked at him funny and finished off her sandwich. "Well... I'm going to find the bed in this place. Just walking around out there is tough work."

Vegeta nodded and finished off his sandwich as well. "Probably for the best... but you should take a bath first.. Your covered in sweat."

Shira smiled and started towards the bathroom. "Good call. Well, you find the bedroom then."

Vegeta gave her a thumbs up and headed off to wander the palace. It'd be nice if there was two beds, but I don't remember much about the palace... and knowing Shira she'd probably just end up sleeping in my bed anyway... lady just can't keep her hands off me. He stopped, paused, and did his rendition of Marilyn Monroe's blowing up skirt pose and gave a little te he before continuing down the hallway he was currently searching. He opened the nearest door to his left and found a large, soft looking bed. "SHOTTY!!" He bellowed and launched himself into the down covers. Ahh.... beddy bliss. He thought to himself as he took off his gloves and boots. I wonder if I have any underpants under this jumpsuit? He then started to take off his jumpsuit and much to his dismay, ended up naked under the covers. I'm going to be raped in the most pleasurable way tonight. He mentally moaned as he began to drift off.

The next day Vegeta woke up, much to his surprise, without someone straddling him. "Odd..." He said out loud as he sat up in bed. He looked around, and sure enough Shira was sound asleep in the same bed on the other side of the mattress. "Maybe I didn't wake up through it all..." He then shrugged to himself and made his way out of bed and over to what he guessed to be the closet. He apparently guessed right and started leafing through the various one and two piece jump suits and fighting clothes that were hung neatly. He finally settled on loose navy pants, a tight red muscle shirt and a loose over shirt of the same hue as his pants.

"The prince has style." A voice said groggily from the bed.

Vegeta spun around quickly and found himself looking at a very naked Shira holding the blanket up just enough to cover her lower nether region. "Ah.... umm.... you should get something out of here to..." He stammered as he started backing towards the door. "There's some cool stuff in here... umm... I'ma go take a shower..." Vegeta said as he backed out of the room and slammed the door behind him. He stopped himself against the door and tried to get his heart back under control. Why am I actually fighting this? He asked himself as he held one hand over his heart and clutched his shirt. I mean... she's a raging ball of hormones and so am I! Why not let off a little steam with her?... Maybe cause she still sorta kinda has the mind of a 5 year old!... a five year old pervert... but still a five year old... why is it so hard to look at her like a five year old now that she's so hot and my age looking? Vegeta's hands moved up to his hair, which he clutched with much vigor. DAMN ME AND MY WISH MAKING!!! I SHOULD HAVE WISHED TO GO BACK TO THE WAY I WAS OR SOMETHING!! At that moment Vegeta started as a pair of arms snaked their way around his neck and something firm pressed against his back. He felt warm breath up against his left cheek.

"Morning Vegeta... were you waiting for me to have that shower with you?" Shira asked innocently.

Fight it man! FIGHT IT!! Vegeta thought, battling with his libido. "Um... no... just ah.... wanted to see what you wanted for breakfast... yeah... breakfast..."

Shira kissed his cheek and smiled. "Ahh... you want to make me breakfast, that's so sweet... very un-saiyan, but sweet."

Vegeta slumped and Shira let off a little slack on her hug. "I'm not saiyan... we really need to talk about our situation.... like... nowish... over bacon and eggs... and some coffee... I haven't had coffee since I died the first time."

Shira's smile brightened and she released Vegeta from her hug. "Sounds like a plan... though I like this way of acting... it's refreshing... not having to constantly fight, no pressure to hide emotions... it's freeing."

Vegeta nodded and re-composed himself. "Well.. I promised you bacon and eggs.. So bacon and eggs you shall get."

"Great!... but what's bacon and eggs? Is it like PB and J?" Shira asked, sounding excited.

"Not really... a lot of these foods you'll just have to try for yourself." Vegeta said as he led the way to the kitchen.

"Ok. Lead on my Prince!" Shira said, pointing forwards and following Vegeta in a mock march.

That wish did something to Shira... she's not all about killing villagers any more... it's like Shenron changed her as though she had lived the fifteen years on a peaceful Earth... It's kinda refreshing... I'm still not going to marry her any time soon... but it's definitely a nice change! Vegeta thought as his trademark smirk crept across his face. Well... onwards to breakfast.

End of Chapter

Autor's Notes: (Due to inspiration, SM is getting finished in record time! YAY ME!!! I hope everyone enjoys what I'm doing with Shira and Vegeta... The Hyperbolic Time Chamber aging thing will be explained soon, as will the reasons for Shenron not just instantly aging Vegeta and Shira on the spot... so umm... MORE IN THE NEXT EXCITING CHAPTER OF SPIRITUAL MISADVENTURES!!!!... I always wanted to say that...)

Evan McNeely can be reached at and posts his work at and he also knows you people are reading this and suggests you review and toss in your two cents so he knows he's not just writing for a small but important group of people.


	9. Chapter 9

Spiritual Misadventures

By:Evan McNeely

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my ideas and myself, take them and die.

"Speech" Thoughts Emphasis

(My notes)

Chapter Nine: Side Story

Slick and Greasy walked home dejected. "We didn't get his money Greasy..." Slick said, his head hanging limp to his chest.

Greasy moaned. "Nope... he sure fooled us too... we couldn't even rob that convenience store with our jumping powers...."

Slick let out a similar moan. "Nope... the guy just laughed at us and told us to piss off before he called the cops... I can still hear his haunting laughter."

"We've been had Slick.... We've been had..."

Slick just nodded. How could we have been so wrong 'bout that kid being the keeper? It was so perfect, he had crazy jumping skills just like grandma said the keeper might have... the keeper had so much power.... and powers like money sorta... and the kid had lotsa money...

Greasy groaned. "Why not end it all?... the quest for the keeper... the dragonbail... everything.."

Slick turned to his friend, a strange fire burned in his eyes. "Because we failed once means we won't fail again!!!" Slick hollered, startling his friend. "When I failed grade 1, I didn't fail the next time... did I!?" He demanded.

"Nope... you were the best at nap time in the whole school." Greasy affirmed.

Slick nodded. "And Grade 2? Same question."

"Nope... you passed addition better than even that nerd kid did." Greasy said, sounding more confident.

"High school?"

Greasy's face drooped back into a depressed look. "You dropped out."

Slick smiled. "I tried to drop out once and what happened?"

Greasy cocked an eyebrow, intrigued at where his friend was going with his recent comment. "Your Grandma beat the crap out of you till you went back."

"And the second time I tried to drop out?"

"You dropped out successfully... your Grandma hit you till she passed out from the pain the arthritis caused, but you stayed out of school!" Greasy said, sounding cheery.

Slick gave his friend the wink gun (consisting of making the gun shape with your hand and winking at the person as you 'shoot' them with your gun hand). "That's right!! TWO TIMES THE CHARM!!!"

With that Greasy and Slick preformed their classic high five. Once they were grounded again Greasy began to look skeptical again. "But how are we gonna get the dragonbail? We've been looking for like fifteen years and we've spent almost all of that time skulking around cause we didn't get no super jumping powers!" He exclaimed.

"Don't worry my buddy! I've got a doodad that'll fix our problems!" Slick said as he produced a white, circular device with a green LCD grid on the front there were seven glowing dots spread out all over the screen.

"A.... dragonbail finder?" Greasy asked, dumbfounded. "How'd ja get it?"

"Found it on top a some apartment building." Slick said proudly. "I was gonna test if my jumping power would work off a high place... like maybe I could bounce or something... then I got distracted by this thingy... I took it to Capsule Corp the next day and they told me it'd find dragon's balls."

"Why would anyone wanna find a dragon's nuts?" Greasy asked.

Slick just shrugged. "I dunno... them scientists are weird. But anywho... I figured out that the 'dragon's balls' was scientist slang for dragonbail."

Greasy looked at his friend in awe. "How'd ja figure that out Slick?" He asked, his mouth agape.

"My own logical thinking... I figured... scientists are weird... and like dragon testicles... but what would a dragon want the most as bail for another dragon?... the answer... His balls!! I'd trade my balls for someone who was in jail no second guessen!" Slick said nodding furiously .

Greasy nodded as well, but slower. "Yeah.. I guess that makes sense... so let's get started on finding this dragon's balls."

Slick nodded. "Yeah, let's go. Grandma has one again, so we only need to find six."

"It's kinda weird how your grandma keeps gettin dragon's balls Slick." Greasy said, cocking an eyebrow at his friend.

Slick just grabbed an imaginary cock an started to suck it looking at his buddy with a half smile on his face. "That's how she gets em." He said as he finished his invisible fellatio.

"You're grandma's a slut." Greasy said without skipping a beat

"Yup... but it pays for the house." Slick said, completely unfazed. "But's it's kinda weird she'd suck off a dragon with seven balls... and the fact that he numbers them..."

Greasy shuddered. "Freaky. Well... let's get a move on... that dragon's rocks ain't gonna come to us."

And with that Slick and Greasy began their quest for the Dragonballs.

Back in the hyperbolic time chamber, Vegeta narrowly ducked under a punch Shira had just thrown. He responded with a sweeping kick in an attempt to trip the female saiyan who jumped it and threw a kick of her own aimed at the saiyan prince's head. He blocked with his forearm, but the power of the kick sent him skidding five feet away. Using the distance to gain momentum he lunged at Shira, punching at her mid-section. Vegeta connected with nothing as Shira sidestepped and kicked catching Vegeta in the ribs and winding him as well as sending him slightly airborne. Shira took the opportunity and leapt into the air above Vegeta and brought her elbow down on his back, sending him plummeting to the ground. He ungracefully connected with the ground, skidding away from Shira a good ten feet before he forced himself to get up and lunge again at the falling girl. His punch was blocked and the pair started to exchange blows while still airborne, the momentum of their battle and their chi keeping them at a slow drift downwards. Neither one of them gained any advantage over the other, then Vegeta pushed away and launched a light chi ball, which Shira deflected away with a well timed backhand. Shira gracefully touched down and got into a loose fighting pose. Vegeta smiled and did the same, wiping away the bloody saliva that had dribbled down his chin, he then spat away from Shira.

"Wanna call it old timer?" Shira asked.

Vegeta grinned. "Hardly."

With that Shira lunged towards Vegeta, who vanished from sight, causing Shira to stop abruptly. Vegeta grinned as he tapped Shira on the shoulder and drove his knee into her back. She crumpled to the floor, landing on her hands and knees. Vegeta hopped backwards to avoid retaliation. "I would've had you there... the fight would've ended... so I'll end it for today."

Shira coughed against the back of her hand, and when she found no blood got up. "Fair enough... are we going to talk about you being Evan again? I found that kinda interesting."

Vegeta grinned as he set foot on the marble flooring of the palace. "Maybe... but you've got the basics of what happened... I got shot, so I died... something happened with a catapult thingy and I got launched here... now I'm Vegeta, and I live this life... I guess I didn't need to tell you, but I thought it'd help you understand where I'm coming from."

Shira smiled, a smile Vegeta was coming to cherish. "It has helped... I've backed off a bit if you've noticed."

Vegeta nodded as the pari entered the kitchen. "Yes, you've been very good about being on your side of the bed and not hitting on me half as much as before."

"Good... I'm glad you noticed." She said with a laugh. "Though at this age most saiyans would be copulating like mad.... I wouldn't be surprised if Kakorotte has like three children by the time we leave here... when do we leave anyway?"

"In a couple more months... we've been in here like what? Four? Five months now? So seven more months should do it." Vegeta said as he started to make some peanut butter and jam sandwiches. "And I don't envy Kakorotte at all for what he has to bed."

"Kakorotte has an ugly lover?" Shira asked, intrigued to hear more about her world from Vegeta's series knowledge.

"Not ugly... just domineering... At one point she demands, even though he can fly, that he learn to drive!" Vegeta exclaimed, chuckling to himself.

"Like... a spaceship? Do they even have spaceships on this primitive world?" Shira asked curiously.

Vegeta smirked. "Yeah.. They have pretty decent spaceships... nothing at all like our pods, and nothing as grand as Freeza's ship... but Kakorotte wasn't learning to drive a spaceship rather he was to learn to drive a car..." He paused as Shira gave him a befuddled look. "Umm... how to explain this... a land based vehicle capable of travel at speeds greater than running."

Shira laughed heartily. "So Kakorotte's lover wanted him to use a car instead of flying? Did he kill her for her ignorance or something suiting like that?"

"No... he ended up racing a Namekian, a good friend of his named Piccolo, and when they both crashed their cars the instructors failed them both. Chi-Chi, Kakorotte's wife, didn't ask him to learn to drive again." Vegeta said as he ate his sandwich.

Shira contemplated this. "Kakorotte seems to have adopted the softness of your former race Vegeta... I'd almost think someone else died and took over his body."

Vegeta shook his head. "Nope, but like you originally thought with me, He hit his head during the crash."

Shira nodded. "Makes sense." She said as she finished off her sandwich.

Well.. She hasn't fully changed. Vegeta noted as he started towards the bathroom. I guess that's a good thing though... the aging process didn't completely warp her personality. He then began absentmindedly stripping down in the hallway leading up to the bathroom, being as uncaring about his nudity as Shira seemed to be.

Shira watched him go. Once we get out of here I'll have to find this Kakorotte... If he's half as strong as Vegeta keeps telling me, he'll be a great match to celebrate our new age... Raditz and Nappa should be wandering around out there too... I hope they didn't destroy too much of this world... I'm starting to get a soft spot for it... Shira thought as she started to wash the knives used to make the sandwiches. Of course... Goku and his friends could just take care of it, providing Vegeta is right about them... although if they did fight Nappa or Radditz.. I'm sure the bald Krillen one would die, judging by what Vegeta told me. She thought to her self as she dried the dishes. She heard the shower turn on down the hall and sighed. Why won't he let me be with him the way I want to?... Oh well... I have seven months to change his mind and if I have to go naked for seven months just to provoke him into the sack I'll do it! She thought as a determined look set across her face. Wow... my mind has aged... before all I could think about is getting a wedding band on his finger... now all I want is some bed play... strange... not unwelcome, but definitely strange. Shira then went to the bedroom to ponder this more as Vegeta continued his shower.

End of Chapter

Author's Notes: (Romance!! Comedy!! Fighting!! What more could anyone want!?! Death? Dismemberment? Dismemberment of Death? Romantic Fighting?.... that I could do... lol... none the less.. SM is continuing as planned... getting a little out of hand with the Shira/Vegeta side, but Slick and Greasy is going better than planned... everything is coming so well to me right now... hence the 2 chapters in a day kinda flow... I'll work on the length of the chapters next... but until then you may bask in my frequent updates. Peace out.)

Evan McNeely can be reached at and posts his work on and 


	10. Chapter 10

Spiritual Misadventures

By: Evan McNeely

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my ideas and myself, take them and die.

"Speech" Thoughts Emphasis

(My notes)

Chapter Ten: Exit Chamber.

Vegeta grinned as he flexed in front of a dressing mirror, a habit he had started a short time ago, but was catching with him. "I'm, too sexy for my tail!! Too sexy for my tail!! Too sexy that I don't believe it!!" He sang as loudly as his raspy voice allowed. I really am one sexy beast! If I looked anything like this back when I was human I'd be like... a movie star or something... Like Bruce Lee!! With that he did his best high pitched Bruce Lee scream followed by a series of kicks and punches. He then turned away from the mirror and started walking out of the room, only to be drawn, almost magnetically, back to the mirror where he flexed for himself once more. I'm a conceited fuck. He mentally stated before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

He smiled as he walked by a confused looking Shira who had apparently just been running. "Hey." He said as he walked towards the kitchen. I'll let her wonder. He thought to himself, happy to have a secret after sharing so much with Shira over the time they had been in the Time Chamber.

Shira just watched him go. What was that about? She wondered as she started out to the lovingly dubbed 'White Stuff' to hone her skills further. There was a week left before the door to the Chamber opened and she wanted to be as prepared for the upcoming challenges she expected to face. Vegeta on the other hand apparently thought himself above training and spent his time alone in the kitchen cooking or drinking coffee, occasionally jotting things down or drawing whatever caught his attention. Shira shrugged thoughts of Vegeta's strange behavior off as part of his new personality and stepped into the white stuff to begin to do some warm ups.

Vegeta was in the kitchen, drinking a large cup of coffee and thinking. I've completely snubbed Shira for the whole time I've been in here... actually.. I've snubbed her the whole time I've known her! He thought as he downed some java. But I've gotten to know her a bit better... and she does seem to be more mature than her five year old counter part... a bit of a nympho, but none the less... I suppose I should start to 'encourage' our relationship... I mean... who else in the world would date a sexy guy with a tail?.... But then again, I am considering dating a sexy girl with a tail... But I have a tail, and accept and love my tail... so that makes me a tail guy... which means I can date a tail girl! Which means she can date me, cause I have a tail... and the fact that we're engaged might come into it too... but I'll work on that later... right now I have a craving to fight her... must be the saiyan blood. Vegeta thought with a smile as he drained the rest of his coffee and started off towards the white stuff.

Slick grinned as he set two dragonballs on his bed. "Marky mark didn't stand a chance." He said.

Greasy wiped some blood off his baseball bat and nodded. "Yeah... but did we really have to beat him up that bad? I mean.. He's in intensive care."

Slick nodded vigorously. "Part of the plan Greasy... all part of the plan. If we hadn't stopped Marky mark violently he mighta kept after the dragonbail... how he got this one I'll never know."

Greasy smirked and sucked on an invisible cock.

Slick nodded his agreement. "Gotta be... Marky mark is a gay name... so he musta loved the seven balled cock."

"Just like your grandma!" Greasy chipped in enthusiastically.

"Yup... now then.. Where is this next dragon nut?" He asked himself as he produced the dragonradar from a pocket in his leather jacket. He studied the device for a solid minute with Greasy hovering over his shoulder. "Looks like it's out in the desert." He finally said as he slipped the radar back into the pocket he produced it from.

Greasy smiled. "Let's go jack a car and find it!"

"I like your thinking Greasy." Slick said as he patted his buddy on the shoulder and guided him out of their secret hideout in his mom's basement.

"So I've been thinking." Vegeta said as he got into a fighting stance. "Maybe I've been an asshole about you and me."

Shira smiled as she got into a similar pose. "Maybe?" She asked, scanning Vegeta for any signs of weakness in his current stance.

"Funny... but I agree... I've been stupid to ignore what could have been a good relationship." Vegeta said, shifting slightly.

Shira lunged at him, swinging a seemingly wild punch at his mid-section. Vegeta moved to counter it and was caught off guard when she spun and kicked high at his head. He narrowly ducked and threw a flurry of punches at he exposed side. She caught the first one hard and moved to avoid the others. She stopped a few feet away from him. "And there would've been lots of sex." She said cheerily, wincing slightly from the pain in her side.

Vegeta waved it off. "Sex isn't a good base for a relationship... especially one that has been predetermined to end in marriage."

"So you are going to marry me?" Shira asked, genuinely surprised.

"I suppose so... but I'd like to get to you better before I join you in saiyanly matrimony, and I mean out of the sack." Vegeta said, as he prepared to strike.

"Probably for the best." Shira responded with a smirk that mimicked Vegeta's.

"Yup." He grunted as he hopped into the air and launched a volley of chi blasts, which Shira deftly avoided responding with a chi beam.

Vegeta smirked and knocked the beam away with the back of his hand. Shira frowned. "Well... we only have a week left here, then we have to find a place in the outside world."

Vegeta nodded as he floated to the ground. "We're going to need money... you spent all of my earnings on furniture. Children's Aid must have given it to charity, or whatever crazy thing they do with missing kid's stuff.... or it might be at Roshi's."

Shira shivered. "I'm never going back there."

"Well like it or not, he has probably got some nice drapes and I'd like to get those back... course I'd sell em and all that other stuff you bought and settle down somewhere decent while we plan out our next move... aka jobs." Vegeta said as he touched down and started inside.

Shira followed him towards the palace. "We could fight in tournaments like you used to." She suggested.

Vegeta shook his head. "You don't know what it's like in those things. Nobody is a challenge and they give you soup for prizes." He said blandly as he headed towards the bedroom Shira still in tow.

"Didn't you say that the adult division won a house?" She asked, catching Vegeta's attention.

"You're damn right I did!! We could win a freaken house!!" He yelled, pumping his fists in the air.

"And we could furnish our house with my tasteful purchases!" Shira offered.

"No... you blew my money on that stuff.. I'd like to spend some of it on what I want... The table, and chairs and essentials we'll keep cause they were kinda nice... but everything else goes towards whatever I want to recklessly spend money on... like cheese wheels... and alcohol."

Shira stared blankly at Vegeta. "What?"

"You heard me... cheese wheels and alcohol.... a mighty combination." Vegeta responded, putting his hands on his hips and looking self-important.

Shira just shook her head. "Whatever Vegeta." She said, sounding exasperated.

Vegeta smiled and watched as Shira made her way inside the palace. I'd say that went well.

"That guy's got it." Slick said, motioning for Greasy to look over the rock that the pair were hiding behind.

Greasy stood up quickly and noticed a man asleep on the ground not five feet away. Greasy ducked back behind the rock and huddled up near Slick. "So whatcha wanna do about him?" The shiny chinned hoodlum asked his friend.

Slick motioned to the car they had stolen earlier in the day. "Let's run him over."

Greasy smiled. "Sounds fun!"

With that the pair ran back to their car and turned it on. "Ready?" Slick asked.

"Engines to power... Turbines to speed..." Greasy said with a smile.

"LET'S GO!!!" The pair then began their best rendition of the Batman theme song as Slick avoided a few boulders and finally lined up their prey.

"WHAT THE HECK!?!" Yamcha yelled as he awoke abruptly from a deep sleep to find a car hurdling towards him at 'ramming speed'. The desert wolf snapped to his feet and stood his ground against the oncoming car. As the vehicle approached he leapt into the air, narrowly avoiding the front bumper. He landed deftly on top of the car and clung to either side of it as he pressed his body flat to the roof.

"HE'S ON THE ROOF SLICK!!!" A voice yelled from inside the car.

"I KNOW!!! I'MA SHAKE HIM!!!" The voice that Yamcha assumed was 'Slick's' replied frantically.

At that moment both doors opened and two leather clad men hopped out of either side, the car still moving at full speed. Yamcha looked forward. He screamed.

Slick and Greasy watched as the car hurdled off the side of a steep cliff, the strange man still grasping the car for dear life. They brushed themselves off, then brushed each other off. The pari then walked, perfectly in sync, to the cliff. They shielded their eyes as the car impacted with the ground, sending the man flying a few feet away face first along the jagged ground. Slick and Greasy smiled broadly as the car's gas tank then ruptured, causing a massive explosion and sending shards of metal flying everywhere. The man got caught up in the blast wave of the explosion and was tossed further, flame and metal at his heels. He landed sharply against a jutting boulder and it seemed as though he popped. Slick and Greasy noted the spray of red ushering forth from the man's chest, mouth and just about everywhere else on his person.

"I guess we best check if he had the dragon's nut on him." Greasy said, turning to his friend.

Slick nodded and checked his dragonradar. He grinned as he pointed back to where the man had been sleeping. "He left it back where we tried to hit him."

Greasy smiled. "He made it so easy for us."

Slick nodded as the pair went back to Yamcha's makeshift camp and retrieved not one, but two golden orbs from a backpack nearby. They put them back in the pack and started back towards Orange Star City, but not before raiding any supplies they thought they'd need for the long trek back. "Well... time for a lovely jog home." Slick said as he patted his friend on the back and led him in the direction of his mom's house.

Vegeta grinned as he stepped out of the hyperbolic time chamber and into the high rise that was Kame's Lookout. The week had past with few events, he and Shira were still not have sex, due solely to his abstinence, and had developed a decent relationship. "AHH!!! Real air!" Vegeta breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly seeming to deflate completely.

Shira stepped out of the time chamber to find Vegeta almost bent completely over and breathing out heavily. "What are you doing Vegeta?" She asked as she scratched the back of her head.

Vegeta took in a breath and snapped upright. He turned around and smiled. "Taking my first breath of real air in 15 years!" He exclaimed as he abruptly turned back around and started wandering about the lookout.

"What an odd man Vegeta has become." Shira muttered to herself as she started to follow Vegeta, not knowing of any other alternatives.

Vegeta suddenly stopped when he noticed a coal black man in Arabian garb tailing a green skinned man dressed in layers of what seemed to be sheets covering jutting shoulder pads. Vegeta swiftly flew up behind the pair, who turned as though they knew he was there the whole time. "Popo!!... Kame!! How's it going!?!"

The green skinned man looked at his Arabian companion quizzically. "How does he know our names?" He whispered as the Arabian drew closer.

"I don't know." The Arabian responded in a jolly sort of deep voice.

"Hmm..." The green skinned man responded before he motioned for the Arabian to step back. "How do you know our names?" He asked, directing his question at Vegeta.

"Simple Kame... I'm not of this world." Vegeta responded smiling broadly.

"Yes yes, I can tell by the tail. But that adds more intrigue as to how you procured the knowledge of our names." The green man said.

"Ask King Kai." Vegeta said simply.

"Fine... I'll do just that." The green man stated. King Kai? He mentally asked, probing into the area where King Kai's planet was.

Yes, what is it Kame? King Kai responded after a brief moment.

There is a young man here who told me to ask you how he knows my name. Any idea who he is and how he knows my name? Kame telepathically queried.

Ask him his name. King Kai responded.

"What is your name?" Kame asked of Vegeta.

"Vegeta... or Evan... either is acceptable." Evan/Vegeta said.

He says 'Evan or Vegeta'. Kame told King Kai.

Oh... him... I was wondering what happened to him... he never contacts me anymore... Oh well... he knows your name because in his universe we are all cartoon characters... He knew all my tests before I said them... and I keep my tests secret. King Kai said, sounding slightly bitter over the test knowing incident.

"So... you're from another universe then?" Kame finally asked of Evan/Vegeta.

"That's right. I know the majority of what has and will happen in this universe." Vegeta responded proudly as Shira walked up to his side.

"And who is she? She has a tail like your's... is she from your universe as well?" Kame asked motioning towards Shira.

"We are the same race, but I am the only one from my universe. I took over this body long ago, hence my dual name." Evan said.

"So what should I call you?" Kame asked.

"Vegeta is fine... I've grown used to being called that." Vegeta replied with a smirk.

" King Kai said you took his tests... that would mean you've died... how is it that you were revived... the dragonballs were used last 15 years ago to age someone."

Vegeta's smirk grew. "I used the dragonballs to age my companion and me. The Namekian dragonballs were used to revive me."

"Interesting.. I assume that you were responsible for the disturbance with the hyperbolic time chamber?" Kame said, more of a statement than a question.

Vegeta nodded. "For some reason Shira and I were held in stasis for fourteen of fifteen years and lived one year in the chamber. Shenron was unclear of his reasoning behind locking us there instead of just aging us."

Kame smiled as the conversation turned to something he knew and his visitor did not. "Shenron is unable to break the time stream for a single person... he could break it for the universe, speeding up or reversing time for the entire galaxy but not for one person. There are rumors that a supreme set of dragonballs are able to break the time stream for one person but that is ancient Namekian lore. I suppose Shenron just deposited you in the hyperbolic time chamber where time is already out of order and used it's magic to preserve your minds but age your bodies. So thinking on this your minds have aged only two weeks and a day while your bodies have aged to about twenty or so." He said, holding his chin as he rationalized for Shenron.

"But why were we in there for the additional year? That's the part that really gets me." Vegeta said tapping his foot as he took in the information Kame was providing.

"I suppose that would be because the time chamber must be used for a year before the door can open." Kame said with a ponderous look on his aged face.

Vegeta nodded. "But even still, we had been in there for 15 years... that's like..."

"5500 years, give or take a couple hundred. I know.. But your mind only inhabited the time chamber for 2 weeks prior to being reunited with your body hence the necessary one year period.. The mind and body must be both present for the time chamber to properly work, it is unable to age just one or the other unless Shenron or a powerful magic like Shenron disrupts it." Kame said pondering the power of Shenron.

"Huh... ok... I guess that makes sense." Vegeta said, dumbfounded by the logic.

"Yes well... we can talk of this later... perhaps you can tell me more of the events that will be happening in this universe." Kame said, leading Vegeta into the main building of the lookout.

Later that same night.

"YAMCHA!! I'M BACK!! I FOUND US SOME FOOD AND SUPPLIES!!!" A cheery voice squeaked from behind a rock as a blue fuzzy creature hovered out from behind that very rock.

"Yamcha? Where are you Yamcha?" It asked as it looked around where it and his best friend had been camping out and planing their next location. Desert thieves like Yamcha and it needed to stay on the move to avoid law enforcement.

"Where'd he go?" The cute blue thing asked it's self as it scanned the area. "Tire tracks? Where'd they come from?" It queried looking around at the tracks and eventually following them to a nearby cliff. Yamcha had liked sleeping near cliffs, that way he could try to lure anyone after them there and knock them off. The blue thing looked over the edge and gasped. It floated down the side of the cliff to the car wreck. "What happened here?" It asked looking around some more. It gasped again and rushed off towards where a very broken Yamcha was plastered to a rock. His face was barely recognizable and he was wearing only shreds of clothing all of it covered in dried crusty blood. The blue thing started to weep as he checked for a pulse and found none. It hung it's head and sobbed for the rest of the night, Yamcha was dead.

End of Chapter.

Author's notes: (HA! Killed off a main character in the original series. Timelines are messed up now... anywho... expect another chapter shortly as Spiritual Misadventures continues it's crazy run!!)

Evan McNeely can be reached at and posts his work at and not so much at 


	11. Chapter 11

Spiritual Misadventures

By: Evan McNeely

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my ideas and myself, take them and die.

"Speech" Thoughts Emphasis

(My notes)

Chapter Eleven: After Much Deliberation.

"So Kame..." Vegeta started. "How is it that you were released? I mean, someone had to pop open the bottle thingy with Piccolo inside right?" Vegeta continued after Kame nodded. "So then, someone also had to have killed the original Piccolo and his hench-demons."

Kame nodded again. "That's right, a young boy named Goku defeated the demon I originated from."

"Goku? So everything is on course in this world after all..." Vegeta said mainly to himself as he stroked his chin.

"I suppose so." Kame replied.

"But how was the bottle opened? I destroyed the Red Ribbon army. Wasn't it them who opened the bottle, or was it that Emperor Pilaf... or was Pilaf from the Red Ribbon army... I'm getting all my facts mixed up..." Vegeta said, as he stared blankly into space.

Kame shrugged. "I don't know... but either way, things must be going as you expected seeing as myself and Popo are here."

"I suppose so... but the future is not so easy to predict now... countless things could have been altered in the slightest way making for a horrible outcome now!" exclaimed Vegeta.

Kame pondered for a moment before speaking. "But the general events will still happen... big things that couldn't be affected by the goings on of Earth." He said matter-of-factly.

"Again, I suppose so... but I'm only supposing here... I can't be sure until I actually encounter the event... like Freeza destroying Namek..." Vegeta said, as he began to pace not noticing Kame's suddenly pale appearance.

"Someone is going to destroy Namek!?" Kame exclaimed.

Vegeta nodded. "Yes... it's name is Freeza... It will insist that it's a male... but don't believe it..." Vegeta then leaned close to the Namekian. "Transvestite." He whispered in Kame's ear.

"Namek is going to be destroyed by a transvestite?" Kame said, bring his voice near a yell but not quite.

Vegeta just nodded again. "But Goku will destroy it... He'll need to go to Namek to find the dragonballs someone is going to tell him about... I forget who though... tricky memory... always fails when I need it most then when I'm sleeping or eating cereal I scream out what I forgot, spilling cereal everywhere!... But none the less... I think I might have to take a guiding role in this universe... with my knowledge of what should have happened I can adjust what is going to happen... course... Trunks is never going to be born.... but I'd be kinda pleased to make that happen... always had a soft spot for chicks with blue hair..." Vegeta said as he began to daydream of wooing Bulma and then coming to the realization that he had punched her out many years ago. "...Oh... I hope she forgets that..." He said to himself.

Kame's powerful hearing picked up Vegeta's conversation. "Hope she forgets what?" He asked, sounding worried.

"Well umm... I kinda punched out this girl I was supposed to impregnate to get a dragonradar off her without too much hassle... and umm... the child of my mad passionate love would eventually.... kinda warn us all of a great threat to the world... and aaaa..... play a crucial part in stopping the threat.... but hey I kicked Red Ribbon's ass... so no Dr.Gero!!!" Vegeta said doing his best impression of the Fonz.

Kame blink blinked. "It seems your knowledge of our world has not stopped you in the least from dooming us." Kame shook his head and closed his eyes, his old brow furrowing in thought. "None the less... as the guardian of this planet I charge you with the task of setting as much of our universe back into order so that events can play themselves out without further disruption." Kame then walked over to Vegeta. "As my charge you are to wear clothing much like my own." The old Namekian said, thrusting his hand out to Vegeta and producing a purple gi, shoulder pads, a billowing cape and a turban. As instantly as he produced them they were on Vegeta.

"H-how..." Vegeta stammered.

"I'll show you the technique. You can use it to take off or put on the cape and shoulder pads... which are weighted quite heavily. It will keep you on your toes and reveal you to those that know me as one of my charges... of course there is only one or two people who will question you about your uniform... One of them being my other half, Piccolo." Kame said, wincing at the name. "But none the less you should seek out Piccolo and ask him to train you in whatever meditation and combat techniques he knows... the meditation should allow you to sort things out and remember what you have forgotten, the combat techniques may or may not prove useful, depending on how active a role you wish to play in this world's history." Kame said as he began to demonstrate the technique to remove the cape and store it in some sort of pocket dimension.

Vegeta watched carefully and then paused. "But.. Um... don't you and Piccolo hate each other?"

Kame smiled faintly. "Yes.. In a manner of speaking we do hate each other... although I think hate is to strong a word for our feud... no one can truly hate himself... I do not hate Piccolo... I see him as a manifestation of my dark side, but I do not hate him. For without the dark there can be no light... or so I've discovered." Kame said sagely as he finished demonstrating the simple technique.

Vegeta shrugged and performed the technique without to much error and smiled when he was just wearing the purple gi. "I guess... oh well.. Where can I find the 'manifestation of your dark side'?" Vegeta asked, making quote marks in the air.

Kame smiled. "I'll leave that to you... you must find out everything in this world if you are to fix it to some semblance of the way it should be."

Vegeta shook his head. "You are a crotchety old man Kame... but I'll search out Piccolo and learn these techniques... well... I suppose that does it then... I'll be off." Vegeta said as he walked out of the palace leaving a ponderous Kame to his thoughts.

As Vegeta stepped outside he saw Shira sitting on the edge of the lookout, her feet dangling out over the edge. He smirked and walked up behind her. She turned and looked back at him as he approached. "How'd your meeting go?" She asked as she patted the floor just to her right.

Vegeta declined the invitation with a shake of his head. "Not bad... I'm in charge of fighting all the baddies that would threaten the universe..."

"Huh... sounds fun... can I join?" Shira asked.

"I dunno... I think there's a dress code." Vegeta said, motioning to his new clothes.

"I'd look dumb in purple... I'll just tag along unofficially." Shira said with a smile. "The purple looks nice."

Vegeta frowned and donned his cape, much to the surprise of Shira. "Well... let's get the hell outta here." He said, taking off from the side of the lookout and flying ahead of Shira.

"Where'd he pull that cape from?" Shira asked herself as she followed suit.

Slick grinned disturbingly as he set the recently acquired dragonballs down on his bed along with the other two. "Four of seven... then alls we gotta do is find the real keeper... Where's the next one at?" He wondered out loud as he pulled the dragonradar from his jacket pocket.

Greasy mimicked Slick's odd grin and leaned in close over his buddy's shoulder to get a better look at the LCD display of the radar. "Where is it?" Greasy asked as Slick shouldered him back to get some breathing room.

"Pretty far away by the looks of it." Slick said as he started to head outside.

Greasy followed along, keeping a respectful distance. "What direction?"

Slick just pointed in a random direction, knowing full well that neither of them knew which direction it would be. "That a way." He said as the pair began after the fifth dragonball.

Puar groaned as he staggered into Orange Star City. He had been following the tracks of two men on foot, one of them dripping some kind of greasy liquid. Originally Puar thought that it meant that he was following a pair of robots, but decided that he must just be following one robot and some other guy because the non grease dripping one had a strange path weaving as though drunk. The grease dripping one on the other hand had tracks that almost matched the other's perfectly, hinting at a robot or cyborg. At least, that's what the blue shape shifter suspected. He hadn't been able to confirm anything from Yamcha's death site nor the tracks, and he certainly hadn't seen either one of them. Puar moaned in frustration and fatigue as he entered the city limits and was forced to follow the track of grease alone as the dust of the desert became the cement of the city. He continued for an hour and then decided to rest for the night as it was getting dark and he was tired. Alone, he passed out amongst the trash cans in an alley behind a Chinese food restaurant.

End of Chapter

Author's Notes: (Back on track... inspiration is flowing like water... in like.. A river or something.... anywho... what I mean to say is I've been getting things done... I have actually finished a character sketch of the lovely couple (Shira and Vegeta, not Slick and Greasy) and will eventually get that scanned if my school has the apparatus... if not... um... you'll never see it... and if the school does have a scanner I'll be getting a website, or a deviant art account and either way I'll link to it on my profile page... just FYI... on that note... I'll gladly accept fan art... wink wink... nudge nudge... so that I can fill out an otherwise would be empty site.... which I will be making in the next short period of a couple days.... so yeah... that's all from me... Bye for now.)

Evan McNeely can be reached at and strongly requests that you add him on MSN if you already haven't as he is so very lonely.... oh and he posts his work on as well as on which... now that I mention it, is my first fanfic EVER!!! If you want to know what my writing was like before I became the writer I am now... check that out... or just... um... read the first three chapters of SM.... which I still need to fix.... stupid in between asterisks blanking out so no one can tell what I'm saying to King Kai as Lin Shong breaks his fist on my manly body.... so lonely.


	12. Chapter 12

Spiritual Misadventures

By: Evan McNeely

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my own ideas... and sometimes I don't even own them... they own me...

lovely note + is replacing asterix cause asterix is on strike or something or not supported... hates the nasty hobbitses

Chapter Twelve: The Break is over

"YOU!" A raspy voiced called out in the darkness. "GIVE IT BACK!"

"What are you talking about?" A second voice queried. "Give what back?"

"You know... you stole it from me..." The voice said in a hollow tone.

"No... I actually don't know what you are talking about." The second voice responded sounding confused.

"Hmph! I guess it doesn't matter... It'll only be a short time before I have it back." The raspy voice said.

"WHAT WILL YOU HAVE BACK! YOU ARE REALLY STARTING TO PISS ME OFF!"

"My body..."

Vegeta woke up in a cold sweat. "Holy shit that was a vivid dream." He said to himself as he sat up. "I wonder who that second voice was?" He pondered to himself as he pulled himself out of the double sleeping bag he and Shira had bought before attempting to find Piccolo. He got up and walked to the lake that the pair had picked out as the first spot to check. +Yeah.. Like Piccolo would be at a lake... he always seemed more of a foresty, mountainy guy.+ He thought to himself as he began to wade into the lake. "I hope there aren't leeches in here."

Puar groaned as he woke up in a pile of cooling Lo Mein. He stretched out and assumed the form of Yamcha. +I should blend in better looking like a human.+ He thought to himself as he wiped the last bits of MSG laced food from his face. +I hope the trail is still relatively fresh.+ With that he headed out to the bustling city street in search of a trail of dried grease.

"We got another one Greasy!" Slick said as he held the 5 star dragonball over the badly bludgeoned head of the poor fool who happened to find that particular shiny rock.

"How many more do we gotta get?" Greasy asked his companion in all things platonic.

"Well this is our fifth one and there is seven..." Slick said pondering the mathematical equation.

"So four more?" Greasy asked.

"Yeah, something like that." Slick said as he patted his friend on the back and smeared some of their victim's blood on Greasy's leather jacket.

"Cool.. Where's the dragonbail radar pointing us now?" Greasy asked practically prying the device from Slick's back left pants pocket

Slick pointed to the north. "Thata way." And so the pair headed thata way in search of one of the seven crystal balls from the sky.

Vegeta surfaced face up in the lake. "This is the life!" He exclaimed to himself. "No worries, no problems and best of all, no clothes."

"I kinda like that no clothes thing too." A voice said from behind him.

Vegeta shrieked and desperately flailed about attempting to cover his naughty bits. "AHHHH! GET AWAY FROM MY NAKED SEXY BODY!"

Shira swam back slightly and snickered as Vegeta attempted to both cover himself and stay afloat in the lake. "Why are you covering yourself? I've seen it all before." She said with a hint of pride in her voice.

"Yeah... but not so... umm... wet! Yeah.. Yeah... wet... never this wet before... and I don't think we are ready for that step in our relationship. In fact, I might even suggest that you turn around and umm... not look at my wet nakedness." Vegeta said, attempting to cover for the girlish shriek and failing horribly.

Shira smirked and turned around. "Fine, but I have to add that the cold water is doing nothing for you... perhaps it's even cutting down on your appeal... I don't think I enjoy this wet nakedness quite as much as dry."

Vegeta looked down at what he was floundering to cover. "THAT'S NOT FAIR IT'S REALLY FREAKEN COLD IN HERE! YOU HAVE TO COMPENSATE!"

Shira began to swim to shore. "I CAN'T COMPENSATE FOR WHAT ISN'T THERE!" She hollered back with a laugh.

"DAMMIT!" Vegeta cursed to himself as he started to swim in as well.

"What a let down." Slick said as he impatiently swung his baseball bat around randomly. "Didn't even have to beat anyone up!"

Greasy smiled as he dodged Slick's bat. "Yeah... but think of all the money we'll save on bail..."

Then, from seemingly nowhere, the minds of both Slick and Greasy intersected on some sort of astro-physical plane of existence. "DRAGONBAIL!" They shouted, perfectly in sync with each other.

Slick looked at Greasy and Greasy looked at Slick. "GEFELTASTICK!" they yelled. "Weird." They said. "We have to stop doing this."

"Yeah." They said, continually in sync.

"What the hell is a gefeltastick?" They queried of each other. "Meh. Next bit of bail?" they asked each other.

"Last one." They said after a brief pause.

Slick stared down Greasy as they both reached for Slick's back pocket. Slick, as it was his pocket, reached the Dragonball radar first. Slick and Greasy frowned at each other. At that point they both reached up into the air to check the direction the wind was blowing and accidentally touched each other's fingers together.

A bright flash of light flared as the beings known as Slick and Greasy were forcibly compressed into one ultra being. The light slowly died down, revealing one bad mother. His black hair virtually dripping with grease, his black suit appearing so black it was blinding and most of all his chin so gigantic that small children ran in fear of being crushed. Finally in a booming voice the new being declared to all of the world. "I AM SLIASE... NO! GREICK!... that sounds dumb... I AM SLICK GREASE! YES! SLICK GREASE IS HERE TO PUMMEL AND PILLAGE YOUR BAIL OF DRAGONS! AND MY HANDY DEVICE SAYS! BUM BADA DUM!" Slick Grease checked the Dragonball radar swiftly and pointed swiftly and dramatically to the north. "THATA WAY!" With that Slick Grease began to hop up on to the rooftop using the walls as his method of transport and from the rooftop he began hopping towards the source of the blip.

Vegeta finished towelling off his hair and shuddered. "Wow... something feels very wrong."

Shira walked up behind him and slipped her arms around his waist. "What is it?"

Vegeta shrugged and rested his hands over hers. "Dunno. Just had like a gut wrench kinda feeling."

At the mention of gut wrench Shira quickly retreated a few steps. "You aren't going to puke or anything right?" She said, waving her hands in front of her to prevent anything from spilling from Vegeta's mouth to her currently half dressed body.

Vegeta smiled and made a retching sound as he approached her and aimed for her feet.

Shira shrieked and kicked off the ground and flew back a few feet. "DON'T EVEN THINK IT!" She bellowed as she brought her hands to her side and began gathering chi into her palms.

Vegeta looked up and smiled. "You're cute when you want to kill something." He said as he walked off and started to roll the sleeping bag up again.

Shira fired the ball of energy into the lake and landed nimbly next to Vegeta and held their backpack open for him. "You think so?" She said with a smirk.

Vegeta nodded as he stuffed the sleeping bag into the backpack. "Sure, when you have that determined look on your face your brow scrunches up and it makes your eyes look so cute and funny."

Shira winced for a second and then swiftly punched Vegeta into the center of the lake. "THAT'S NOT FUNNY! THAT'S THE LOOK I MAKE WHEN I'M GATHERING CHI! MY ENEMIES MUST FEAR THAT LOOK!" She screamed as Vegeta surfaced and spat out some water he had almost swallowed.

Vegeta laughed as he began to fly out of the water. "I'm not your enemy am I?" He asked with as good a puppy face as the Saiyan Prince's face could manage.

Shira huffed and turned away crossing her arms across her chest. "Not at the moment." She said, attempting to lace her words heavily with conversational venom.

Vegeta overacted a wince as he approached her and touched down a few feet away from her. "Well then why does it matter if I think it's cute when you do... this!" He said as he attempted poorly to mimic Shira's concentration face.

Shira practically roared as she swung a fist at Vegeta's face. He deftly blocked the attack and swept a foot at Shira's legs.

Shira hopped up and launched a quick chi ball which Vegeta dodged and responded to with a small volley of his own chi blasts.

Shira smirked and batted them away. Suddenly Vegeta appeared behind Shira, his hair glowing a bright yellow. Shira gasped as Vegeta landed a solid blow to her kidney which he followed up with a roundhouse kick, sending her deep into the pond. He then began to hover to the ground, his hair slowly returning to its' normal black.

Shira's head popped out from the surface of the water. "When did you get that fast?" She gasped as she swam to the shore.

Vegeta shrugged and waved his hand in front of himself instantly dressing himself in the purple gi and white shoulder pads given to him by Kami. "Dunno. It's just happening. I'm slowly getting faster." He giggled at his own crappy half joke and hefted the backpack onto his back. "Shall we be off?"

Shira shrugged and rubbed her side as thee pair lifted off and headed towards the biggest source of chi they could find that wasn't Kami.

End of Chapter

Author's Notes: (Well... that seems as good a place as any to end it for now. I appologize infinately for the uber slow updating but college is a first class bitch that I am finally rid of for now... though It puts me into the working force for the summer and potentially the next semester of school as well. Stupid costs and food needing... I hates it... I hates it all. Regardless shoot some feedback by me and um.. I'll try to update faster. Like soon...ish...ism... I appologize for the damn no spacing... my methods are not being supported as of late. neither is my thought bubble things half the time... cope for now and I'll reward you with better stuff at mordennight. cause hopefully Morden puts my stuff up.. sides.. you should give him some hits he helped me into this 'industry')

E-Mail me for stuff


	13. Chapter 13

Spiritual Misadventures

By: Evan McNeely

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my own ideas... and sometimes I don't even own them... they own me...

Note: Being the honest man that I am I am admitting to one of my mistakes. Puar is actually a female and I had been referring to her as a he... I guess it's one of those Frieza things. I'm not fixing it right now as other things draw my attention away. But eventually... say... chapter 15-20ish I'll be going back and correcting errors. If you spot any that may be too small or potentially too minor in detail that I might not catch them by all means e-mail me and explain the error so I can fix it up Thanks for your co-operation and enjoy the newest chapter of Spiritual Misadventures.

P.S Note: again my method of showing breaks has failed... if anyone knows why this is for the love of cheeses please tell me! 

Chapter 13

Vegeta grinned as he hovered high in the air above where he and Shira felt the massive power level. "I didn't think Piccolo would hang out in cities... unless he's rampaging."

Shira smiled at the prospect of having to subdue the obviously powerful foe. "We can only hope."

Vegeta's grin turned into his classic smirk. "I have been itching for a fight."

Shira regarded Vegeta curiously for a second. He actually craves the fight now? Perhaps his saiyan blood is finally showing through. She thought to herself as Vegeta stopped channeling chi towards the effort of flying and plummeted towards the unsuspecting city. "VEGETA!" She called out, not expecting him to just drop like that. She quickly forced as much of her chi as possible into the effort of catching up to the former Saiyan prince.

Vegeta laughed hysterically as the earth rushed up to greet him. Seconds before the fatal impact he swung himself about so he was now falling feet first instead of face first as he had been previously. His hair flickered swiftly and chi flared about him as he attained the Super Saiyan level. Using the fresh expanse of power he now controlled he formed a semi-sphere of energy around his feet, still not slowing in his descent.

The city rumbled as Vegeta impacted in the middle of a crossroad shattering glass and sending cement raining through the air. The immediate vehicles about him were flung madly into the air by the tremor the Saiyan had created. Two of the nearest buildings toppled forcing Vegeta to extend the semi-sphere to a full sphere about him effectively shielding out the rubble and support beams that crashed about him till he was fully covered.

Above him Shira looked aghast. "VEGETA!" She cried out as the last of the dust settled revealing that the area Vegeta had previously occupied was now fully covered by the destruction the Saiyan had wrought. She rushed down to the street as fast as she could propel herself. As soon as she reached the ground she began to haul the rubble off of where Vegeta had been and tossing it haphazardly about the area causing further destruction and sowing just as much confusion as Vegeta's entrance.

After she had dug around a foot down she felt a rumbling beneath her and she instinctively kicked off the mount and hovered a few meters from the pile looking hopefully as the debris and dust was kicked up as a bright blue sphere launched itself out of the ruin. As soon as it was clear the sphere disintegrated revealing a smiling Vegeta.

"THAT WAS EXHILARATING!" He cried out to whoever cared to hear. Still smiling he launched a swift volley of chi blasts at some of the remaining nearby buildings.

Shira looked on in awe. Does he plan to destroy this city on a whim? she asked herself as Vegeta turned from the buildings and began to lob energy at deserted vehicles.

Vegeta threw his head back and laughed loudly, scaring away the few civilians that remained in the area. "THIS IS GREAT!" He exclaimed as he flew away through the city, leaving Shira behind.

"Vegeta!" Shira called out, getting the man's attention. "Wait up!"

Vegeta spun about and looked Shira in the eyes. "Come and join in the fun Shira. Through this we should draw out Piccolo."

Shira looked skeptical. "From what you told me of Piccolo I doubt that it was his chi we sensed. He wouldn't be here... He's a solitude kinda guy right?"

Vegeta shrugged. "Whoever is here seems to be approaching." he said as he felt the other power drawing closer.

Shira nodded, feeling it as well. "Your plan did seem to work, but I still think that it's not Piccolo."

The dark haired Saiyan smirked. "If it isn't I'll still get the fight I want." He paused for a second as a ball of deep blue energy screamed past both Shira and himself. "Speaking of which." He said as he turned around.

Before him was a oddly dressed man. Slightly taller than Vegeta and slightly more muscular, the man grinned as Vegeta faced him. "PREPARE TO MEET JUSTICE WRONG DOER!" He called out from the ground.

Vegeta repressed a chuckle. The man was wearing what seemed to be a poorly replicated power Rangers uniform, which was almost completely orange and consisted of tight spandex that seemed to have greenish outlines of scales covering the man's entire body and a motorcycle helmet with a dragon face decal. "And you are?" Vegeta asked, motioning for the man to speed up the introduction.

"The Dragon Guardian." The man exclaimed simply as he dropped into a strange stance that seemed to have more appearance benefits than combat.

As the man said that a glint coming from behind the man's head caught Vegeta's attention. "A dragonball? Socketed in his helmet?"

The Dragon Guardian grinned behind his helmet as he noticed Vegeta's shocked expression. "So you know of the dragonballs then." He said to the saiyan prince.

Vegeta nodded. "I have... and I'm about to take that one off you hands... I have some more wishes I want granted."

The Dragon Guardian got into a more combat ready position. "Then come and take it. I think you'll find that to be difficult."

Vegeta, still Super Saiyan smirked and ran his hand through his spiky blonde hair. "We shall see. Shira... I'm going to take this one by myself."

Shira shrugged. "Fine by me." She then smiled. Hopefully this fight will awake more of the Saiyan in you.

Unbeknownst to the combatants below there was another watching the events play out. "There," he said to himself. "The final piece of Dragonbail is in that guy's head." The watcher produced a steel baseball bat. He stroked the thing lovingly. "The time to act is now." He then hopped swiftly towards the trio down the street.

Vegeta grunted as Dragon Guardian deftly knocked aside a kicked aimed at the helmeted man's head. This guy has some skill. The pair traded dozens of attacks within the span of a few seconds neither of them gaining any visible ground.

Suddenly there was a loud 'thunk'. The sound echoed for a few seconds and both fighters were staring at each other, The Dragon Guardian seemed completely dazed. Just as suddenly as the sound Dragon Guardian lurched forward and landed stiffly face first on the cement revealing a stranger looking man. Vegeta stumbled backwards a few steps in horror. HIS CHIN IS THE SIZE OF MY HEAD! He thought to himself in panic, the sight of the leather clad, big chinned man scaring him beyond wits.

"Slick Grease strikes with passion and fury." Said the man said, the sound seeming to come more from his enormous chin than his mouth. "He hunts his prey with stealth and grace." He continued the chin bobbing up and down rhythmically as he talked, lulling Vegeta into a half-stupor half-hypnotized state. "And most important, his hunt is over. The dragonbail gathered, Slick Grease vanishes."

At that exact moment the form of Slick Grease shimmered and vibrated. It continued to vibrate until finally it split into two equal halves and expelled both of them at high speed into nearby walls. Two equal size plumes of dust arose from where the forms landed.

"What happened?" The form on the left asked, not really directing the question at anyone in particular.

At that Vegeta snapped out of his trance and looked around, his opponent was down and the dragonball had been removed from the indentation on the back of his helmet. "The hell? Did I do the aura thingy again?" He asked himself.

"HEY YOU! YOU LOOK FAMILIAR!" A voice called out, the sound of it reminding Vegeta of Elvis and John Travolta simultaneously.

Vegeta turned quickly to face where the voice had come from. "Oh my fuck... it's them." He muttered as he turned around and pinched the bridge of his nose to fight off the inevitable headache the pair would cause.

"Doesn't he look familiar?" Greasy asked his compatriot.

Slick dusted himself off and ran his hand through his hair slicking back strand that had gone astray. "Yeah... he sorta does... cept the guy we knew had black hair... less o'course the guy died it."

Greasy looked confused. "You can change hair colours by killing your hair?" He asked.

Slick nodded sagely. "Yeah, grandma constantly kills her hair... maybe that's why she gets them gray ones alla the time."

Greasy, having forgotten completely about Vegeta, looked frustrated. "So by killing your hair a lot ya get greys and some times other colours?"

Slick nodded. "That's the basics of it yeah. So let's check this guy for greys and maybe he's our man."

"Sounds like a great idea Slick." Greasy said, picking up the baseball bat that Slick Grease had dropped during his transformation.

Vegeta turned back around. "Look. You don't have to check for grey hairs." He said, as he willingly dropped from Super Saiyan much to the surprise of the advancing pair.

Greasy shrieked. "HAIR KILLER!"

Slick stumbled back a step. "HOW THE HELL!"

Vegeta groaned. "OK... look.. I'm the kid that jumped higher than you in the bet to win my money ages ago... By the way... how is it that you guys still look the same?" Vegeta asked, straying from the topic.

Slick smirked. "That's our little secret... and it involves something my grandma did for me and Greasy... and it's secret... so we can't tell you." He said, sounding as though he was holding it above Vegeta's head.

Vegeta shrugged. "Ok... That's fine."

Figurative gears inside of Slick's head then clicked figuratively into place. "YOU'RE THAT KID! YOU'RE THE REASON GRANDMA HAD US DRINK THEM NASTY POTIONS OF YOUTH!"

Greasy's head snapped to attention. "GET IM!" He called out as he charged at Vegeta, steel bat held at the ready.

Vegeta took a deep breath and exhaled as Greasy rushed his way towards the Saiyan. As the bat wielding, big chinned man began to bring the bat down on Vegeta's head Vegeta shot out a fist in a vicious sucker punch, winding Greasy and driving him to his knees where Vegeta promptly booted him in the rib cage sending him flying back to impact with the approaching Slick.

Vegeta smirked, he had felt a few bones give way as he had kicked into Greasy. "Stay down." He warned. "Or I'll make sure you will never get up again."

Shira smirked. The threat Vegeta had just uttered had reminded her of one that his father had once told an upstart Saiyan so long ago. Perhaps he has come back to his senses... that 'Evan' mentality was just the result of a head injury.

Slick and Greasy seemed to be responsive to Vegeta's threat and remained on the ground. "Let's go find Piccolo... this is starting to wear thin on my patience." Vegeta said, irritated.

Shira nodded and followed as Vegeta took off into the air.

Once the pair had left Greasy rolled off of Slick. "I think my ribs are borked."

"It's broked Greasy... you can't bork something...cept a soccer ball." Slick said, sounding quite sure of himself.

Greasy nodded and wheezed some breath into his battered lungs. "I think I need a hospital." Greasy commented.

Slick nodded and ignored his friend, focusing instead on gathering together the seven dragonballs and setting them out in the open. "Now we need the keeper."

Just after he had said that a golden light shone through each of the balls blinding Slick for an instant. When his vision cleared he found himself staring at the base of what seemed to be a long, thick snake.

"Who disturbs my slumber?"

Slick looked confused, still staring about the base of the thing. "This thing is huge.. And it can talk..." He said as he bean to look up the winding tail of Shenron, dragon of Earth.

"What is your wish?"

"Hmm... wait a minute...where is the Dragonjail?" Slick asked as Greasy started to lose consciousness, his hands dramatically clutching at the fading light.

"There is no Dragonjail." Shenron replied in his booming voice.

"Then why did I need all this dragonbail?" Slick asked as Greasy's hands went limp and he passed out.

"Those are not what you call 'dragonbail' they are dragonballs."

"EWW!"

Shenron looked confused, never had he seen a humanoid quite this strange.

"I'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR DRAGON TESTICLES!"

Shenron was taken aback. "No... those are not the testicles of dragons. Those are crystal orbs that can be gathered together as you did to make one wish."

Slick pondered that for a minute, still not over the fact that he had touched dragon testicles, fondled dragon testicles and that his grandma had made a nice quilted pillow for a dragon testicle. "So why only one then? Can't I get more?"

Shenron paused. "No... I am only able to grant one wish, my counterpart, Porunga is able to grant more than that."

Slick nodded thoughtfully, his mind now deeply considering the sexual implications of his actions with the dragonballs. "Then I wish to get wishes from Porunga." He said.

"It is done." Shenron said disappearing, the dragonballs turning to stone and launching off into the air. As soon as Shenron had disappeared a second, larger and more imposing dragon took his place.

The dragon then began to speak in a language that Slick could not understand. Greasy gargled in the background.

The dragon then spoke again.

Greasy then stood up. "Wow... I feel much better."

Slick stared at Greasy, then turned back to the dragon. Finally he turned back to Greasy. "What did you just do?"

Greasy shrugged. "Dunno... who's the lizard?"

Slick shrugged. "Shenmue said his name was Poondunga or something.

Currently Porunga was looking impatient.

Greasy nodded. "Poodigger looks impatient."

Slick shook his head. "It's Poondunga... get it right."

"Poodigger, Poondunga... how ever you say it it's a stupid name." Greasy said running his hand thoughtfully over his bulbous chin. "I wouldn't name my lizard that... I'd name a lizard like that something like Sticky... or Ike."

Slick thought for a second, letting Porunga grow slowly more impatient. "Ike would be a good name for this lizard. Let's call him Ike... but he doesn't speak our language... so he needs a foreign name... like Gefelter."

Greasy nodded. "Ike Gefelter."

Suddenly, Porunga's powerful voice echoed throughout the city.

Slick looked at his compatriot. "Guess he likes it... Ike Gefelter... a nice name."

Porunga began to speak again and then vanished. The Namekian dragonballs trailing only seconds behind him and scattering about the Earth.

"Hmm.. Guess Ike had to go home... to bad we didn't get our wishes." Slick said, looking slightly downtrodden.

Greasy nodded. "Yeah... that is kinda crappy... at least I feel better."

Slick smiled. "And that's what counts."

"Well... I guess we gotta get the dragonbail all over again." Greasy said, sounding as though he was looking forward to traveling with his best friend again.

Slick repressed a shudder. "I don't think so..."

"Why not?"

"Cause they aren't bail... they're balls... like Dragon testicles."

Greasy took a surprised step back. "WE WERE TOUCHING SOME DRAGON'S NUTS!"

Slick nodded somberly. "I'm afraid it's true... we've been scammed."

Greasy hung his head. "By your grandma."

Vegeta and Shira were miles away from the city and heading in the direction of Master Roshi's island.

"Do we have to go back to the old pervert's house... I'm more developed now," She said as she motioned to her breasts. "He might not be able to control himself."

Vegeta smirked. "I haven't had that problem... I don't understand what all the fuss is about."

Shira shot him a deadly look. "You're a guy! He doesn't drool over you! HE DROOLS OVER ME!"

Vegeta continued his smirk. "I dunno... you haven't met Krillen yet... I think Roshi stunted the guys growth so he'd remain at 'the right height' forever."

Shira looked confused for a second. "What?... oh... OH! Really?"

Vegeta shrugged. "Probably...we probably broke that up when we stole the dragonball all those years ago."

Shira sighed in relief. "Well that's a relief."

"Yeah... I guess it is." Vegeta said as the pair touched down on the island. "Time to face up to whatever the hell Roshi wants." Vegeta laughed stiffly. "Old man probably forgot about it after all those years."

Shira smirked. "He is old." She said. "Maybe he died."

Vegeta shrugged and dismissed the possibility with a wave of his hand. He then kicked the door off it's hinges, sending it flying through the tiny building and into the nearest wall. Vegeta then gasped at what he saw inside.

On the floor in front of him, part of the door resting across his back, was a face down Roshi.

End of Chapter.

Author's Notes: (I'll end it there for now. Well, is he dead? I don't know... do you? Anyway, enough of that. So yeah I've received inspiration in the form of Dragonball Z Budokai 3 which hasn't left the trusty PS2 in weeks... but RE4 has definitely cut in on some of that time. Regardless I may or may not speed up the rate that I'm writing due to both games. Oh and work... that's approaching soon. So yeah C&C or R&R or whatever you kids are calling feedback these days.)

Evan McNeely-


	14. Chapter 14

Spiritual Misadventures

By: Evan McNeely

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my own ideas... and sometimes I don't even own them... they own me...

Author Talk; Wow it has been awhile... I'm going to finally get back to this story. I haven't been writing in ages and have received a few angry e-mails concerning that. I'm not going to say that real life is the issue because that would be a lie... It's fake life... or World of Warcraft... whichever. Anyway I've got a bunch of free time now so I'll try to finish this story.

For now I'm using Bold type to indicate telepathic conversation and Italics to denote inner thoughts for some reason my other methods aren't working...

Chapter 14

Vegeta blink blinked. "He's dead. I think..." He quickly turned looking from Shira to Master Roshi's motionless body. "You may have wished him dead..."

Shira looked concerned. "Umm.. I'm pretty sure I can't do that."

"Well I don't know the abilities of female saiyans... hell I've only really seen one before you... worked with Bardock... can't remember her name..." Vegeta mused as he began to pace the room.

"Shouldn't you check if he's dead?" Shira offered.

"Probably." Vegeta answered absent mindedly.

"Can you do that now then?"

"I thought you wanted him dead... you know.. what with the breast ogling he'd be doing now if he was alive." said Vegeta as he scratched his head and walked over to the body of Master Roshi. "Well only one way to find out if he's still alive." He said as he began to prod at the body with his foot. "Hey... You OK?"

Vegeta continued to prod for a few seconds before Roshi let out a gasp of air. "HOLY SHIT!!! ZOMBIE!!" Vegeta cried as he leapt into the air and then rushed behind Shira.

"Uhhhhh." Roshi moaned.

"AIM FOR THE BRAIN!!! IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO KILL HIM!!" Vegeta yelled as he scrambled up onto Shira's back grasping frantically at her clothes with one hand and pointing a shaking hand at Master Roshi.

"What... Happened?" Roshi asked himself in a tired voice.

"Talking... zombie?" Vegeta queried with a cocked eyebrow. He slowly released his death grip on Shira's cloths and slid down her back. "I think he's ok..."

"Course I'm ok." Roshi said slowly bringing himself to his feet. "You think some whippersnapper could lay me out?"

"Umm.. I mean... I didn't see what happened... but I'm going to assume that some 'whippersnapper' laid you out." Vegeta said, edging towards Master Roshi.

Roshi grinned. "Oh.. you would assume that eh?" He said pulling his trunks up. "You would assume wrong!"

"Then that's not your drool puddle on the floor... and covering half of you face." Vegeta said pointing at the wet spot on the floor and then to the one that glistened on Roshi's wrinkled face.

"Nope!" Roshi declared triumphantly.

Vegeta bent down and picked something off of the floor. "This isn't your tooth?" He said holding a yellowed tooth with small flecks of half dried blood encrusting it.

"Umm..." Roshi felt around his mouth. "Yeah that's mine... BUT THAT DOESN'T PROVE ANYTHING!"

Vegeta tossed the tooth to Roshi, who caught it and set about trying to put it back in his head. "Right... Anyway we're looking for Piccolo... and like everything in this universe it's taking a very long time and wearing my patience thin. So cough up any information you have on the green alien so we can be on our way."

Roshi grinned. "Oh… looking for Piccolo eh? I may know a few things."

Vegeta sighed. "Then tell me."

"FIRST! A favor." Roshi said with a lecherous smile.

"Name it…"

Roshi looked over at Shira. Then back at Vegeta. "Well…."

"NO!!" Shira cried out. "If it has anything to do with me forget it!"

Vegeta looked over at Shira who had crossed her arms over her chest and was pouting. "Ok… a different favor then?"

Roshi looked sad. "Sorry… I have my mind set on it."

Vegeta mimicked Roshi's sad face. "Oh… that's too bad… I wonder how long we'll have to kick the shit out of you before you tell us what we want to know."

Roshi was taken aback. "WAH! YOU WOULDN'T!"

Shira cracked her knuckles. "Wouldn't think twice about it."

Roshi began to blabber. "Umm.. ah… well… when you put it that way…"

----------------------------

Puar woke up covered in egg rolls. She had been sleeping in dumpsters for the last few days attempting to follow the trail of the androids that killed Yamcha. She had thought that she had seen a giant dragon in the sky yesterday and had followed it only to find a strange man in a motorcycle helmet and a bizarre costume running off holding his head. The trail had picked up again though and Puar was following to the best of her ability. Soon she would find the androids responsible. Soon she would have her revenge.

-----------------------

Slick and Greasy sat in a ramen bar thinking over their situation. "So we've been chasin' dragon nuts and givin' back the dragon his seven nuts let's us make a wish." Slick mused as he slurped down some ramen.

Greasy nodded. "Yup… that's what's going on I guess. So what's our next move Slick?"

Slick shrugged. "The dragon testicle locater seems broked."

"You mean it's borked?" Greasy interjected.

"I dun told you, you can only bork soccer balls…" Slick said, correcting his friend.

"Can you bork dragon balls?" Greasy asked his mental gears shaking off some rust.

"Yeah I guess so… but who would want to?" Slick said, finishing his ramen and ordering another bowl.

Greasy played his chopsticks on the counter like drumsticks. "I dunno… but if we borked us some dragon balls we might be able to make a new wish… like to be able to understand Poodigger."

Slick shrugged. "Yeah maybe… and I thought his name was Ike…"

Greasy nodded as he picked his nose with one of the chopsticks. "Yeah.. Ike Gefelter… I wonder where he is now?"

Slick shrugged again and started on his new ramen bowl. "Probably in dragon jail for not giving us wishes."

"Yeah probably." Greasy said as he began to eat his ramen.

--------------------

Vegeta closed the door to Master Roshi's shack behind him. "OK… so Piccolo should be in the mountains somewhere that way." He said pointing off at a mountain range.

"Yeah that's what the old pervert said." Shira said looking at the mountain range.

"Alright lets….. whoa…" Vegeta began to reel. He fell to his knees and propped himself up with one hand, grasping his head with the other. "What's… happening?" He asked as his vision fogged.

"Vegeta?" Shira asked in a worried voice. "Are you OK?"

A moment later Vegeta stood up. "I'm fine Shira… where am I? This isn't planet Vegeta?" Vegeta kicked back and into the air, his ki flaring. "WHAT HAPPENED!!?!" He yelled glancing around frantically.

"Vegeta… you are worrying me…" Shira said holding her hands up to her mouth.

Suddenly Vegeta stopped looking around and began to fall to the ground. Shira rushed over to him and managed to catch him before he hit the ground. "Wha… Shira?... what happened?"

Shira held him close to her chest. "It's ok… your alright now…" She said in a comforting tone.

Vegeta attempted to fight being pulled into Shira's ample bosom but gave up not having the strength. "I don't know what came over me."

Shira shushed him and started to rock him as if he were a child. "It's ok love… I have you…"

Vegeta pushed himself back slightly. He looked up at Shira and grinned. "You don't have to mother me." Shira let him go looking slightly ashamed. "It's ok… I… I don't know what happened there, and I can't tell you it won't happen again… so just… watch out for me will you?"

Shira smiled and leaned in to hug Vegeta. "Of course."

Vegeta smiled as he hugged her back. **What just happened…** He asked of King Kai telepathically.

**Whoa… Vegeta… I haven't heard from you in a while**. King Kai responded emanating confusion.

**Yeah I know Kai… but something weird just happened to me… I was wondering if you noticed anything?** Vegeta asked as Shira started to stroke his hair.

**To be honest Vegeta I wasn't really watching you… but I know a few people who were… I'll ask them if they saw something odd.** Kai said.

Vegeta felt Kai mentally disengage and snapped back to the real world where Shira was comforting him. _I really don't know why I keep fighting this… it's kinda nice._ He thought as he gave into Shira's warmth.

------------------------

**Kame… you were watching Vegeta weren't you?** Kai telepathically asked.

Kai felt the strong mental presence of Kame guardian of Earth. **Yes… it seems a sprit attacked him… I'm not adept in the realm of sprits so I wasn't able to identify it or discern what it wanted.**

Kai frowned. **Thank you Kame… you have confirmed what I suspected**.

As Kai started to leave the mental conversation he felt Kame once more sending his thoughts to him. **May I ask what it was? I am very interested in this boy and would like to know if there is anything I can do.**

Kai's frown grew. **I'm afraid there isn't much either of us can do right now… but I will tell you what I suspect.** Kai paused to gather his thoughts. **He is being attacked by the sprit that used to reside in his body… I think it is attempting to regain control. Most likely to get revenge.**

**Revenge for what?** Kame asked feeling worried.

**The destruction of Planet Vegeta.**

End of Chapter.

Notes: OOOH cliffhanger… I hope people enjoy this… I don't even know if people are tracking this story any more… I've been on hiatus for ages now and I keep sorta going on and off. Well I want to finish off this story so try to hang on whoever is reading.

Email: ahold of me for anything, cause I'm pretty much up for it.


	15. Chapter 15

Spiritual Misadventures

By: Evan McNeely

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my own ideas... and sometimes I don't even own them... they own me...

Author Talk: Ok, so I'm going to try for one to two updates a month. I have the time for it now. I only got one review for that last chapter but like 100 hits… show me some love people. I've opened up anonymous reviews for you shy people out there. Come on I want to hear what you have to say good or bad. Oh, I'm also toying with the idea of a fan picked ending to a few of the arcs I've got. The first one being Puar. Send me e-mails at with what you want to happen to Puar and his hunt for the 'android' that killed Yamcha. I have a few things in mind that I kinda hinted at but none that have stuck with me so let me know what you want to happen.

For now I'm using Bold type to indicate telepathic conversation and Italics to denote inner thoughts for some reason my other methods aren't working...

Chapter 15

Vegeta stood up, lifting Shira up as well. "We should be on our way."

Shira sighed. "I guess… but couldn't we stay here for a while?"

"What is there to do here?" Vegeta asked glancing around the mountainous area.

Shira smiled and blushed slightly. Her expression all the answer she needed.

"Oh… OH!" Vegeta said, recoiling in surprise. He swiftly regained his composure. "Shira… um… It's not that I don't like you… but…"

"You don't want to?" Shira asked in a sultry voice.

"Um… it's not that I don't have… ah… urges… It's just kinda odd, you know… the age difference." Vegeta said scratching the back of his neck and pacing slightly.

Shira pressed herself up against Vegeta. "I've been good… I've respected you… but if you won't do this for you… would you do it for me?" She said, running her hand gently against his chest.

Vegeta flushed. "Err…" he quickly pushed himself away from Shira and turned around. "Look… I just want to find Piccolo as fast as I can to get this lame quest thing done with… save the multi-verse and all that." He said still scratching the back of his neck.

Vegeta felt soft hands sneak up under his shirt and up his chest. Then full breasts pressed into his back. "Please?"

"Oh jesus." Vegeta said feeling a nose bleed coming on.

Shira slowly turned Vegeta around and kissed him lightly on the neck, working her way up to his lips. He seemed paralyzed not fighting it and keeping almost perfectly ridged. "I know you want this as much as I do." Shira said in between kisses.

Like water bursting forth from a dam Vegeta suddenly gave in and in the same instant started kissing back. "You don't even know how much." He said as the pair slowly brought each other to the ground.

---------------------------

"FUCK!" Slick yelled as he tossed his hands into the air in defeat. "God damn Tekken!"

Greasy grinned from the Tekken machine beside Slick's. "Gotta pick tiger face man. He's the bestest!"

Slick seemed to mull this for a second as he bit his lower lip. "Tiger man is gay. Says so right here." He said pointing at his machine.

"No way!" Greasy said as he leaned over to take a look at Slick's arcade machine.

Suddenly an aluminum baseball bat became violently lodged in Slick's machine, right next to the point where Greasy was looking.

"That doesn't say he's gay… just says… Louis… vile… slugger."

"Yeah… means tiger man is gay." Slick said taking the bat from the machine as other arcade patrons started to flock to the pair.

"You mean that bat that you carry says tiger man is gay on it?" Greasy asked, oblivious to the gathering crowd.

"Yeah… now let's go… we need ta get the dragon balls finder working." Slick said, leaving the arcade in no hurry as a balding fat man rushed up behind him.

"HEY!!" The fat man said in a stereotypical fat man voice. "You broke my machine!! You have to pay!!"

"He didn't broke it!" Greasy said looking at the man like he was stupid. "He borked it!"

"Just like I'ma bork your face!" Slick said, swinging the bat into the fat man's bald head.

A loud Thunk was heard.

"You borked him good." Greasy said.

"That's gross… let's leave." Slick said as he began to leave, Greasy quickly following suit.

------------------------------

**Let me get this straight.** Kame telepathically said to King Kai. **Vegeta, who we both know is not the actual Vegeta, but some teenager from another beyond, is being attacked by the actual Vegeta…**

**To gain control of his body, to take revenge for the destruction of planet Vegeta. **King Kai finished.

**Which would leave an ultra powerful being with a tendency to kill people running around.** Kame thought. **We have to make sure that Evan does not lose control of that body. We need to stop Vegeta's malicious spirit. **

**I know Kame. I know. But how is the biggest problem. **Kai said sending out worried feelings.

**We need to speak with that spirit and try to reason with him. Maybe we can get Evan to take the revenge for him… ** Kame offered weakly.

**Maybe… or we could send some of the greatest warriors in the spirit realm to capture this spirit and throw him into the home for infinite losers!** Kai thought excitedly.

**Yes… what was the name of that Namekian warrior that Grand Kai favored… Piko…** Kame thought grasping at straws.

**Pikon… yes he should be able to capture that rogue spirit. He is always up for a challenge.** Kai thought feeling more at ease.

**Yes… that is decided. But is the home for infinite losers a necessary step?** Kame sent with a feeling of sorrow.

**It is the safest option.** Kai sent.

**I agree but this spirit has done nothing but try to take back it's body. Evan is the aggressor here.** Kame sent feeling defensive.

**Perhaps we should allow him to try snake road. If he falls off it will be his own fault.**

**I agree with that course of action.** Kame sent.

**Then it is settled. I'll contact Grand Kai immediately.**

-----------------

Vegeta sighed. "Who would have thought I was missing out on something so awesome."

Shira cuddled up to him wrapping them in one of the capes that Vegeta had summoned to make blankets. "You should never have fought me… we could have been doing this a lot more."

Vegeta rolled to face her. "What was I thinking?" He said with a grin. "We'll have to make up for lost time."

----------------

Slick stood outside of Capsule Corp's headquarters. "These are the guys that built the dragon balls finder. They should know how to fix it."

Greasy spat on the ground. "I still say we should hit it with a rock… that's how I got my bike to work last week."

"It doesn't ride straight anymore." Slick stated simply.

"That's nothing a rock won't fix." Greasy said, sounding proud of himself.

"Well this is an argument for another time. Let's talk with some Capsule guys." Slick said as he made his way into the building, Greasy following behind.

"Can I help you?" An overly cheerful voice queried of the pair as they entered the building.

"Yeah maybe." Slick said nonchalantly turning to face a plump receptionist.

"Oh. Then what can I do for you?" the receptionist asked.

"You mean what can you maybe do for us?" Greasy corrected getting an approving nod from Slick.

"Yes… well…" The receptionist said still sounding cheery.

Slick piped up. "'Nough chitty chatter! We gots a dragon testicle finder from your company and it's broked!"

"Borked." Greasy added in-between coughs getting a glare from Slick.

"Dragon testicle finder?" The receptionist asked. "Shouldn't you just check beneath it's um… wee wee?"

Slick recoiled. "Oh… my… God!"

"What?" Greasy asked.

"Why didn't I think of that?!" Slick yelled, causing a few people who were milling around to cease their milling and look at the yelling man.

"Well I'm glad I could help." The receptionist said.

"Yeah…" Slick said, sounding stunned. "Such a good idea…" He said as he began to leave, Greasy trailing along behind him. "BUT WAIT!" He screamed, rushing back to the receptionist. "TELL ME HOW TO FIND DRAGON WEE WEES!!"

"Well." The receptionist started un-phased by Slick's behavior. "I'd start by looking for dragons."

"GENIOUS!!" Slick cried as he began to walk away again. As he made it to the door he stopped. Slowly he turned back to the receptionist. Then, in a sudden burst of movement he rushed her desk causing un-paperweighted paper to fly about. "WHERE DO I FIND DRAGONS!!!"

"Well." She began. "I'm glad you asked." She then opened her drawer and pulled out a large laminated book with 'Capsule Corp products' printed in big letters on the cover. "We have some locating devices in our product list. Maybe there is one for dragons." With that she began flipping through the book, making sure to lick her thumb before flipping every page.

Slick waited patiently for a good thirty seconds before he grabbed the book from the receptionist and began flipping through it at break neck speed. Suddenly and without warning he stopped. The resulting stop of motion caused the recently settled paper to fly back up. This caused more of the milling people to cease milling activities and look on in wonder. "THAT ONE!" Slick cried slamming his index finger into the book and spinning it around with his other hand making the paper tear slightly. "I WANT THAT ONE!!"

The receptionist coughed slightly and picked up a pair of reading glasses off of her desk. Fixing them on the bridge of her nose she bent down to look at Slick's selection. "Oooh the dragon ball finder mark two. An excellent choice. Would you like to buy it now or have it delivered so that you can pay later?" She asked kindly still unfettered by the outrageous man in front of her.

"I'll get it now. NO TIME TO WASTE!!!" Slick yelled planting one foot on the receptionist's desk and waving his fist in the air.

"Ok then… I'll send word down to storage and we'll get you one in a jiffy." She said smiling as she picked up her desk phone and dialed. After a short pause she spoke up. "Yes hello… Ralph? Yes… there is a nice young man up here looking for a dragon ball finder mark two… could we have that sent up now?" She waited for a few seconds and began twirling her hair. "Oh ok… yes… no problem… five minutes… ok dear… thanks a lot." She then hung up the phone and turned to Slick who was still waving his fist in the air. Her smile faltered slightly when she saw Greasy mimicking Slick but instead of standing on her desk he had his foot planted firmly in one of the potted plants that adorned the Capsule Corp main entrance. "Ok dear. You'll have your dragon ball finder mark two in five minutes. Now would you like to pay with cash or credit?"

Slick frowned and stepped down from the receptionist's desk. "I have to pay?"

The receptionist let out a small slightly nasal laugh. "Why yes dear. It will come to ten thousand zennie."

Slick gawked. "WHA!!?" He then guffawed. "Really?"

"Yes."

"Ten thousand?"

"Yes… if you don't have enough right now we can do a payment plan."

Slick's right eyebrow raised slowly. "Tell me more of this 'payment plan'."

---------------

"Vegeta you are a machine." Shira said with a smile as she rolled off of her lover.

Vegeta grinned. "Wow… I don't think I want to do anything else."

"We'll have to eat sometime!" Shira said teasingly as she poked him in the ribs lightly, making him flinch slightly.

Vegeta's stomach grumbled in agreement. "Yeah… sometime being now… takes a lot out of a guy."

Shira kissed Vegeta on the forehead and got up rooting around for her underwear she slowly put them on. "So where do you want to go for food? I'd rather if we didn't have to hunt for some food."

Vegeta nodded and rested his head on his hands looking up in the sky. "Yeah… we should probably find a city or something and grab some grub."

Shira put on the rest of her clothes and threw Vegeta's over to him. "Sounds good… there was a place a few miles south wasn't there?"

Vegeta nodded as he motioned quickly across his body, suddenly clothing himself in his purple gi with white boots and gloves. "Yeah… I think that was Orange Star… that's where I landed."

"Ok… so let's go then." Shira said, sounding slightly impatient. "We should get some Chinese."

"Good call."

End of Chapter.

Author's notes: OK not a cliffhanger per say, but a potential tie in. Give me some feedback. 


End file.
